Valentine

Note: I hate calling it V-day because it sounds like a disease.

So yesterday was Valentine's Day and I thought to myself, "Here I sit just perusing Facebook and bopping around on the web, why not post something on the long forgotten blog?" So here I am.... Posting, that is.

Valentine's day for our family is mostly understated. There's never a BIG romantic dinner out, sometimes roses but not always, usually a card from that guy I sleep with every night and Chicken Rolls.

Chicken Rolls? Yes, Chicken Rolls, the most time consuming, dirty dish inducing, recipe in my repertoire, which of course makes it the family favorite. So, I show my undying affection for those I love each and every Valentine's Day by slaving away in the kitchen. I should add it's also the one day out of the entire year in which I set the table with crystal, china and linens. 'Cause it's nice to be classy at least one day out of the year.

Now I wouldn't say my family has come to expect their favorite meal and all it's fanciness and you know why? Because every single year I manage to convince them it's just not happening because I have any number of other things on my plate (on my plate! see how I did that?) And every year they look at me with a mild expression which scarcely manages to hide their disappointment and say, "That's okay Mom, I (we) understand." It's always a joy to witness the fist pumps when they realize I've come through, despite the scheduling conflicts.

But you know something... This whole fancy dinner thing is getting SO much harder to pull off now that we're each running in a different direction. With a soon to be 18 and 21 yr. old in the house and me with an ever changing schedule at the shop, it's a wonder I can manage a 'Family Dinner' at least one day out of the week, which has always been a huge priority until recently.

I have to say that last night lacked the luster our Valentine's Dinners normally hold as 'Computer Boy' had to work until 9:00. So there were only the three of us and a wrapped up plate in the fridge, which tends to lose a little bit of it's flavor when it's reheated in the microwave and the only one at the table at 9:30pm is your mom watching you eat. Kudos to the boy for not complaining.

Maybe next year when he's away at college we'll go out for one of those fancy restaurant meals and I can forgo the Chicken Roll kitchen massacre. Oh wait, that's right, we won't have any money for things like that when he's in college... Hellloooooo, Chicken Rolls.

Dusting off the cobwebs

Well hellloooo there! *crickets chirping*

I know, it's been like a zillion years since I last posted but hey, it's not like I was going for some sort of bloggers medal or anything, it's just that there's this thing called 'TIME' which seems to be a rather hot commodity in this household these days... 'Cause I mean to tell ya, there's all kinds of crazy *&%# that's gone done since I last posted.

Let's see, where to start..... For one, I became a business owner, that's right, ME! Can you EVEN believe it? Because I sure can't! To be completely honest I must tell you I'm not the sole owner of the business. In fact, I'm in business with 5 of the most beautiful, amazingly bright and talented women on the planet! (yes, I know there are more of you but hey, your not my business partners so you'll just have to deal with second best.)

So here's the story... On January 3rd we went down to Baltimore and filed for a LLC under the new name of that artists co-op I once told you about. And yes, believe it or not, it's still afloat!... Who knew? So yes, I'm pleased to announce:

The Palette & The Page, LLC

You can check out our snazzy website and read all about it here: The Palette & The Page
We're also on Facebook!

The Long and Winding Road, indeed Mr. McCartney! The trip that I've been on with this endeavor since Nov. 2009, has been anything but smooth but now it feels as though everything is beginning to fall into place, mostly due to those AMAZING women I mentioned earlier.

In other news, since the last time I blogged, 'Computer Boy' became gainfully employed by that big red & white office supply company so many of us know and love. 'Computer Boy' is, of course, a 'Tech Support' and let's just say he provides the 'EASY' for the customers. Things seem to be going well with the job and all but after only a few weeks there he came home and announced he had NO plans of working for 'the big red office supply store his whole life'... He was DEFINITELY going to college!

