Infinity Squared Times 2...

Welcome SITS friends, to my little corner of the blog o' sphere. I'm very excited to be selected as today's featured blogger. I look forward to sharing a chuckle or a perhaps an emotional connection in which you might say to yourself, "Are you kidding me, I look at the world in the same twisted way!" I know I've had that feeling reading your blogs and am continually amazed over all the things, we perfect strangers have in common.

I'm not sure when it all started but my daughter and I have a little ritual... When we say "I Love You" to eachother, the other will reply with "I Love You Infinity squared times two, can't get any higher!" I do remember how it started... You probably know the game, I love you... I love you too... I love you three...

You see, the Blystone family finds deep gratification in always trying to one up eachother (my kids get it from their dad who's always engaging his sister in the game of 'Anything you can do, I can do better' and I myself, have picked it up through years of observation) As for my daughter and I, our particular 'game' eventually evolved into 'Infinity squared times two' as the end all be all of highest attainable numbers... But just in case you're not sure if it's the highest number the "Can't get any higher!" was added to remove all doubt.

Our little saying used to be a really sweet sentiment but lately it's turned into a competition... As in not too long ago one of us would say "I Love You" and instead of saying "I Love You too"... We'd immediately in rapid fire unison nearly shout, "I Love You Infinity...etc." Now that's all well and good except we'd end with an argument over who said it first or who cheated and just uttered part of the phrase (usually me)... I tried for awhile to just concede by saying, "Me too!"... But my childish nature took over and I found it hard to take the gloating looks my daughter would toss my way as if to say, "I am SO superior and you can never best me!" So the "Me too!" line just doesn't provide me with much satisfaction.

Lately I've taken to saying the phrase as we wish eachother goodbye when I drop her off at school in the morning... I say it before she can even gather her things and begin to exit the vehicle... I say it because I don't like the feeling of being 'bested' by my thirteen year old. She usually follows up my sing-song phrase and my 'see, you can't beat me' smile with a furrowed brow, a slight frown and little or no reply depending on her mood.

So I ask myself... Why am I acting like this? Why can't it just go back to the sweet phrase uttered with real affection? Why am I letting this become a competition? I can only guess it's because my little girl is growing up, 'my baby.' I want to keep her small but on the other hand I want her to become a strong, independant young woman. On one hand I think I'm challenging her to be better, work a little harder... On the other hand I feel like I'm telling her, "I'm still in control and don't forget it!"

This morning when I dropped her off at school and she leaned in to kiss me and say goodbye I automatically said, "I love you infinity squared times two, can't get any higher!" She replied with, "I hate these car rides!" Most likely because it's the one time of day I'm able to win the 'game'... I've been up hours longer than her and am therefore thinking much quicker. Any other time of the day she wins... And I guess I really hope that she continues to win because a thirteen year old who wants to best her mother at telling her how much she loves her is more than I could've ever hoped or wished for.

*I wrote this post 2 yrs. ago. My daughter is 15 now. We don't play the game anymore but we still say I Love You every day.