No more anger.... Just, sadness

Today was our second summons to court in the case of 'Bike thief Boy.'

I swore to myself, that if he didn't appear today I was planning to search each and every house in this neighborhood until I found him and then drag him down to courthouse by his ear, myself. I didn't have to though, he showed today, in handcuffs... Someone else was given the responsibility to drag him in, against his will... and with that knowledge my anger melted away and puddled at my feet, making my feet all squishy in my shoes. All that was left was a deep feeling of sorrow. Sorrow for a boy who is in much more trouble than stealing a bicycle. Sorrow for a family who have more than likely experienced disappointment far greater than anything I've ever had to deal with.

But it wasn't just 'Bike thief Boy' that made me sad. In the States Attorney's office there was heartbreak in the form of a tiny 14 yr. old girl, who tried to appear tough until the attorney in the hallway announced the defendant in her trial was going to plead guilty of the sexual assault charges. I tried with all my might to appear focused in the book I was reading, but out of the corner of my eye I could see her bravado fade away and hear her trying to stifle sniffles and fight back tears. I wondered why her mom wasn't with her at that very moment, wrapping her small frame in protective and loving arms. Even after, the woman I perceived to be the young girls mother finished speaking with the attorney, there were no demonstrations of sympathy. She just asked if the girl wanted to go outside and walk around a bit. Maybe that was when the hugs were provided, I hope so anyway.

The other sadness that filled my heart, came from a family who entered the office just after my daughter and I took our seats. A mother with her face hardened by anger. A father with a now and again smile, as if trying to somehow diffuse his simmering wife. A daughter roughly 12 yrs. old and a son probably 15 yrs. old, who was quite obviously the reason behind his mother's ire. It was hard to figure this woman out, because when she walked into the little waiting room she greeted everyone with a sunny, "Good morning!" After which she appeared to display a great fury she could barely suppress as sat down on the bench next to me, across from her family in an obvious huff. She grabbed a nearby magazine, looked at her son and said, "You know, I'd much rather be shopping right now!" (well duh, wouldn't anybody?) Her son seemed to be working hard to maintain his blank expression but every time I glanced at him, I could see fear behind his eyes, eyes which appeared to be just shy of welling up. Though he tried hard not to show it, the skin on his face and neck were mottled with the redness of embarrassment. At one point while his mother flicked madly through the magazine she said, "OH GOOD, here's something WE could use... Navy!" She tore out a card and set it between us on the bench. I waited a moment and then glanced away from my book to the card on the bench and confirmed it was a Navy recruiting card. The woman continued to seethe as her son stared blankly. The dad looked helpless and the girl bored.

As I sat there pretending to read, I tried to put myself in this mothers situation. I don't know what the boy was in trouble for but I tried to imagine what my son could do that would make me treat him with such contempt. Maybe this wasn't the boys first time here? For some reason I didn't have that impression though. I think someone who had been through the court system before might look more bored. This boy looked scared... really scared behind that blank expression.

Later when we were downstairs, outside the courtroom, my daughter and I were seated in chairs directly across from the family. The mother would periodically get up from her chair and walk up and down the hall. The dad would give his son a look every so often which seemed to convey "I know, she's pissed, so sorry for you." Eventually an attorney stood before the family with his back to us. He said something about a plea bargain and stated, "Sometimes these things end up in the paper and conclusions are drawn, conclusions that could affect his future and we don't want that." At which the mother said, "But he'll be held accountable? I want him held accountable!" The attorney merely nodded and left. I hoped the boy wasn't in too much trouble. I also hoped he had someone in his life that would say, "What you did was wrong but regardless you are loved." I got the impression he didn't hear that very often and wondered if that might not be the reason he was in this situation.

We all continued to wait in the hallway outside the courtroom. After re-reading the paragraph in my book for the 5th time our caseworker exited the courtroom and informed me that 'Bike thief Boy' had plead guilty, he'd been ordered never to come near our home again and was being taken into custody. I looked at her sadly and said, "My guess is, he's in much more trouble than just a stolen bike." She said, "Yes, yes he is." I told her I was sorry for him and his family. She thanked both my daughter and myself for coming in a second time and told us we were free to go.