Which leads me to my next bit of news... It's a bit premature because there's still some hoops which need to be jumped through but 'Computer Boy' is hoping to get accepted to a school on the other side of the earth... Uh, I mean country! It just SEEMS like it's on the other side of the earth. 'Computer Boy' is in LOVE with a school in Redmond, Washington which he and I went to visit back in November... And I have to tell you, with all of his computing experience, I can't think of a better school for him. In fact, it's highly doubtful there's any place on the planet he'd be happier. So he's gotten the SAT's under his belt and now he's working with a tutor on Pre-Calc in order to prep for the CLEP test he'll need to take before too long. Oh, and there's also the matter of a couple of essays he needs to write... But I'm not supposed to mention that because I'm like his mom, ya know, and I'm not supposed to be telling him what to do and when to do it, ya know... Because he's like, old enough to make these decisions on his own... But if it were me, and I desperately wanted to get into the school of my dreams... I'd TOTALLY have those essays in by now.... I'm just sayin'.

'Nature Girl' continues to rock the photography world. Her Smug Mug website continues to grow and the big news is she'll be featured for the month of June and the Syracuse Library in Syracuse, New York. If your interested, here's the link to her Smug Mug site and if you like her work and have some time, Please leave her a comment... Things like that make her head swell to biblical proportions and contribute to her drive to be the BEST!

Oh, and I guess I should mention my husband... He's working REALLY hard because after all, we've got the cost of a college education looming ahead.

So there you have it! WHAT?... That wasn't enough for you?.... Sheesh!

Rush Hour!

There wasn't much to do on Friday after we attended the Admissions Interview and checked out apartments for THE SCHOOL. So I looked to Computer Boy and he said, "I know, let's go to Krispy Kreme!" (Seriously, the boy is a Krispy Kreme addict, especially since they closed the chain in our part of the country.)

I thought sure, why not, don't have anything else to do but sit in out hotel room. So Computer Boy plugged in the coordinates to our GPS and away we.... SAT... In traffic... Bumper to Bumper... On our way to DOWNTOWN SEATTLE AT 5:00 in the evening! But that's cool, it's not like we had anyplace we had to be. It's just that trying to navigate rush hour traffic with a GPS that tells you to stay right and at the next block informs you to turn left, which in fact is 3 lanes over... Well, let's just say it can be a bit daunting.

And just to add insult to injury, as we got closer to our destination, the GPS would update us by saying, ".5 miles to Krispy Kreme Doe-NOTS on left."

My reply, "Listen bitch, DON'T judge!"

That Trip...

So you know that trip Computer Boy and I took to Redmond, Washington?

It was FRIGGIN' AWESOME!!!

But I'm not going to say any more about that until he meets his prerequisites and gets accepted. He didn't even want me to buy him a school t-shirt for fear it might jinx it.

But here's my favorite line from the weekend:

Setting - Open House weekend, after listening to a school adviser talk to a room of roughly 80 people at which time I raised my hand and asked a few questions.

Me: I hope I didn't embarrass you at all by asking questions.

Computer Boy: No, not really.

Me: That's good because I really wouldn't want to embarrass you.

Computer Boy: Thanks, I know it's hard for you.

Funny But Oh SO True...

Late at night 'Computer Boy' scours the inner-nets for stuff to amuse me.

The link is pure comedic gold, mostly because there's great humor in simple truth.

Enjoy!
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/printers

Crazy Heart

'Computer Boy'.... My first born.... My 'Boy'.... is preparing to apply to a school.

A school on the other side of the WORLD!!! Okay, maybe I exaggerate a bit but we live in Maryland and his choice?.... DigiPen in Redmond, Washington.

(Enter Chandler impression here) I mean, CAN he GET any further from home?

Regardless, next week he and I will be flying to Seattle to check out the school, attend the Open House and get a 'feel' for the area, housing situation and all the pieces of the puzzle we'll need to discover and figure how to fit together, for living life thousands of miles from home.

