Not for the Squeamish... Including ME!
So, what's new you ask?
Well, I've pretty much been awake since around 2:00am.
Why, you say? Are you ill? Are the kids okay? What's wrong? You ask.
Well, two things actually... I love my dog and I'm trying to save the carpet.
Let me explain...
Yesterday afternoon my daughter pointed out an anomaly with our dogs er, um, butt... There, I said it... Butt, her BUTT! Nothing too terrible, just kind of swollen. I'd been meaning to contact a vet in our area who, I heard, does house calls and since our 'Anna' needs to have her shots updated I thought I'd give their office a call. I was instructed to leave a message which went something like this:
"Hi, my name is _____________, I'm the owner of a 9 yr. old psychotic lab who needs a check-up could you please return my call so we can set up an appointment."
When the gal called me back she was already laughing. While I had her on the phone I mentioned that not only did Anna need her shots but something seemed to going on with her uh, Butt. The receptionist asked me if she'd ever experienced problems with her 'anal glands'... "Uh, gee NO, we've had her since she was a puppy... Nope, never heard anyone mention her 'Anal Glands' before now." The receptionist told me the doctor would check it out when she came for the visit.
Fast forward to roughly 7:00pm last night... My daughter, who apparently spends more time than the rest of us checking out our dogs er, um, Butt... Points out the now bulbous dark red thing protruding out of poor Anna's backside. Are you wincing yet? Because I am still... In fact, my face has frozen into a perpetual wince... It's not pretty folks... None of this is! So I decide to search the web for more information and find this. (warning: click at your own risk. For you also may incur a perpetual wince.)
So last night I went to bed trying to put the image of poor Anna's butt out of my head so I could get some sleep.
Fast forward to 2:00am, when I hear a knock upon my bedroom door and my son says, "Mom, you better take a look at Anna, she's bleeding all over the place." Ahhhhhh CRAP! I shot out of bed and went straight to my sons room, where Anna likes to sleep at night. She indeed had blood on her backside, though the sack (thank heaven) hadn't ruptured. So my son and I laid an old blanket on the floor for her, but not before she sat her bloody but on the beige carpet. So, 2:00am janitorial services were required. Now here's the part about how much I love my dog. I grabbed my pillow from my room, made a pile of blankets next to Anna and lay down beside her and rubbed her head and her belly for the rest of the night... Well, until 6:30, that's when she decided she just couldn't handle not being in her favorite morning spot... Against the sliding glass door off the deck keeping a lookout for rogue squirrels.
I think I dozed a couple of times but mainly I spent that early morning hours trying my best to keep her from licking herself. If she's given a chance to keep worrying that thing it's going to burst and then we'll REALLY have a mess on our hands.... Ha, Ha, HA,! I said, WE... We'll really have a mess... Like anybody else around here would clean it up! HA, HA, HA!
So here I am, sitting, watch over my dog... Anytime she even moves her head I tell her "NO, don't lick!" She keeps giving me a look that says, "Would you just leave me the hell alone already!" The vet is scheduled to visit at 4:00pm but I don't know if I can wait that long, so I intend to call at a reasonable hour, is 9:00am too early? My dog has the canine equivalent of a HUGE, NASTY Hemorrhoid and I can't stop wincing!... HELP!
Note: That's a picture of Anna at the top of the page. I really couldn't bear the thought of taking a pic of her while she feels so miserable... I most certainly wouldn't want anyone taking one of my under similar circumstances.
UPDATE: We've been to the local VCA as recommended by the home visiting vet and Anna does indeed have an impacted anal gland. She now sports a trimly shaved bottom and has been administered antibiotics... Along with some pills which she'll receive wrapped in cheese (See Anna, every dark cloud DOES have a silver lining!) The real challenge now is trying to keep her in the kitchen on the tile floor and off the carpets throughout the rest of the house. If you know me and the layout of my house... Well, you can understand just how difficult this is going to be. btw: I'm becoming a regular Florence Nightingale as I have the delicate job of administering warm compresses to my dogs ass until the swelling goes down... Yay ME!
Well, I've pretty much been awake since around 2:00am.
Why, you say? Are you ill? Are the kids okay? What's wrong? You ask.
Well, two things actually... I love my dog and I'm trying to save the carpet.
Let me explain...
Yesterday afternoon my daughter pointed out an anomaly with our dogs er, um, butt... There, I said it... Butt, her BUTT! Nothing too terrible, just kind of swollen. I'd been meaning to contact a vet in our area who, I heard, does house calls and since our 'Anna' needs to have her shots updated I thought I'd give their office a call. I was instructed to leave a message which went something like this:
"Hi, my name is _____________, I'm the owner of a 9 yr. old psychotic lab who needs a check-up could you please return my call so we can set up an appointment."
When the gal called me back she was already laughing. While I had her on the phone I mentioned that not only did Anna need her shots but something seemed to going on with her uh, Butt. The receptionist asked me if she'd ever experienced problems with her 'anal glands'... "Uh, gee NO, we've had her since she was a puppy... Nope, never heard anyone mention her 'Anal Glands' before now." The receptionist told me the doctor would check it out when she came for the visit.
Fast forward to roughly 7:00pm last night... My daughter, who apparently spends more time than the rest of us checking out our dogs er, um, Butt... Points out the now bulbous dark red thing protruding out of poor Anna's backside. Are you wincing yet? Because I am still... In fact, my face has frozen into a perpetual wince... It's not pretty folks... None of this is! So I decide to search the web for more information and find this. (warning: click at your own risk. For you also may incur a perpetual wince.)