I left the courthouse with two thoughts. I thought about what a heartbreaking place it could be. The effect we have on each other by the choices we make. The effect we have on our own family by actions big or small. The other thing that made a big impression on me were the people who worked at the courthouse. From our caseworker, an older woman with a businesslike attitude but a warm and generous nature. To the bailiff, a large black woman who reminded me of Queen Latifah. The last time we were in court I watched her in the courtroom greet 5 teens who had been lead into the courtroom in shackles. A couple of the kids looked frightened and she greeted them with an infectious smile and light commentary on how nice Mr. Smith looks today (one of the young men in shackles who was dressed in a suit.) Maybe I'm wrong but I don't think kids in trouble need to be treated like mongrels and I was pleased to see that the people I came across treated everyone they worked with like human beings.

I hope the boy who walked into our garage and walked away with a bicycle, finds compassion from those he's dealing with now. I know I'm not angry anymore, just sad.

Grrrrrrr!

Guess who had a visit from the sheriff and was handed ANOTHER subpoena to appear in court AGAIN?

That's right, my daughter and I get to drag our tired asses, at the butt-crack of dawn, back to the courthouse, at the end of the month. It seems 'Bike Thief Boy' is headed back to trial and he damn well better show up this time!

Law & Order

Today my daughter and I had to be at the courthouse downtown by 8:30am. Since I was 'going to court' that meant getting up early (6:00am) to make myself presentable (hey, it takes a while to pull this body together.) I woke my daughter at 7:00am. ( Since my kids technically don't need to be to school until 11:00am, we tend to be a pretty lazy lot in the morning.) Breakfast was downed, I skipped reading the morning paper and together my daughter and I braved the freezing 9 degree windchill to make our way to the courthouse.

Why were we summoned to the courthouse on a blustery cold morning in January? Because of the bike thief we encountered back in September. My daughter and I received a subpoena back in November to appear as witnesses. I won't say we've been obsessing about it ever since, but it's definitely weighed on our minds. Me, keeping the date on file so I didn't accidentally schedule any other appointments. My daughter, struggling with the notion that she might have to testify and possibly face the thief who lives in our very own neighborhood. I don't think the fear of retribution is outside the realm of possibility. Then there's the angst of dealing with questions like, where exactly do I need to be? where am I supposed to park? Going to court isn't exactly something we do often around here. In fact, the last time I was in a courtroom was when I was 10 yrs. old and my parents were fighting over custody rights. That was the day my dad nearly threw my step-father through a third story window, while I watched in horror. So yeah, maybe this going to court thing today, had me a little more freaked than I care to admit.

Anyway, with 21 cases on the docket, the states attorney's office was packed. Fortunate for us, we got there early and settled down in chairs to read, others who came later weren't as lucky. After roughly 20 min. or so we were called back by the Assistant State's Attorney and informed the defendant (Mr. Slippery Fingers Bike Thief Boy) hadn't shown.

ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME!!!!

The attorney told us she would move our case up to first on the docket and if he wasn't there at the time the case was called, she would ask the judge to dismiss us. She told us to go to Court Room #2 (which looked eerily like the room I remember back when I was 10.) My daughter and I settled in and began reading again (I know it helped calm MY nerves.) Eventually, the judge entered the room and we all rose. Our case was in fact the first one called. Bike Thief Boy's mom and his attorney stood before the judge and stated the boy was absent. His mother explained that he had run away and she hasn't seen him. There was talk of the boy removing an electronic monitoring device he'd been convicted to wear. This is when I began to understand this whole thing was a LOT bigger than a stolen bicycle.

I feel for this kids family, I really do... But dammit I'm mad and I'm getting madder the more I think about it. Time wasted, Emotions spent... This kid did more than walk into my garage and take something. He disrupted our lives. He compromised our trust. He made me get out of my warm bed 2 hours earlier this morning. This isn't the way things would work out if Clint Eastwood had HIS bike stolen.