It sounds a lot like I'm thinking in the 'When' instead of the 'If' but that's because 'Computer Boy' has spent the last several months researching schools and he's determined to do whatever it takes to get accepted to THIS school.

What does this mean for me, the Mom? My heart is all over the place... Thrilled beyond belief for the possibilities the future holds for my 'boy'... Nervous! I mean, what if he blows a hole in his other lung 2800 miles from home? But the one thing that keeps spinning around in my brain, the one thing that both thrills me and terrifies me is the fact that following the 4 yrs. of rigorous education in RTIS (Real Time Interactive Simulation), he'll be snapped up for employment, the same 2800 miles from home, because Seattle is 'home' to the computer gaming industry.... I see frequent flier miles in our future.

The Boomerang Story

So we were at the beach last week and the resident teens allowed me to sit in on their pow-wow... They were playing the 'psychic' game (trying to guess what playing card the other person was holding from the deck of 52, yeah... it was rainy, they were bored!) Anyway, Chloe guessed the card on the first try, quite by accident I might add. So that's when I told her, "Pack up your briefcase and go home!" Not literally of course, because that would be mean but she looked at me quizzically and said, "Huh?"

So I told her the boomerang story, which I'll share with you now... And who knows, maybe YOU'LL have a brand new euphemism!

True Story:
My husband and my father-in-law used to design and build their own boomerangs. And on a side note, their picture once hung in the Smithsonian Museum of Air & Space in Washington D.C.... Really! I kid you not... Of course the picture had like a hundred other people in it because it was taken at a boomerang throwing competition on the Mall in D.C. (I know we're such geeks, keep it to yourself though.)

Anywho, they (husband and his dad) got really good at throwing boomerangs. By good I mean, they could throw them out a good long distance and they would come back relatively near to where they were standing when they threw them. Hey, it's not as easy as you might think.

Well, my father-in-law would tell his co-workers about the boomerangs he was creating and they kept hounding him to bring one in to work sometime and give them a demonstration. So one day 'Dad' showed up with a boomerang in his briefcase. At the end of the business day he led a group of men out to the large field alongside the building where they worked. You can just imagine the men eager with anticipation to see this handmade item, hewed out of Lexan, in Ol' Jerry's basement, actually take flight. So Dad set his briefcase on the grass, carefully lifted the lid and withdrew his mighty handmade boomerang. Without saying a word he drew back his arm and flung the boomerang into the air with all he had. The boomerang whizzed through the air in a high arc, spinning in circles as it made its way around the field. And then, something magical happened... The boomerang came back to the spot where Dad's briefcase lay open on the grass. It hung in the air spinning for a brief moment and then dropped squarely into the briefcase, the centrifugal force left within it, just strong enough to bring the lid of the briefcase down on top of it.

Dad's co-workers were agog! They'd never seen anything like it and Dad, knowing they'd never see anything like it EVER again, because even HE didn't believe it... Without a word, closed up his briefcase and went home.

The Teens loved hearing this tale and I think the retelling of it even made me cool among them for a while.

So the other night my son and I were watching a movie together. In the movie, one of the characters carries in a box of 'Krispy Kreme' donuts. Now there are few things in life my son loves more than Krispy Kreme... His computer maybe, but that's about it. But I digress... Anyway, he turns to me with drool dripping off his lower lip and says, "Oh man how I wish I had some Krispy Kreme donuts right now." Unbeknownst to him, I had purchased some KKD's the day before for an event at the shop. And yes, there were a few left over which I had brought home. So I looked at him and said, "They're over there on the counter." Just the fact that there were donuts on the counter at all was a minor miracle but the fact that they were Krispy Kreme's was in fact equivalent to the parting of the red sea because I just don't buy KKD's on any kind of a regular basis.

So my son sees the box... Looks at me with a smile bigger than the whole outdoors and says, "No Way!!!... Pack up your briefcase and go home!"

And he's driving?

