Monday, September 27, 2010

Smells Like BBQ!

Big day today folks!

I got my braces off... But like most things in my life, it's rather anti-climatic. You see, I imagine things in my head to be so much more wonderful then they actually turn out to be... Bummer right?

So yeah, the whole removing of the braces was rather uncomfortable... It's kind of like having each tooth put in a vice in order to pry off the tiny adhered bracket... The technician clamps it, then pulls And then SNAP! Your tooth vibrates for a while with the force. After the removal of the brackets a Dremmel like object is used to sand off the excess bracket glue. I've never had the pleasure of a root canal but at times, it kinda feels like their sanding the root of your tooth off... Hmmm, fun!

Oh, and somewhere in the midst of the removal, a permanent wire was placed behind my bottom teeth... An interesting fete of engineering which involved floss to hold it in place and an extra pair of hands. And now I feel like I've got this big bulky sand papery thing in the bottom of my mouth that my tongue just can't seem to leave alone. *damn tongue*

So I saw my teeth briefly before 'IT' happened...

You see, I have (not very surprisingly) THICK GUMS!!! And why not, I mean everything else about me is THICK! So my orthodontist recommended I have some of my gum tissue removed, for cosmetic purposes. And because I AM that vane, I said, "Go for it!" Because I mean, why go through a year and a half of orthodontia only to have people notice your gums instead of your teeth?

So after my braces came off I had 'Laser Gum Surgery'... This procedure involves having your gums painted with a numbing gel and then having them shaved back with a laser. It's like Star Wars meets......... Well, if I could think of a famous dentist I would... But I can't. Anywho, while the laser is burning away the gum tissue, there's a smell that begins to fill your nostrils and I can only describe it as BBQ... But it's BBQ without the seasonings and sauce and the funkiest kind of meat you can imagine. Trouble is, now (3 hours later) I just can't seem to get that smell out of my sinuses and no matter what I eat or how many times I brush my teeth, my mouth still tastes like death.*

As for appearance... I won't even show my husband what my newly unclad orthodontia looks like because my gums are so hideously grotesque! Imagine if you will, allowing your dental hygienist clean your teeth with a X-acto knife instead of that metal pick she normally uses. The doctor says it should clear up in a few days, so until then, I'm the sullen looking gal over there in the corner.

*I tell you all these things dear Internet, because I couldn't find ANY description of the procedure ANYWHERE when I went looking for it. So if YOU happened upon this blog because you were searching 'Laser Gum Surgery' for more information... There you go and You're Welcome!

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Blogger Katy said...


I hope you can at least DRINK while you're recovering! Maybe vodka will get the taste out.

BBQ gums. *shudder* That's gonna give me nightmares for sure.

Will you post before and after pics of your smile when you're all healed up? My kids love love love to look at their before and after braces pics. :)

Get better.


3:35 PM, September 27, 2010  
Blogger lime said...

egads, it sounds like a miserable procedure.

like star wars meets the steve martin dentist character in little shop of horrors, perhaps?

7:17 AM, September 28, 2010  
Blogger EmBee said...

Gums are ALL better now... Thanks!

I should be getting a copy of my new mouth photos this week. I'll try to scan and post them... Only because I too can appreciate a good before and after illustration.

11:55 AM, November 10, 2010  
Blogger EmBee said...

Hey Lime, Exactly like the dentist from Little Shop of Horrors and maybe a bit more like the finale 'Popcorn' scene in 'Real Genius' then Star Wars. *hee*

11:57 AM, November 10, 2010  

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