Friday, August 15, 2008

Have I told you how much I hate clay?

I've spent the last few days trying to improve the look of my front yard... Well, I should add my daughter has played an immense part in the process. In fact, if it were up to me I'd probably put a pot of mums on the porch and be done with it, that would include forgetting the water the damn things. 'Nature Girl' on the other hand has grandiose plans to turn our humble front yard into an arboretum of National proportions. Money and experience withstanding, I'm just hoping the havoc we have brought upon this little slice of Maryland, won't give our home a post holocaust appearance.

Monday we played Terminator on the ugly bush/tree that obscures our front porch the majority of season. We also bade a fond farewell to three scraggly azaleas and bushwhacked some hostas which were having a bad year.

I know, it all sounds so simple doesn't it? EASY, like digging the Panama Canal with a teaspoon!!!
You see, we don't have soil... Soil? What's Soil?... We have clay!... Ground so hard and compact it's like trying to dig up solid rock... Oh, and we have a lot of that too! Most of the clay is the color of a baby's diaper who has eaten far too many carrots and sweet potatoes (trust me, I know!) but every so often we'd hit a spot of white clay the color and consistency of really old silly putty. None of this "soil" is conducive to plants so my sister-in-law aka 'The Gardening Guru', recommended we add some manure to the bed and "work it into the soil." We started out at 8:30 this morning and spent the better part of the day busting our collective asses, trying to make a heavenly bed for the new plants we invested in during our trip to the nursery yesterday.

I'll try to post some pictures later but right now every part of my body hurts... Well, maybe everything except my eyelashes, wait, no, those hurt too.

So tomorrow we're going to be finishing up... Yea, you heard me, we're not done. There's still a side bed to finish planting... Crap!... We're NOT done! *weeping* I HATE clay!

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Blogger kiddiesandkitties said...

Yes, clay SUCKS! Maybe when nature girl is done with your bed she can come and make mine!

12:42 PM, August 16, 2008  
Blogger EmBee said...

Hi Kiddies&kitties... I regret to inform you that 'Nature Girl' is not a loaner... Mostly because SHE considers us a TEAM and after we finish this particular project, THIS team member, will by crying "Uncle!"

1:10 PM, August 16, 2008  
Blogger Heather said...

Oh, we have 100% CLAY for soil at our house, too! It is the WOOOOORST!!! We "amend" the heck out of our planting beds, with peat moss, manure, even sand in some places "to improve drainage" ha ha ha, but unless we're willing to dig down to the Earth's core, we can never amend the soil deep enough.

It is so sad. I'm seriously going to inquire and take into account the soil type of the yard of the next house we buy. I've fought against the clay for almost 9 years now and most of the time, the clay wins. Sob!


7:51 AM, August 20, 2008  
Blogger Kelley said...

Are you from the south? Because I grew up in south Georgia and EVERYTHING was clay. I didn't know soil was actually supposed to be in the ground, I thought it was something that you just bought in a bag.

(I also wanted to say that I looked at your profile and I hated She's Come Undone too!!! I never understood why people liked that book. Worst book ever.)

10:17 AM, August 20, 2008  
Blogger EmBee said...

Hi Heather, since my daughter is the one who suggested this 'Landscaping Project' I have to tell you she said the same exact things about moving and making absolutely sure she has a soils test done before we're allowed to consider the property... Not that we're moving any time soon.

Hi Kelley, I do live below the Mason-Dixon Line but only about a mile from it. So if you consider Maryland the south, (which I doubt a lot of southerns do) then I guess you could say yes... However, they don't sell a lot of sweet-tea in these parts... So probably not!

And yes, let's keep spreading the world about 'She's Come Undone', No one should be able to write that crap and get away with it!

9:29 PM, August 20, 2008  

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