Today Computer Boy made plans to take a friend to the movies... But I had to work at the shop. So, a momentous occasion took place... My boy drove ME to MY destination, dropped me off (actually dropped US off, Nature Girl has been joining me at the shop), and drove away... by himself... alone... on his own... at the helm... Of MY van *sniff*

The tears? They're not so much the milestone my son has reached... They're really about my inner control freak screaming at the loss of... well, CONTROL!

Late in the afternoon my boy called my cell and the conversation went something like this:

Me: "Hey!"

Son: "Hey!"

Me: "So, how was the movie?"

Son: "Great! So, where are you?"

Me: "Ummmmm, you have the car SOoooooooo, I'm.... right.... where.... you.... left.... me. "

You know, it's really difficult to WRITE sarcasm but that's how I roll... So it's no wonder I have it dished up in heaping bowls full by my own children.

Overdressed?

Computer Boy attended a meeting in town with me today. He came along as my representative. His job was to make sure I didn't volunteer for anything and if so, he had permission to smack me upside the head... By the way...Ouch! my head hurts.

Anywho, following the meeting I asked if he'd like Burger King for lunch, "my treat!" (What a stupid question... It would be a cold day in hell before my boy would ever turn down a king size order of chicken fries.) Since I was 'dressed up' for the meeting we attended, he jokingly asked me if I thought I was overdressed for Burger King. I looked at him, sitting there beside me in the van, dressed in an old t-shirt and a pair of jeans the likes of which, I have absolutely no idea when they'd last seen a spin cycle, and I asked, "I don't know, do you think YOU might be overdressed for Burger King?"

Damn Crooked House

So the other night, 'Computer Boy' was loading the fridge with soda cans, when the sodas shifted within the oblong carton on the counter and began tumbling to the floor, one.... after.... the... other. 'Computer Boy' was quite obviously frustrated and said, "Well this wouldn't have happened if this entire house wasn't on a slant!" I said, "What?" and began laughing.

I could tell by the smirk on his face, he knew very well he was just making an excuse for the accidental soda drop but it still didn't stop him from locating a marble to see if it would roll off the counter, which it didn't so consider that myth BUSTED!

I'm Trying.... I'm REEeeeAaaaalllllLLLYY Trying

So the boy still doesn't have his drivers license... The reason being, he has to accrue 60 hours of driving time before he's able to apply.

60 HOURS!!!

Yes, he needs the practice but dammit, I'm the one riding shotgun 99.9% of the time!

I'll say it again...

60 HOURS!!!

Today he was driving to school and was nearing the point where he needed to make a right turn.... but.... he.... was.... STILL... IN.... THE.... LEFT.... LANE!!! I had made a pact with myself when getting in the passenger seat of the car that I would NOT say ANYTHING during THIS trip.
a) Because I sound too controlling.
b) He's got to make responsible decisions for himself.

So here we are... STILL IN THE LEFT LANE... When my daughter says, "Hey, aren't you going to get over?" and yes, I couldn't help myself, I immediately echoed her words.

That's when he went, "Huh? Uh, Oh yeah... I forgot where I was going."

?????????????????????????????????????????????

He of the Million Dollar Mouth

I just wrote a check to the dentist for $780.00

Seems if you get your wisdom teeth out and get your teeth cleaned in the same year? You max out your dental coverage for that year. So when my son had to have 4 cavities filled at, get this, $195.00 EACH!, the bill comes out of our pocket.

Further proof that our kids will be living with us forever because there's NO way they're going to be able pay to take care of their teeth... Of course, if you've ever seen some of the folks who live in our county?... You might come to the understanding that dental health isn't deemed all that important around here.Yep, I think they're going to fit right in.

Ignorance of the law is not a defense...

Yesterday we joined our friends from TNS summer camp for a trip to Rehoboth Beach. This is an activity we've taken part in each August for the last several years. And let me say here, I enjoy the company but the actual sand, heat, bath house grunge and boardwalk thing don't, for me, equal a Good Time.

