Friday, July 21, 2006

Humidity - 73%

I HATE Humidity!

I understand that doesn't make me in any way unique... Don't we ALL hate humidity? But I'm from California guys... L.A. in fact... Where the weather is arid and the temperatures mild. I remember the first time I was introduced to humidity... I was 12 and had just flown into Chicago on a summer day when the skies were dark and overcast. It looked to me like it must be quite cold out there beyond the doors of the O'Hare terminals... I was shocked when I walked outside and had the distinct feeling that someone had thrown an invisible blanket over my head... What was this? I could only compare it to having a pan of cold water thrown in my face but this water was hot and it was suffocating me!

Now I live in the East, and I'm still not fully adapted to the draining effects of humidity... Is anyone really able to adapt to it?... And during my visit to California I had to laugh out loud when the newscaster whined about the humidity levels sapping everyones strength... The height of humidity there reached 14%... But that's okay guys, I didn't know what real humidity was until I came East and I'm guessing I still don't really understand how truly terrible it can be until I live in the South.

So as I was walking this morning... (I'm trying to get out extra early (6:30am) so as to avoid the powerful sun and it's withering effects.) I began thinking about the worst jobs to have during the heat and humidity of summer... Here's my list from Bad to Worst:

UPS Delivery Person - (I almost said 'Delivery Guy' but that wouldn't be very PC now would it?) These people don't even have doors on the side of their truck... Or if the do, they just keep them open so they can move faster... Having to drive around all day, NO A/C... But stepping in and out of shops and offices just long enough to get a sweet, sweet taste of the cool air they're missing... That sucks!

Carpenter - Namely the guys that are framing the houses that are being built in our neighborhood... They may be inside BUT there's little circulation and there's dust and dirt flying everywhere... I imagine you sweat so badly that the sawdust just sticks to you and forms a nice paste by the end of the day... Ugh!

Roofer - No doubt that tar paper and dark shingles absorb heat... I can't imagine how they keep from fainting and falling right off... I assume that hydration is the key to survival on this job.

Road Construction Crew- At least the roofer is up high where he might catch a passing breeze... Not so for the Road Construction folks... I believe the breezes they usually catch are supplied by exhaust from the cars of frustrated drivers who toss around angry glares due to the inconvenience of having to sit in their air conditioned vehicle for an extra 8-10 minutes (unless they're working for UPS and they don't have that a/c thing working for them... But come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen an angry UPS guy.)

Garbage Man - (I'm sure they're out there... but folks, I've NEVER seen a Garbage Woman.) The ICK factor for these guys in the summer must be enormous... I had some uncooked chicken waste in my garbage can last week that turned the entire garage into an area that could not be traversed without fighting back the urge to gag!... And that was just MY garbage... Can you imagine running across that time and again?... And some folks don't even bag that crap!

BUT THE VERY WORST...

Port O' Potty Waste Management - I've come upon this guy on my early morning walks through the construction site... Seems he's also desirous of getting out early before the sun gets too high in the sky... In case you're not familiar with it... This guy drives around a truck (similar to an oil delivery truck) that you don't want to be down-wind of on a hot summer day... (believe me, I was and we're talking FOUL in the very worst sense.) But to see the guy carry out this job is truly a horrifying experience... I couldn't EVEN imagine having to carry out the task and I can only hope it pays really, REALLY WELL!... What he does is remove a gas pump type hose from the side of his tank like truck and open the door of the 'Potty' and shove the pump into the bowl and suck up all that's located within... I never saw the guys face who I watched carry out this task and I surely hope he didn't catch a glimpse of the look of utter disgust on mine as I watched him pull out the gas pump like nozzle covered with, well you know what... And fit it back into the slot on the side of his truck. Now that... THAT has to be the worst, I mean, THE VERY WORST job on a hot summer day!... Well, ANY day of the year for that matter.

4 Comments:

Blogger lime said...

oh man. i think you have truly come up with a hideous though accurate list there. may i add one....we have a guy in out county who spends 40 hrs a week driving around picking up deer carcasses from the side of the road. i think your portapotti guy is still #1 (and #@) on the gross list but the roadkil guy has to make the list too.

7:43 AM, July 22, 2006  
Blogger EmBee said...

I've gotta admit Lime... That's a pretty hideous job... Let's put him just above the 'Port o' Potty' guy.

<:^(

9:46 AM, July 22, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mild temperatures in California????
I don't think so. We've been experiencing temperatures from 112-116 degrees over the past 5 days with no end in sight. We have a crew of landscapers working in it every day. All I can do to show my care and concern is to keep taking them bottles of ice cold water. I may be saving lives, don't you think?

12:59 AM, July 25, 2006  
Blogger EmBee said...

But Linda... It's a DRY heat!

And

Hooray for you for saving lives... You're such a sweetheart.

10:30 AM, July 25, 2006  

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