Can you hear me now?

We have a wonderful friend 'B'... Who shall now and forever be referred to as 'Captain' because he's desparate for a boat that will take him from point A to point B and back again without breaking down...

Anyway, Our good friend 'Captain' has a hearing problem... As in, he doesn't do it very well. We love Captain but a typical conversation with the guy goes something like this:
Me: "Hiya Captain, how's it goin'?"
Captain: "Great! How 'bout you?"
Me: "Pretty good... Did you fix the boat yet?"
Captain: "Hmmm?"
Me: "I said, did you fix the boat yet?"
Captain: "Ah, no... I don't think I need a coat, it's pretty warm outside!"
Me: Deciding to just give up for now... "Ya, I guess you're right."
Captain: "Hmmm?... We're gonna go get a bite?... Who's all goin'?"

Anyway, we went to Captain's and his lovely wife L's for dinner last night and noticed he had a new accessory or should we say accessories... Captain had two rather large ear plugs sticking out of his ears that we later found out were hearing aides... They looked like 2 button mushrooms... In fact as I was clearing the remains of our shish-ka-bob dinner later I almost picked them up off the table to dispose of them in the trash... Thinking one of the kids didn't care for the veggies on their ka-bob.

As we were sitting and chatting, Captain shared with us that he'd gotten a great price on his new aides and they cost only $79.95!... But the really odd part of the deal was that they came in a package of 3 hearing aids. 3 hearing aides??? "What do you do with the third one?" his son asked. Captain with his lightning quick wit responded with... "I can't tell you but if I stand up I can hear you even better!"