*I bitch a lot about the opportunities I'm given to go to interesting places, don't I?... I'm sorry, but that's just how it is... I'm a snob when it comes to cleanliness and creature comforts.

I make this trip every year because, like I said before, I enjoy the time spent with nice people... and because extra drivers are a necessity... also, because my kids really enjoy it. Having said that, there was an element to our trip yesterday which wasn't all that enjoyable... Especially for my son... He had another run in with the police. (what is it with that boy?) Oh, I just realized I didn't blog the story of his run in with the law back in March... Long story but the gist is he was picked up an taken to the police station, in the back of a squad car, for sitting blindfolded 10 ft. off the side of a road.... Which ISN'T illegal but when a cop gets a little freaked and you don't answer his questions fast enough, and said cop thinks teenagers are ALL degenerates... Well, that's reason enough to take you down to the station.

Anywho, last night, not 4 minutes after we made our way onto the boardwalk, I look over to see my son standing there with an officer breathing down his neck and an outstretched hand saying, "Give me the laser pointer." Seems my brilliant and light obsessed son was showing off his laser pointer to a few of his friends. He wasn't doing anything as nefarious as aiming the beam into the eyes of oncoming tourists, he was merely shining the light on the nearby dune reeds in order to display the unique patterns that resulted. However, when a cop sees a teen with a laser pointer it MUST be confiscated. It's the LAW! I've been searching the web but I'm hard pressed to find the actual ordinance... However, if a uniformed police officer tells you to hand over an object that is illegal, I guess you don't have much choice but, to do just that, hand it over.

I couldn't help but get involved as I watched my son give the officer his $80 pointer. EIGHTY DOLLARS??? Yes, E-I-G-H-T-Y $$$!!! He bought it with his own money a few months back and yes, I thought it was a stupid purchase but it's his money. So anyhow, I piped up and said, "Bud, isn't that a really expensive item?" And he replied with, "Yes, yes it is, it cost me $80." The officer then turned to me and said, "Are you the parent, I didn't realize he had a parent right here." Like I guess that makes a big difference because it somehow makes the illegal act MY fault... The boy is 19, but yeah, he looks like he's 16, so I guess that makes me responsible. After a brief conversation with the officer about my son knowing to never point his laser pointer at anyone or in anyone's eyes, the officer graciously gave me the laser pointer to 'hold' but kept the batteries. Seems fair right? I mean, my son did break the law... A law which he had NO idea existed but like the title of this post, 'Ignorance of the law is not a defense'... One can still be held accountable for a law broken even though one didn't know it existed.

So here's the rub... And you just knew there was one, right? Turns out, the Rehoboth boardwalk is rife with laser pointers. Seriously, you know that commercial where all the diabetic test strips rain down from the sky, fill the gutters and slip down the sewers? Well, Rehoboth boardwalk is like that with laser pointers. Rehoboth boardwalk is the freakin' Katrina of laser pointers. For a town with an ordinance to BAN laser pointers, they're sure liberal with handing them out. I watched to 30 something year old guys play an arcade game which awarded them BOTH a laser pointer in a matter of 3 minutes... And what did they do when the machine spat out their prizes? Well of course they opened them up, popped in the batteries and trained their beams on one another and the arcade walls around them. While walking down the boardwalk I got hit with so many red and green beams of light, I might as well have been playing laser tag... But where are the cops then?

So let this be a lesson to you folks... Life, it's just not fair and sometimes it's just plain inappropriate, like the parents we watched, who stopped and paid the henna vendor to create a design on the lower back of their 8'ish year old daughter... That's right, a 'Tramp Stamp' on a girl who isn't even out of grade school! When she's 10 maybe her mommy will buy her a stripper pole. Perhaps that's who the officer should've been reprimanding.

F#@&ing laser pointer!

