Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Wal-Mart Hilarity

I swear there is nothing in the world more FUN than going to Wal-Mart with my son.

Here are a few of his recent observations:

In front of the Wal-Mart Superstore sits several of those (what I consider) hideous blow up lawn figures. One of which, an obscenely large egg-shaped snowman is lying on it's back, with the large orifice at the base facing out to the parking lot.

Zak's comment: "Niiiiicce, nothing like a snowman's giant bung hole to spread warm holiday greetings."

Inside the Wal-mart we are searching for more cashews as my husband and son quickly polished off the can I'd purchased just the other day.

Me: "Hmmmm? I can't remember where they keep the nuts? Where are the nuts, where ARE the nuts?"

Zak: "Mom, we're in Wal-Mart, do you even NEED to ask that question?"

As we wander around searching for the 'Cashews' we pass by an elderly woman shuffling along with her cart and overhear her talking to her adolescent grandson beside her.

Grandma says: "You need to let me know what the name of that game is you want for Christmas, so I can buy it in Delaware."

(Side note here: Delaware is the home of tax-free shopping and what is it with people giving up on the magic of the Christmas surprise?)

Grandson answers VERY condescendingly: "GRANDma, It's CALLED 'Smackdown' Feel The Pain." (picture this comment followed by a very large and obnoxious eye-roll.)

My son and I spent the next half hour mimicing this conversation. I almost peed my pants 3 of those times.

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5 Comments:

Blogger scargosun said...

OMG. I totally know what you mean when you talked about the blow up stuff laying on it's side or back. I have often thought the same thing your son did.

10:45 AM, December 10, 2008  
Blogger lime said...

i can't stand going to walmart but i think if i could go with zak it would be worth it to brave the unleashed lunacy.

2:53 PM, December 10, 2008  
Blogger Stacie said...

Your son and I would have fun shopping I think, we share a similar sense of humor that my kids are embarrassed by.

I wonder how much gas that lady's going to spend driving to some store in delaware to get it probably only a dollar cheaper...even if it's a 15-20 minute drive, she's spending several dollars in gas just to get there and back to save a dollar on tax...people crack me up.

4:59 PM, December 10, 2008  
Blogger Chris said...

Zak rocks!

Happy Warm Bungholes to you and yours! (can't you just see that Hallmark card?)

8:11 PM, December 10, 2008  
Blogger EmBee said...

Hiya Scar,
It's nice to know that because of you, there's going to be one less yard out there with giant balloon crap on the lawn.

Lime, Wal-Mart with Zak is better than attending a live comedy show. Also a thought provoking study into human nature or possibly gene pool dynamics.

Hey Stacie,
Yes, I do believe the two of you share a similar sense of the absurd. You'd have a blast!
As for Delaware? We and the Wal-Mart are less than a mile from the state line, so most people shop the big ticket items in the land of tax-free shopping.

Hey Chris,
I'll tell Zak you think so. He'll love it!
I'll start working on the illustration to submit to Hallmark as soon as I get the chance. :-)

8:47 AM, December 12, 2008  

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