Monday, January 05, 2009

Excellent Weight Loss Routine

For those of you who are searching for a NO FAIL weight loss routine... The answer is RIGHT HERE at The Paper Treehouse (whodathunk?)

This is all you need:
  • A full length mirror - A large mirror will do. I don't happen to have a full length mirror but I DO have a mirror that covers nearly an entire wall over the counter in my bathroom.
  • A chair - Place the chair in front of the mirror. I didn't need a chair, I used the bathroom counter.
  • Strip down to your birthday suit - Yes, this means 'Get Naked'
  • Now lean against the chair or the counter, allowing all manner of gut and girth to hang loosely. Once you've assumed this position, look into the mirror.
Trust me, you'll never want to eat again!

Addendum: If you do feel the urge to succumb to any fat or calorie laden food, simply use your powers of recollection to bring to mind the above exercise.

P.S. That money you were going to waste at the gym? Just send it to me.

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Blogger lime said...

the post holiday numbers on the scale are depressing enough, tyvm.

my problem is i get bummed about it then console myself with food. how's that for self-defeating?

1:36 PM, January 06, 2009  
Blogger EmBee said...

That's the way I felt 'through' the holidays Lime... I was SO far gone off of any mindful healthy routine, I just kept eating and making everything worse. I'm currently working diligently to wrestle that monkey off my back... And damn it, if he doesn't have a strong grip.

9:38 AM, January 07, 2009  
Blogger Whiskeymarie said...

I caught myself in my unders under fluorescent lights in a fitting room the other day.

I believe this is where the phrase "scared straight" comes from.
Scary. Very scary...

And my word verification is "bumber". I think it's mocking me.

7:01 PM, January 07, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Margie, I love the visual (of me, not you). Actually, I hate it.
I wish "laughing my ass off" was, in fact, a possibility. Alas, all the laughing I could muster up did not one damn thing to remove any ass or gut, or arms or legs, or chins, or back fat, or .......the good news is fat keeps wrinkles filled out. How's that for the power of positive thinking?
Your buddy in CA - LJ

2:19 AM, January 16, 2009  
Blogger EmBee said...

I know Linda, I've tried 'Freezing my ass off' and that isn't working either.

That thing about wrinkles... So true! My sister is like a size 5 and she's WAY more wrinkled than I... If I had my way though, I'd trade my smooth skin for the skinny ass any day!

10:56 AM, January 16, 2009  

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