Kids And Their Toys...

Irene's post regarding her son and his mutiliation of toys brought to mind my days of playing with Barbie's. When my step-sisters and I had our 'Peyton Place' at the Barbie Beach House.

One year I was the unfortunate recipient of a 'Quick-Curl Francie doll' for my birthday. I'd love to share a picture so I looked on ebay, but all I could find was Francie's dress because, well... because there can't possibly be a 'Quick Curl Francie doll' left on the face of the earth that even remotely resembles a Barbie per se. The only way to keep this babes hair intact would be to never even attempt to remove her from the original package and kids who are capable of that kind of restraint just don't deserve a doll nor the title of 'Kid'.

Here's Francie's Dress:

I did locate this 'Quick Curl Barbie' photo and you can just tell by the look on her face, she's mighty pissed about the bad hair day she's had to put up with since 1974.

However, in comparison to my 'Quick Curl Francie' this chick has the hair of a goddess. For you see, 'Quick Curl' meant that Barbie's regular synthetic hair was infused with wire so you could roll it around the little plastic phallyic symbol (shown above) and like a 'Vidal Sassoon' curling iron it would viola' hold the style. Try it more than once though and the wire kinked beyond belief 'til all you had was a medusa thing going on.

Unlike Barbie, who as we all know is eternally perky and was blessed with the shape of no other woman on earth, with the exception of maybe Pam Anderson... Francie was the poor underdeveloped cousin who would spend the whole of her life loathing that bitch Barbie. I mean, shouldn't their familial genes at least play some part in HER womanly growth... Yeah, their faces looked almost exactly alike but the boobs... Where were the boobs? Poor Francie got short-changed in the mammory department. So, what's a girl to do who's hair has gone way beyond the stage of 'Bride of Frankenstein' and can't fill anyone's clothes except for little 'Skipper' and only the blouses at that. I'll tell you what she does... She goes Butch!

I wish I had pictures of poor Francie with her shaved, barely there hair and her less than feminine attire as she ended up barrowing most of her oversized clothes from Ken. Alas, in those days the idea of a phone with the capability of taking actual photos and sending them via airspace was so H.G. Wells, we would've never thought it even conceivable. We just kept holding out hope that one day we'd be able to watch movies while on long car trips... 'Cause I mean, if they could put a man on the moon... Why couldn't I watch 'The Incredible Mr. Limpet' on my way to Grandma's in Podunk, Kansas? But I digress... So with the 'Outing' of our girl Francie, our little Barbie world got a WHOLE lot more interesting. If only the writers over at 'General Hospital' would've accepted our scripts I think we could've made their show so much more interesting.

Thanks Mattel for that whole Quick Curl idea... You have no idea the impact you made on my 10 yr. old world. I received my education on social dynamics via a world with 1 Ken, 3 Barbie's and a lesbian Francie.