Just a few more gray hairs...

Yesterday my bachelor buddy and I took a drive down to the Swedish particle board wonderland that is known as Ikea. Since our neighbor from Sweden is just an hour down the interstate, this seemed the perfect opportunity for 'Computer Boy' to log some driving time... Not to mention the chance to jockey for lane positions with a plethora of 18 wheelers.

It should be noted, the boy had driven on the interstate only once prior to our trip yesterday and that was with his driver's training instructor... So needless to say, this was going to be a first for ME.

Things started off a little rocky when he nearly missed the turn to get to the interstate. A turn our family has taken umty-gajillion times! But I guess if you're a passive passenger like my son, you tend not to notice things like, where the vehicle is taking you at any given time.

I should also mention that our trip TO the interstate had the added joy of being tailed by an irate driver who didn't much like the fact that my son was unwilling to IMMEDIATLY turn right at that red light. Thanks for the horn dude, like this trip wasn't stressful enough already.... Aye Carumba! I made a mental note to, in the future, always try to be tolerant of other drivers.

Anywho, our trip down the interstate was blessedly uneventful but that still didn't manage to allow for relaxing even one muscle in my body... Remember? Control FREAK!

Now the problem with getting to Ikea FROM the interstate, is that one must cross 3 lanes of traffic almost immediately after exiting. How does one teach a new driver how to merge across heavy traffic coming at you from behind? I don't know and I wasn't ready to try. So I had him make a right at the light and then make a U'y.

Once we were in IKEA we sat on a couch for 10 minutes so we could just TRY to relax. Apparently I make him tense... Really? Who knew? After a tour through the labyrinth that is IKEA we ate ourselves some Swedish meatballs and I began to mentally prepare myself for the ride home. Initially he said he was too tired and asked me to drive. I tried not to display any visible signs of relief, but then he changed his mind. So then I tried not to display any visible signs of stress.

I didn't mention this earlier but to get to IKEA, one must drive across the 'Millard E. Tydings Memorial Bridge', a bridge that spans the Susquenhana River and to anyone who might be a bit squeamish about high bridges, it's a terrifying ordeal to cross. Was I tense going over it southbound? You bet! Was I tense going over it northbound? Well I was pretty much okay when we were in the center lane but when the boy changed lanes... mid-span... for no apparent reason... to the slow lane... the lane right up against the guardrail... which is FAR TOO CLOSE to a certain drop of death to the river below... Well I was Freakin' TERRIFIED!!! Especially since the boy has a habit of riding the right side of a lane marking. Now because I didn't want to make any sudden moves or comments which could result in him losing focus... We're talking CRITICAL focus... I somehow shakily peeped up with, "Could you move to the center of the lane more, puhleeeeeeaaassee!" You know, I think he made that lane change on purpose!

Good news though, I lived to blog about it.

It's Like Magic

The Scene -
Getting ready to watch a video with 'Computer Boy.'

The Dialogue -
Between a boy and his mom.

Computer Boy: "Where's the remote for the dvd player?"

Me: "Um, I don't know, I haven't seen it in a while."

Computer Boy (after sitting in the same spot for roughly 5 minutes, announces): "That's SO frustrating, I've looked everywhere and don't know where the dvd remote can possibly be?"

Me: "You've looked EVERYWHERE?.... Are you kidding me, you haven't moved from that spot."

Computer Boy: "No, but I'm thinking about where it COULD be."

Me: Looking under the coffee table I spy the missing remote, grab it and hand it to Computer Boy along with a major eye roll.

Computer Boy: "See, I knew it would come to me."

Passenger Seat Hell

*If you eventually read this son, I'm sorry. I just couldn't hold the angst in any longer so I'm putting out to the universe.

He's completed the 'Instruction' part of the Driver's Training School. Now he's on to the actual 'Driver's Training' and that's all well and good, as long as I don't have to play the role of 'Instructor.' I know he wants to practice... I know he needs to practice... It's just the Practicing that's got me all tied up in knots.

