Chunkin' the Pumpkin'...

I've never been to Woodstock... But I think I got a taste of it this weekend... Minus the great music, that is! Saturday we drove 2 hrs. south to attend 'Punkin' Chunkin' an annual event in Delaware which always takes place the weekend after Halloween. Discovery channel airs a documentary detailing the event... Perhaps you've seen it? I have, but believe me... It's nothing like actually being there... Let me paint you a picture, but first we'll start with a couple of photos: Figure A
Figure B

Notice the line of traffic in Figure A... This photo illustrates the the first 30-40 min. wait we had on the access road TO the 'Punkin' Chunkin' event. The road snaked around several times which served to leave the occupants in the car breathless as to what might manifest itself around the next bend... More often than not all that was visible were more cars and another bend in the road.

Figure B illustrates the multiple rows of traffic we were led to once we finally reached the main field of operation. We were in the first row, there are roughly 7 other rows of traffic to our right. I chose not to take any photos out of the left side of our car where all manner of rv's, trailers, school buses and campers were parked... Along with the drunken attendees relieving themselves at, near or against said, rv's/trailers/school buses/campers... There were port o' potties but I guess they were too far away to safely navigate in an advanced state of inebriation or the lines were just too long.

The gal who took our money at the end of the 'parking lot from hell' was quite obviously schooled in some form of 'new math' when she told us, "That'll be $29... 3 people @ $7 ea. + $2 to park!" (my daughter rode with our friends who got separated from us when the state troopers who were alternating rows of cars coming in from the two access roads cut the end of the line just after our friends in front of us made it through... But of course!) My husband explained to the girl 'HIS' version of the math problem and we paid our $21. This is when parking became a 'Free for all'... Rather than well managed event parking... ie, follow the car in front of you and slide into the spot next to him... This manner of parking meant winding around through cars parked at odd angles, dodging the drunks, fire pits and lawn chairs and searching for an empty spot... It didn't take us any more than say another 15 min. for that to happen... So all in all it only took us about 1 hr and 45 min. to park once we reached the event.

Let me take a moment to explain something here... My husband is the most wonderful guy... Normally a patient man with a very even temper... He's not an impulsive guy and he's usually quite frugal.... But, 'Punkin' Chunkin' can do funny things to some people. In fact, 'Punkin Chunkin' turned this once patient mans face into a twisted, reddened, tight lipped visage of rage. This once frugal man was threatening to leave before we even parked $29 or $21 be damned because according to him it was worth any price just to get out of this "Hell hole!" We were however separated from our friends now... And more importantly, our daughter... So we HAD to find them... No problem, just dial the cell-phone and see if we can figure out where they are.... Did you know that there are still parts of Delaware that encounter spotty cell phone service? Yeah, we weren't aware of it until the little window on my cell phone informed me it was "Searching for Service"... Now some people might panic or blow their top at this point... Some kind of did, but I won't point any fingers. I, on the other hand just tried to relax and waited for cell service which eventually returned, left and returned again. We DID finally find our friends and tried to make light of the situation with jokes and laughter... All except that calm, cool, patient man I married... There wasn't enough ice in Southern Delaware to douse that fire.

Eventually we made our way over to the fence line to watch the 'Punkin' Chuckin' machines. In light of all the problems getting there we actually happened upon the event at the perfect time. Competition for the day was over so the machines (cannons, trebuchet's, sling shots) were all shooting off pumpkins randomly and damn but those things can fly! We chose a favorite called 'The Pumkin' Slayer' which was a trebuchet style machine managed by a guy who looked just like 'Jay' from 'Jay and Silent Bob'... I don't know if it was the machine or the look-alike that enchanted us more. At one point one of the sling/fling style modles near us nearly took out a few on-lookers with a renegade pumkin', which added to the 'thrill' of the event... But for the most part we enjoyed the opportunity to at least watch some pumpkins fly... I say for the most part because as long as we stood in that field my husband was NOT having a good time.

We walked around a bit, trying to decide if we should get something to eat but determined that we'd had enough of lines and longed for something of the sit down and relax variety instead. We found our car without too much trouble... This time we kept our daughter with us and our friends wandered off to find their car, determining to drive over to us and exit the event together. So we sat and waited. My husband at some point opened his car door and climbed onto the sideboard of the van so as to locate our friends as soon as possible. That's when I noticed the car door next to him was open... There was a young woman looking straight at me through her open door/window apparently crouching on the other side. (This is difficult to explain and I wish I had a picture but frankly, I'm really glad I don't.) So I say to my son who is in the seat behind my husband on the drivers side, "Is that woman peeing over there?"... And my son looks directly out his window to see a free show in living color... And he says to me, "Gee thanks Mom for pointing THAT out!"... I just couldn't believe that not only were we roughly 100 ft. away from the nearest port o' potty but that this girl would choose to make eye contact with me, rather than stare straight at the ground or the inside of her car door while relieving herself... I apologized to my son because well, what else could I do. Fortunately my husband had his back turned to the girl the whole time and missed the show. He was far too busy with his desparate search for our friends, (who of course got lost for a while trying to find their vehicle) because there was nothing more important to my husband at that time than finally get the opportunity to leave this fiasco... Oh, did I mention it was HIS idea that we go to 'Punkin' Chunkin' in the first place?