It's a little early but Happy Mother's Day!
Not long ago a dear friend of mine out in California entered the 'Amazing World of Motherhood.' We've been passing e-mails back and forth and she's been sharing all the details of her new role with me. I've enjoyed so much reading and reminiscing about what it's like to become a Mom for the first time. In honor of 'Mother's Day' I thought I would post an e-mail I sent to her that she seemed to enjoy. The following is that e-mail:
You sound So blissful, So Happy, So In Love... I'm SO Thrilled for you! Now, at the expense of sounding like the 'know it all' big sister... It's NEVER going to be this easy again!!!! Easy you say? This is SO hard.... I'm tired, I need a shower, All of my clothes have spit-up on them and Damn it, I'm TIRED!!! Okay, maybe you're not exactly feeling these things but from what I can remember of that time I sure did! But believe me, THIS is the easy part!
Just wait until...
Stage 1: Mobility
Oh sure you can't wait for the little guy to roll over so you'll have proof of what a Genius your boy is... But after he rolls, he scooches and after he scooches, he crawls and after he crawls, he toddles and after he toddles, he *gasp* WALKS!!! Each and every one of these milestones is fraught with peril... I can't tell you how many times I've issued this silent prayer heavenward, "Please God, just let me keep him in one piece until pre-school!"
Stage 2: Vocal Ability
Those little coos can melt the heart of the abomidable snowman and few things in life are more rewarding than hearing 'Mama' for the first time... However, hearing Mama for the 92,000th time in one day can get a wee bit grateing... That's when you'll keep reminding him of another new word 'Da-Da'... Oh, and the other word he'll learn seemingly without even being taught is 'NO'... Actually you did teach him this word without realizing... It was during Stage 1.
Stage 3: Socialization
My advice is join a playgroup! It's not so much because it's important to give your son the chance to socialize but because after awhile you're going to CRAVE Adult Conversation!!! But be warned... The first time one of those other obnoxious children make your sweet baby cry you're going to lust for the sweet taste of revenge... However, it's important to keep in mind that it's unwise to hire a hit-man to wipe out that little 4 yr. old bully. It is extremely important though for your boy to grow up learning how to stand up for himself.... This, yes THIS is the REALLY TRULY heart-wrenching part of raising a boy. There is such a fine line between teaching your boy compassion and understanding... Yet also instill him the idea that he shouldn't have to take any Crap from bullies! Good luck, I'm not sure I got it right... Our son went through so many bullying issues and my emotions went from wanting to throw my arms around him and protect him like a mother grizzly that went off her prozac... To wanting to kick him in the butt and tell him not to be anybodys doormat! In hindsite I wish I'd been more of a grizzly.... Because my son is and always will be the more compassionate type.... When he used to get picked on in public school he'd come home and ask me the heart wrenching question, "Why would they want to do/say that to me Mom?"... Fighting back tears I'd explain that sometimes kids come from bad environments and that's the only way they know how to lash out is at someone seemingly weaker than the person they receive that same kind of treatment from... That's when he would reply, "Gee Mom, I feel so bad for Him/Her."... And then I'd quickly say, "No, NO... They're bullying YOU, don't feel bad for THEM!".... My son just is, and always will be one of those really sensitive individuals and I'm proud of that BUT there were times I just wanted to get him to stand up for himself a little more!
Gee, I've really rambled on... Sorry for acting like such a know-it-all... Sometimes you just want to tell all the advice hounds to go to hell... Which is good because, truth is we all go through this totally blind... Each child is completely different, there are no formulas except to love them with all of your heart and don't let a day go by without letting them know it!
I really thought I'd never get the opportunity to see you become a Mom... and I'm SO glad you did! I look forward to hearing all about the Joys, the Trials and the sheer Terror and Excitement of the whole process.
Much Love to You and Your Family,
Margie
You sound So blissful, So Happy, So In Love... I'm SO Thrilled for you! Now, at the expense of sounding like the 'know it all' big sister... It's NEVER going to be this easy again!!!! Easy you say? This is SO hard.... I'm tired, I need a shower, All of my clothes have spit-up on them and Damn it, I'm TIRED!!! Okay, maybe you're not exactly feeling these things but from what I can remember of that time I sure did! But believe me, THIS is the easy part!
Just wait until...
Stage 1: Mobility
Oh sure you can't wait for the little guy to roll over so you'll have proof of what a Genius your boy is... But after he rolls, he scooches and after he scooches, he crawls and after he crawls, he toddles and after he toddles, he *gasp* WALKS!!! Each and every one of these milestones is fraught with peril... I can't tell you how many times I've issued this silent prayer heavenward, "Please God, just let me keep him in one piece until pre-school!"
Stage 2: Vocal Ability
Those little coos can melt the heart of the abomidable snowman and few things in life are more rewarding than hearing 'Mama' for the first time... However, hearing Mama for the 92,000th time in one day can get a wee bit grateing... That's when you'll keep reminding him of another new word 'Da-Da'... Oh, and the other word he'll learn seemingly without even being taught is 'NO'... Actually you did teach him this word without realizing... It was during Stage 1.
Stage 3: Socialization
My advice is join a playgroup! It's not so much because it's important to give your son the chance to socialize but because after awhile you're going to CRAVE Adult Conversation!!! But be warned... The first time one of those other obnoxious children make your sweet baby cry you're going to lust for the sweet taste of revenge... However, it's important to keep in mind that it's unwise to hire a hit-man to wipe out that little 4 yr. old bully. It is extremely important though for your boy to grow up learning how to stand up for himself.... This, yes THIS is the REALLY TRULY heart-wrenching part of raising a boy. There is such a fine line between teaching your boy compassion and understanding... Yet also instill him the idea that he shouldn't have to take any Crap from bullies! Good luck, I'm not sure I got it right... Our son went through so many bullying issues and my emotions went from wanting to throw my arms around him and protect him like a mother grizzly that went off her prozac... To wanting to kick him in the butt and tell him not to be anybodys doormat! In hindsite I wish I'd been more of a grizzly.... Because my son is and always will be the more compassionate type.... When he used to get picked on in public school he'd come home and ask me the heart wrenching question, "Why would they want to do/say that to me Mom?"... Fighting back tears I'd explain that sometimes kids come from bad environments and that's the only way they know how to lash out is at someone seemingly weaker than the person they receive that same kind of treatment from... That's when he would reply, "Gee Mom, I feel so bad for Him/Her."... And then I'd quickly say, "No, NO... They're bullying YOU, don't feel bad for THEM!".... My son just is, and always will be one of those really sensitive individuals and I'm proud of that BUT there were times I just wanted to get him to stand up for himself a little more!
Gee, I've really rambled on... Sorry for acting like such a know-it-all... Sometimes you just want to tell all the advice hounds to go to hell... Which is good because, truth is we all go through this totally blind... Each child is completely different, there are no formulas except to love them with all of your heart and don't let a day go by without letting them know it!
I really thought I'd never get the opportunity to see you become a Mom... and I'm SO glad you did! I look forward to hearing all about the Joys, the Trials and the sheer Terror and Excitement of the whole process.
Much Love to You and Your Family,
Margie
posted by EmBee at 10:16 AM
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