It's become obvious that I just don't have what it takes to sit silently and let the learning take it's course. I'm a control freak... Doesn't he know that... A Control FREAK! So when he stops a half-mile short of the stop sign, I want to say, "Why are you stopping HERE, a half-mile from the stop sign?" And when he turns a corner while shuffling his hands along the steering wheel, I want to say, "Haven't you EVER paid attention to how Dad and I steer when we drive?"... Or when he creeps down the road with a line of cars stacked up behind him... Or when he took that turn too fast... Or that other turn too slow?... Or when he made that turn yesterday going the wrong way on the divided street and then yelled at me because I told him to go left without pointing out the street was in fact divided, even though this surely wasn't the first time he'd been on that street, how was I to know it was the first time he'd actually been paying attention?

I try to relax and not pay too much attention, even sit back and close my eyes, you know? I mean, I doubt he's at the point where he's going to hit anyone, but he's definitely at the point where he's most certainly annoying 99% of the other drivers on the road. But he's gotta learn, right? He's gotta learn. And I have to just stick a pin in it, in order to keep myself from going off... But DAMN, it's not easy for a Control Freak like me.

*Shaking head* Nope, it sure aint easy, for a Control Freak like me.

Whack A Rug

It's clean-up week at the kids school. They actually finished out the year last Friday but this year, as with every other year they've been at the school, they're going in for clean-up week.

However, one thing is a little different this year. This year, they've decided on their own to go in and help out. In years past, I've told them they had to go because it was their responsibility and their duty as students of the school. Yeah, I'm such a drill sergeant. But then, yesterday the boy said, "You know, I think I might just stay home today." His sister glowered at him and he looked to me. I think I handled it pretty well when I said, "Well, I think you have to ask yourself why you're bothering to go in at all." Then I looked at my daughter and said, "I think the same question applies to you also." She said, "Because it's my school and it's my responsibility to help clean it up... And it's nice really, going in and helping out, scrubbing a wall and watching it come clean and being with friends." The boy didn't say anything more than, "Yeah, I'm going in today."

When I picked them up yesterday, late afternoon, amidst a hellacious thunderstorm, they were full of smiles. They told me they spent the day "Whacking rugs" (I think that's beating rugs, but call it what you will.) My daughter explained how they tossed each rug over the deck railing and 'whacked' one side, turned it over and 'whacked' the other side. She said, "You wouldn't believe the dust and dirt that came out!" (Oh yes, I would!) Then my son cracked me up with this observation:

"Whack a Rug, it's like Whack a Mole, only way easier, more repetitive, but less satisfying."

Brrrrrrr!

Does it feel somehow... Colder to you folks?
I'd swear I feel a chill in the air.
Because I'm quite sure hell froze over.

Remember at the end of last school year when I posted this open letter to my kids?
Well the note seemed to work and the summer went pretty well actually.
As with any 'challenge or change' that takes place, situations tend to ebb and flow. Sometimes the trash gets taken out without asking and sometimes attitude and surliness reigns.

Today though... Today I'm just shaking my head... Shaking my head AND smiling.
'Computer Boy'... Yeah, that kid I gave birth to who was mostly terrified of anything dirty... The kid that in pre-school when asked to finger paint, would come home with a large piece of paper with a happy face drawn on with pencil. The kid who on 'paint with pudding day' completed a work of art which consisted of 5 small finger-tip dots. Which was the best his teacher could get him to commit to. The same boy who, to this very day, goes through more anti-bacterial hand sanitizer than the entire nursing staff at the local hospital.... Anyway, that boy woke at 6:30am this morning to assist in planting seedlings at the CSA (Community Sponsored Agriculture) site, a group of friends from his school are starting. My husband and I were shocked when he came home last week wet and dirty after planting for hours in the rain. When 'Nature Girl' said she didn't know what the big deal was I looked at her, mouth agape and said, "Big deal? Why that would be like you rolling around in raw chicken!" (she has a terrible squeamishness for raw meat or half eaten food left on a plate... I highly doubt she'll ever make it as a waitress... But then there's this thing with the son, so who knows?)