So last night I went to bed trying to put the image of poor Anna's butt out of my head so I could get some sleep.
Fast forward to 2:00am, when I hear a knock upon my bedroom door and my son says, "Mom, you better take a look at Anna, she's bleeding all over the place." Ahhhhhh CRAP! I shot out of bed and went straight to my sons room, where Anna likes to sleep at night. She indeed had blood on her backside, though the sack (thank heaven) hadn't ruptured. So my son and I laid an old blanket on the floor for her, but not before she sat her bloody but on the beige carpet. So, 2:00am janitorial services were required. Now here's the part about how much I love my dog. I grabbed my pillow from my room, made a pile of blankets next to Anna and lay down beside her and rubbed her head and her belly for the rest of the night... Well, until 6:30, that's when she decided she just couldn't handle not being in her favorite morning spot... Against the sliding glass door off the deck keeping a lookout for rogue squirrels.
I think I dozed a couple of times but mainly I spent that early morning hours trying my best to keep her from licking herself. If she's given a chance to keep worrying that thing it's going to burst and then we'll REALLY have a mess on our hands.... Ha, Ha, HA,! I said, WE... We'll really have a mess... Like anybody else around here would clean it up! HA, HA, HA!
So here I am, sitting, watch over my dog... Anytime she even moves her head I tell her "NO, don't lick!" She keeps giving me a look that says, "Would you just leave me the hell alone already!" The vet is scheduled to visit at 4:00pm but I don't know if I can wait that long, so I intend to call at a reasonable hour, is 9:00am too early? My dog has the canine equivalent of a HUGE, NASTY Hemorrhoid and I can't stop wincing!... HELP!
Note: That's a picture of Anna at the top of the page. I really couldn't bear the thought of taking a pic of her while she feels so miserable... I most certainly wouldn't want anyone taking one of my under similar circumstances.
UPDATE: We've been to the local VCA as recommended by the home visiting vet and Anna does indeed have an impacted anal gland. She now sports a trimly shaved bottom and has been administered antibiotics... Along with some pills which she'll receive wrapped in cheese (See Anna, every dark cloud DOES have a silver lining!) The real challenge now is trying to keep her in the kitchen on the tile floor and off the carpets throughout the rest of the house. If you know me and the layout of my house... Well, you can understand just how difficult this is going to be. btw: I'm becoming a regular Florence Nightingale as I have the delicate job of administering warm compresses to my dogs ass until the swelling goes down... Yay ME!
Labels: absurdities, Anna Banana, Health
posted by EmBee at 6:44 AM
14 Comments:
eew eew eew eww eww eww eww eww eww eww eeeeeeeewwwwwwwww!
LOL Amy, but for every time you just said eew... I've said at least a thousand times more!
good lord, that sounds horridly painful for the dog and just plain horrid for you.
Poor Anna, Poor YOU! But you are so very funny!
And how's her butt looking now? LOL...that sucks (for her and you.) My dog has needed his anal glands drained before (the vet or the groomer does it, and apparently it's a pretty common occurance)but no infection. You know it needs to be done b/c the dog will have the foulest, nastiest, fish odor imagineable, and you can barely breathe through it. YUCK!
Poor Anna...Lucky she has such a great Mommy! :) I would have done the same thing...maybe not blogged about it...but I would have slept on the floor and dutifully used the warm compresses! ;)
My dog has chronic anal gland problems. He's needed surgery twice in the past couple of years. Not good times. The good news is, it seems to be a relatively easy problem to cure. Hope Anna is okay!
hey embee.....would you email me? i am going to be in you rneck of the woods next week ;)
mountainlime (at) gmail (dot)com
Poor Anna .... hope she's feeling better now.
And you are such a good mummy :-)
Thanks for all your nice comments... Well, except for Amy, who just rubbed in the grossness of the whole situation.
I'd say Anna is doing fine but her poor red hiney looks as swollen and bloody as ever. I gave her the antibiotics wrapped in cheese this morning and administered a warm compress... And someone just shoot me now! :-( .... And I'm DEFINITELY having my carpets cleaned after this is all over!
Dude...that's all I can say! You are a great dog mama for hanging in there with Anna! I found you via SITS and this post is sooo worth it. Our ADHD german shepherd is the bain of my existence, but she's just like that crazy relative that you love b/c they're family. Hope Anna and your carpet are doing better!
Missy, thanks for stopping by :-)
If our Anna was a German Shepherd instead of a Lab I would think our dogs were related... Because the way you described your dog sounds distinctly similar to the psycho creature we call our dog.
She's a sweetheart, but afraid of just about EVERYTHING... Fireworks, thunderstorms, The dark, her own tail... I could go on. Eccentric Aunt would be a pretty spot on description.
I so feel your pain...our lab mix had one of those lovely impacted glands last spring. I freaked out, and had to manage taking the dog to the vet with a 2 year old and a baby. I would've loved a visiting vet! We also had to go back every 2 weeks until we were in the clear. They offered to teach me how to express the glands, and I almost vomitted right there in the clinic at the mere thought. Um, no thanks, we'll all just schlep in and let a pro take care of that!
Anyway, hope all is well with Anna's butt now!
Debbie, OH PLEASE don't tell me I'm going to have to start squeezing my dogs anal glands... I'd rather die! She is however doing much better now thanks! In fact she goes in for a check-up tomorrow. The home visiting vet informed me that she wasn't equipped for Anna's 'problem' and recommended a local VCA. So I'll be schlepping her there... Just grateful I have a 15 yr. old daughter help me wrangle the dog. I can't imagine trying to wrangle both a 2 yr. old AND the dog... You poor thing!
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