'Stuff'

Saturday was Community Yard Sale day... I HATE Yard Sales, especially my own. There's nothing more humiliating to me than placing what was once a much loved treasure on a table in my driveway, then have some cheap dipstick pick it up with a smidge of interest and a face full of disgust and ask me, "How much?" Only to roll there eyes and drop said item like a hot potato, after I quote them a price 30 times less than what I paid for it... Then there's the folks who can't even take the time to exit their vehicle... These folks simply go for the slo-mo drive by and sneer... As if to say, "Keep movin' Cletus, thar aint nothin' but shit here!"

HOWEVER, the yard sale we had this Saturday wasn't quite as bad because according to a lot of the people who stopped by, we had "Some nice stuff!" Particularly my friend Lori's 'stuff'... I should mention that the people who complimented our 'stuff' always had their backs to my particular table laden with cast-off gems whenever they tossed out compliments, but I didn't take it personally, oh no, not me.

It's unfortunate that the yard sale was necessary for my friend Lori to try to sell off items belonging to her mother who was recently moved to a small room at an Alzheimer's facility... Quite simply there's just no room for all of the antiques, doo-dads, hoo-haws and whatnots...

BUT!

I found something that I'm holding near and dear to my heart for ever and ever... Lori bestowed it on my without even having to pay for it, even though I would've been happy to give her my left foot for such a treasure... Behold, my 'Big Tittied, Finely Crafted, Sexy, Rubber, Belly Dancer Doll'

Crank the little rod in her base and she undulates the top half of her body. Is she not glorious? True, her breasts appear to have been fondled one too many times by someone with dirty, dirty hands and probably a dirty, dirty mind too, but I think a bit of mild soap and water will clean her up nicely.


Oh, and the other treasure I picked among the 'stuff'... I say, 'STUFF' because that's what Lori insisted on calling it... I however, referred to it all as 'Shit' or 'Crap'... But it's true that one mans 'Shit', 'Crap' or even 'Stuff' can be another mans 'Treasure' and this, this I consider a treasure simply for the joke factor...
So if anyone wants to prank call me, I'll be able to say "YES, I HAVE Prince Albert in a Can! and NO, I won't let him out!"