So if the whole 'Boy waking up at dawn' thing didn't knock the earth of its axis a little... As I was doing my hair and make-up this morning, I heard the clattering of dishes in the kitchen downstairs. Yes, 'Nature Girl' was down there, completely of her own volition, emptying the dishwasher and loading it with the breakfast dishes in the sink??????

It's colder right?

Airport Security and the Absent Minded Boy

Did I already tell this story? Well I did, but I don't think I told it here and today's post over at the House of Lime brought it back to mind.

I find the pressure of getting on a plane and being flying a very minimal thing as compared to the angst of going through airport security. Why? It's such a high pressure situation. An, 'am I doing everything correctly so as not to piss anyone off' task. Believe me, there are a LOT of people you can piss of. To name a few, The security personnel (there's a lot of them), The people in line behind you (a lot of them too!) and sometimes even the people in front of you (don't accidentally push their things around, they'll snap at you like hungry gators.) I ALWAYS try, maybe too hard to be as amiable as possible... Let's face it, I'm a people pleaser and people who make a raucous horrify me.

So, there we are heading out to California, going through airport security. Since my son is a bit too old to have his mom fishing through his pockets to make sure he's emptied them of all paraphernalia, I trusted him to 'know what to do.' However, we are talking about the classic example of 'The Absent-Minded Professor' here... A boy who is very often completely detached from the circumstances surrounding him. So, this is what it looked like:

Security Guy to Son: "Step forward please."

Son: *steps forward*

*beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*

Security Guy to Son: "Son, do you have a belt on."

Son: "Um, yeah.... Uh, wait... I think it might be my PDA."

Me off to the side, safely through security: "Are you kidding me?"

You see, I just couldn't believe that he would go through all the measures of placing his lap-top in a bin, removing his shoes, placing his back-pack on the conveyor belt and then FORGET he had an electronic device IN HIS POCKET!

Why should it bother me so? It's this lingering sense of responsibility, that I know I really should let go but just can't because I'm such a control freak.

Fast forward to 10 days later when we're at LAX getting ready to go through security. I tell the boy to have his i.d. ready and ask him if he's taken his PDA out of his pocket.

Son: *feels pants pockets and says* "Uh, yeah... yeah I did." *feels jacket pockets* "But wait, I didn't take my extendable fork out of my jacket?

Me: *with a great sense of horror* "YOU WHAT?... Are you freakin' kidding me?"

I mean, I could only surmise what they might do to you if you're carrying around a projecting fork? Couldn't you put out a pilots eye with something like that and take over an entire airplane? They've pulled people out of line for nail clippers... What would they do to someone carrying an extendable fork?

So the boy gives me that 'Don't have a cow Mom' face and begins to empty his pockets of the nefarious fork and a screwdriver/wrench thing he carries around... And after that, I just quite watching... And I'll just quickly mention that he DIDN'T have his i.d. OUT of his wallet and ready like I told him, which resulted in a 15 minute argument about what having your i.d. OUT really means.

Screwdriver Wrenches, Extending Forks, PDA's and any other symbols of possible terrorist activity aside, the boy obviously made it through security and safely home but I swear I have seen at LEAST 16 new gray hairs as a result.

From the Humor Dept.

As it pertains to blogging, I'm always in love with a NEW idea and this one just tickles my funny bone:

http://crabbyoldfart.wordpress.com/

And since my son is closing in on 6' 2" and much to my dismay, can comfortably rest his chin on the top of my head, I dedicate the following post to him.


http://crabbyoldfart.wordpress.com/2009/04/17/god-damned-giant-teenagers-get-my-goat/