Thursday, October 16, 2008


I'm still busier than a one legged Riverdancer but I just had to take a moment to spread the unmitigated pleasure that was my visit to the DMV.

I must first tell you that my son proposed a rather interesting bet. He challenged, that I wouldn't be able to make the DMV employee who would ultimately wait on me, smile. Seeing as I'm such a bright and sunny sort of person I took that bet and along with my sunny disposition, made my way across town, to the MVA (Maryland Vehicle Administration) building.

I'd like to state that a rather unprecedented thing happened when I arrived. I approached the front desk to state my business and was immediately sent to a cubicle for my lisence renewal... NO WAITING!!! I KNOW!!! As I approached the older, oh for now why don't I refer to him as 'Gentleman'... As I approached the 'gentleman' who was to wait on me, I instantly turned on the charm and approached him saying, "You were just waiting for me to get her I see." Taking a moment to unpurse his lips he grumbled something along the lines of, "Yes, Whatever or You got that right." I handed him my old lisence and before I could even consider letting my hair down from it's ponytail he told me to stand against the blue wall and snapped my picture.

Following what I knew was sure to be one of the worst photo sessions of my life I was asked to sit back down and look at the screen. Questions appeared on the touch screen faster than I could read them. When it got to the question regarding the 'Donor Program' I touched the yes button. That's when 'Mr. Congeniality' snapped, "What're you doin? I didn't tell you to touch the screen." I cheerily replied, "Well you didn't tell me NOT to!" After that I kept my hands in my lap as my host shook his head in disgust at having to babysit another moron. I was rather surprised when a question appeared on the screen which Mr. 'C' wanted an answer for. The question inquired as to whether I was employed. Why does the DMV need to know that, I wonder? Regardless I answered carefully and said with self-assurance. "I'm not employed outside the home, but am a Homemaker which is a job in and of itself." That's when Mr. Congeniality slipped from the 'Gentleman at the DMV' to that 'Asshole at the DMV.' His reply to my answer of employement? "That's NO job, all you do is sit around all day, load a dishwasher, maybe fold some laundry and watch soap operas."

He said WHAT?

Now you think I would've crawled across the desk, grabbed him by the collar and twisted 'til his face turned blue... But no. I instead looked at him with a sly smile and replied, "Oh, you don't really believe that DO you?... In fact, I rarely even watch t.v." He never even broke a smile as he said, "Sure you all do, you watch things like 'As the world turns' right?" Interesting that HE knew the name of a particular soap opera. Still, firmly embedded in my charming mode, even as I struggled not to bite a hole through my tongue, I said, "No, I keep busy with things like homework." "HOMEWORK?" he said, "What are you studying?" "Algebra and inter-personal relationships." I replied, though he cut me off before I could even finish my reply. "ALGEBRA? Why would anyone want to study ALGEBRA?" He said, spitting out the words as though the mere taste of them were foul upon his tongue. Maintaining my half-glass-full disposition I said, "Why, to exercise the brain of course and to build analytical thinking." I added, "Don't you believe too many people today dwell in their emotions, that we're a part of an 'It's all about me' society?" He wasn't even listening, he just continued to be confounded by the idea of 'Algebra'... My guess is he didn't do very well in this particular subject.

'Round about this point of our 'less than pleasant' conversation, I had
passed my eye-exam and swiped my credit card. That's when the guy, formerly known as 'Gentleman' leaned back in his chair, graced me with one last grumpy sneer and handing me my new license said, "Your done."

I walked out of there having lost not only 10 good minutes of my life but also the bet with my son. And to add insult to injury, the picture on my new lisence makes ME look like the 'Pinhead.'

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Blogger scargosun said...

I have to tell you I was just about to turn my attention back to work when I saw the title and also "DMV" I had to put off work for a few minutes. OMG! He did not say that! Asshat...perfect

10:32 AM, October 16, 2008  
Blogger Keeper Of All Things said...

One legged Riverdancer? Thats effin hilarious!!!!

11:09 AM, October 16, 2008  
Blogger lime said...

well honey, you get all sorts of points from me for not emasculating that insulting asshole and handing him his bloody nads in a mangled pile. what utter gall and disrespect. at the very least you should report him to a supervisor. there is no excuse for that sort of derision directed at someone they are supposed to be serving.

12:02 PM, October 16, 2008  
Blogger Belle (from Life of a...) said...

A one-legged Riverdancer...LOL LOL LOL...that is SO funny. I've never heard that one before!I can't wait to use it on my boss.

4:27 PM, October 16, 2008  
Blogger paestar said...

you are a better person than me, i would have told that guy exactly what i thought of him!!!! what an a-hole!!

7:04 PM, October 16, 2008  
Blogger Stacie said...

Oh you're a MUCH better person than I am. I'd have snapped and they'd have had to stop the whole re-licensing process to bury one of their own because seriously? I'd have killed the guy. Or at the very least, keyed his car on the way out! ;P


9:23 AM, October 17, 2008  
Blogger santamaker said...

OmG...that's sooo sad! That stupid jerk needs to be reported! At least you tried to keep a positive attitude..... They really don't hire the brightest crayons in the box, do they?

9:44 PM, October 17, 2008  

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