Halloween - The proverbial broomstick in my side.
Yeah, I know the saying goes "Like a 'THORN' in my side, but since it's Halloween....
I HATE HALLOWEEN!!! Go ahead, send me your comments, especially you Julia with your posted treasure maps, meticulously laying out the route you intend to take through your neighborhood so as to reap the greatest haul of delectables! What Halloween trauma have you ever had to endure? To you, it's all about the candy... To me, it's all about the humiliation. JR knows what I'm talking about, dontch'a lil' buddy?
When I was 8 yrs. old I wanted nothing more in the world than to be either an Angel, a Princess or a Bride for Halloween. Angel was top of my list because it was all about the wings... Oh how I longed for a beautiful gown with gold cording around the bodice, a sparkling halo upon my curly hair and those most beautiful set of gossamer wings perched proudly on my shoulders... In my minds eye I just knew I would be the most beautiful Angel this world had ever seen (I was an extremely dramatic kid... Today they call 'em Drama Queen's, back then it was just considered being a pain in the ass!)
My step-mother had other ideas (insert evil music here)... It's no secret that she came into the marriage thinking me the most spoiled, obnoxious little attention hog she'd ever met... I was 7, gimme a break! So after nearly a year of being 'broken' like a wild horse she determined that she would not feed any dillusions I might have had of self beauty. She laughed at me and said, "You? An angel?" She told my dad that I couldn't be an angel because there was some hard and fast rule that you had to dress as scarey for Halloween and scarey it would be! She dyed an old hooded robe of mine black, handed me the kitchen broom and bought me a cheap 'Broom Hilda' mask, which I should note was ANYTHING but scarey... The only scarey part about it was that it made me feel like I was suffocating because of the tiny slit at the mouth and the pin-prick nose holes it provided for fresh air.
Every year it was the same thing, "A baby?... No, that's not scarey... This year you'll be a scarecrow!".... "A cheerleader?... Absolutely NOT!... This year you'll be a bum!" All those Halloween's and not once did I ever fulfill the dream of being something pretty. Some would say, "Go ahead, live the dream, get yourself an angel costume and go trick-or-treating this year!" But I have to tell you it just wouldn't be the same... Halloween sucks for a 42 yr. old angel... It just doesn't hold the magic that it would have for that little 8 yr. old.
I HATE HALLOWEEN!!! Go ahead, send me your comments, especially you Julia with your posted treasure maps, meticulously laying out the route you intend to take through your neighborhood so as to reap the greatest haul of delectables! What Halloween trauma have you ever had to endure? To you, it's all about the candy... To me, it's all about the humiliation. JR knows what I'm talking about, dontch'a lil' buddy?
When I was 8 yrs. old I wanted nothing more in the world than to be either an Angel, a Princess or a Bride for Halloween. Angel was top of my list because it was all about the wings... Oh how I longed for a beautiful gown with gold cording around the bodice, a sparkling halo upon my curly hair and those most beautiful set of gossamer wings perched proudly on my shoulders... In my minds eye I just knew I would be the most beautiful Angel this world had ever seen (I was an extremely dramatic kid... Today they call 'em Drama Queen's, back then it was just considered being a pain in the ass!)
My step-mother had other ideas (insert evil music here)... It's no secret that she came into the marriage thinking me the most spoiled, obnoxious little attention hog she'd ever met... I was 7, gimme a break! So after nearly a year of being 'broken' like a wild horse she determined that she would not feed any dillusions I might have had of self beauty. She laughed at me and said, "You? An angel?" She told my dad that I couldn't be an angel because there was some hard and fast rule that you had to dress as scarey for Halloween and scarey it would be! She dyed an old hooded robe of mine black, handed me the kitchen broom and bought me a cheap 'Broom Hilda' mask, which I should note was ANYTHING but scarey... The only scarey part about it was that it made me feel like I was suffocating because of the tiny slit at the mouth and the pin-prick nose holes it provided for fresh air.
Every year it was the same thing, "A baby?... No, that's not scarey... This year you'll be a scarecrow!".... "A cheerleader?... Absolutely NOT!... This year you'll be a bum!" All those Halloween's and not once did I ever fulfill the dream of being something pretty. Some would say, "Go ahead, live the dream, get yourself an angel costume and go trick-or-treating this year!" But I have to tell you it just wouldn't be the same... Halloween sucks for a 42 yr. old angel... It just doesn't hold the magic that it would have for that little 8 yr. old.
posted by EmBee at 10:18 AM
2 Comments:
clearly your stepmother never took off her own witches costume all your life...
still i say be a 42 year old angel. give yourself some joy.
Aww.. Now I can join you and JR in disliking Halloween because this year I'm not going trick or treating. I'm so depressed that I'm not even going to dress up.
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