HOT Yoga!

My friend Heather signed me up for yoga classes... Heather LOVES yoga! Heather LIVES yoga! Heather IS yoga!... Oh, did I mention that Heather is like a size 2, was a dancer, studied gymnastics and can probably wrap both legs around her head without a second thought? Then there's me, I'm like a size 18, working my way up to a 20, though I'm still squishing myself into those size 16 jeans (ouch!) I've never danced. Well, I've danced but you know, never took lessons... So I just kinda let the music move me, however lame that must look. As for gymnastics? Well, in high school I almost achieved what might be considered a cartwheel... Yeah Me! But I never did acquire enough balance to stand on my head. So NOW I'm gonna try Yoga? And not just ANY yoga... HOT Yoga!... And by HOT Yoga, I don't mean the kind of Yoga that ends up making you look HOT in a sexy way... I mean Bikram style Yoga... Yoga that's done in a 90-100 degree room! And Heather decided we should do this 2 nights a week in JULY for 4 weeks because it just might not be uncomfortable enough for me this summer, you know, with the heat and all?

I can't even TELL you how excited Heather is about this whole thing... So excited that she's got her husband signed up for the class WITH US!?! So now I don't have to worry about humiliating myself in front of just Heather... Oh, and the instructor... And the other people in the class... But ALSO Heather's husband, who I currently happen to be working on an interior design project for. I like Heather's husband and I have a great deal of respect for him so I hope he won't mind when I set up my yoga mat on the very far corner of the room from where he'll be Yoga'ing.

Heather isn't letting me go into this without some form of preparation though... She generously gifted me with the dvd 'Yoga for Dummies'... This after she heard the story of my trial with the 'Rodney Yee Yoga' dvd collection that was given to me about 5 yrs. ago for Christmas. I held out for a couple of years before I broke the seal on the package... Then it took me a week more before I actually popped the disc into the machine and took the mat I also received out of its package. Then I sat on my mat all yoga style... Ah, who am I kidding, I couldn't sit even kindegarten indian style for more than 15 seconds without my legs seizing up! So I simply sat on the mat and watched this asian man with an awesomely toned body and an equally awesome braid down his back, perform stances that quite literally made my jaw drop. There was NO WAY in hell I was going to keep up with Rodney Yee! I did however give the 'lay flat on your back, relax and sink into the floor pose my best attempt... That's when I saw the discolored mark on my bedroom ceiling and realized our 4 yr. old house had a water leak... That was the end of the relaxation portion of my Yoga with Rodney Yee... And I never did Yoga again.

So, if you will... Think of me on July 9th as I drag my butt with perky Heather and *groan* her poor husband over to my first Bikram Yoga class... Where I'll be sweatin' my ass off and trying to perform something that might look like this...

Or This...

Or God forbid This...

You know, it would really help if I looked more like this...