Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Thinking Back...

Today I found myself thinking back to when my son was born...
It was nearly 17 yrs. ago and I remember it like yesterday. A boy! I was so surprised... Everyone, myself included thought that I'd be having a girl. I remember quite clearly my husband looking at me with an excitement that I'd never witnessed before. He was SO nervous up to that point. Not knowing what to expect in the delivery room... Heck, not knowing what to expect at the notion of becoming a father period! He was nearly dancing a jig around the delivery room with his new son in his arms... I can't help but smile at the memory.

My son was born in the morning and by afternoon my in-laws arrived to see their first grandchild/nephew. My mother-in-law, the former mayor of her city and ever the politician marched to my room and said with some authority, "I've seen my grandson in the nursery and I can state quite matter of factly that he is THE most beautiful baby there, and I say that completely unbiased as his grandmother." My father-in-law, with a smile bigger than his face could hold, agreed whole-heartedly and handed me a book he had picked out for this occassion, it was A.A. Milne poems of Christopher Robin & Pooh. The perfect first present for my little boy. Everyone visited for awhile, shared in our joy and then they all went out, my husband included for dinner together to celebrate. Damn, if that wasn't a disappointment for me... But after all was said and done, I had it the best, I spent that entire first night with my son sleeping on my chest... All those months of having him inside of me, wondering what he might look like, sound like... And what it would be like to look into his eyes. I spent most of the night just marveling at the miracle that was my son.

We went home from the hospital on a Monday morning... With all the pomp and circumstance that's befitting of two people who've never used a car seat or driven their very own little human in a car before. Dad drove and Mom rode in the backseat to keep watch over our little guy. He fit into that car seat much like a sack of potatoes would... Kinda doubled over on himself, his little hood falling over his eyes. I wondered how he could manage that position without getting a terrible kink in his neck but had to remind myself that just a few days earlier his position was far more confined.

We spent the next couple of days taking loads of photographs and adjusting to meeting every need our son had... changing diapers, feeding, rocking and walking him when he fussed, which he didn't do much. We had a few neighbors stop by from time to time and one neighbor pointed out how yellow he looked and advised we take him to the pediatrician before his scheduled check-up. Having been with him constantly we hadn't really noticed the particular 'hue' he had taken on, but by the time we got him in front of the doctor we were frightened. The whites of his eyes had taken on a mustardy tone. It only took a moments glance for the doctor to say, "We need to admit your son to the hospital asap, he has an advanced case of jaundice." I didn't know what this meant, all I could focus on was that the doctor wanted my baby in the hospital! All I could think was, "I just got him, please don't take him away from me!"

We went to the hospital where he was quickly admitted. By evening we had witnessed our son getting heel pricks by an almost constant rotation of doctors and nurses. All I could do was watch and cry. Finally my husband turned to one of the nurses and said, "I think I'm going to take my wife for a walk." The nurse brightened considerably and said, "Oh Mr. Blystone, that's a WONDERFUL idea!" I wasn't entirely aware at the time that part of what I was going through was post-partum issues but I really was a mess. So we walked around the hospital grounds and my husband got my laughing, which he's always been a master at. He convinced me that this was just a minor event and we'd have our son home soon. As we walked on to the elevator to head back to my sons room we were met by the night security officer who looked at me and said, "Don't worry honey, it won't be long now." It wasn't until he exited the elevator that I realized he thought I was in labor... That's when I wanted to go after him and tear his throat out!

We got back to my son, who had yet another bandage on his foot and as I stood there caressing him as he lay under the 'bili-lights' one of the nurses wheeled in a machine twice the size of a bread maker. I looked at her and said, "Oh God, what are they going to hook him up to now?" Mind you, he currently lay naked all but for a small pad as a make-shift diaper, on a light table with and I.V. hooked up to his little body and a pair of velcro tabs stuck to each side of his head to hold a visor which protected his eyes. Now what? The nurse looked at me and said, "Oh this isn't for him, this is a breast pump machine." That's when I looked at my husband and said, "OH MY GOD, they're gonna hook ME up to that thing!" and I started crying all over again. Thankfully, they never did hook me up to the machine... I think they just moved it into the room for storage... But more importantly, my little boy got to go home on Friday, 3 days after he was admitted to the hospital. I was told his jaundice was brought on by a breast milk incompatibility which once the red blood cells were able to clear out his system wasn't an issue anymore.

I don't know why this memory became so clear this morning. I guess I wonder sometimes if his early adventure with lights and machinery somehow effected him and made him into the curious engineering guy he is today. And my, how the boy loves lights. When he was a toddler we used to take him to the lighting department of any store we visited just to watch the joyful expression on his face... Not to mention the infatuation he had with the cause and effect of light switches... But that's another story for another day... Today I just wanted to put a memory down in words.



Anonymous Amy said...

Funny - I was reading this and thinking, "I wonder if this had anything to do with the light obsession." And there you go!

3:09 PM, January 23, 2007  
Blogger lime said...

that's a very precious memory. thank you for sharing it. those first babies really are somethign aren't they?

5:36 PM, January 23, 2007  
Blogger Margie Blystone said...

You got it Amy... Scarey isn't it?

Lime, I hope the post brought back some precious memories for you too.

It seems all to easy to forget those magical moments when they're now so grown up. I'm so glad I took the time to write it out.

9:41 PM, January 23, 2007  
Blogger Newleywed Girl said...

That was a great story...funny thing...as Jimmy and were discussing the "kid thing" the other night...I confessed that I am scared out of my mind of this whole, carrying another human around in my stomach and being responsable for not falling down the stairs and running into things and eating crappy when I want to...then the fact that it will be a real live human and fully our responsibilaty...dogs are so much easier...not to sure if I am ready, but then I think I have friends who have more then one and a cousin 5 years younger who has one 5 years old now!! Does the scaryness go away?

12:58 PM, January 24, 2007  
Anonymous Carly said...

That was sweet Margie. Way to go blogging moms!

1:20 AM, February 24, 2007  

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