Friday, October 30, 2009

Post-Halloween Wrap-Up

So Halloween was kind of a bust.

We had a few trick-or-treaters, a few of the really cute little ones who show up in the early part of the evening and are either frightened of the whole idea of accepting candy from strangers OR are ready to walk into your house and check to see if you have anything cool to play with.

However, just as Halloween 'officially' got itself underway, the heavens opened and it rained monsoon style. You know what that means don't you? Yep! A big-ass bowl of Halloween candy is currently sitting on my kitchen counter. Talk about runnin' with the devil!

Anyway, Halloween wasn't a complete wash. We had our friends over for a pizza party and some pool. The best conversation topic of the evening was, "If I were 'hot' what slutty costume would I wear?" Seeing as there's a monstrous bowl of candy currently residing nearby, it's safe to say there are no slutty costumes in my future.

Here are a few of the costumes we came up with, can you think of any others:
slutty nurse
slutty maid
slutty cheerleader
slutty witch
slutty fairy
slutty pirate
slutty bunny (I especially liked the way the title of this one rolls of the tongue.)

We had completely forgotten about 'slutty teenager' until my husband and I went shopping yesterday and saw a group of girls wearing THE.... SHORTEST.... SHORTS, I've witnessed since high school, when in 1982 the students in our school staged a sit-in (so 1960's) over the banning of 'Sex Wax T-shirts' and 'Dolphin Shorts' (anyone remember these?)
Now considered part of the Official uniform of the 'Hooters' waitress. So yeah, don't forget the 'slutty teenager' costumes. Oh, and I guess 'slutty waitress' should also be added to the list.

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Thursday, October 29, 2009

My Mood In Food

The above photo pretty much sums up where my head is right now.
Because of Halloween?...... Nope!
Because my braces just got tightened?.... Possibly, but No. *damn my mouth hurts*
Because my house is a pig sty?....... Any other time, Maybe.
Because I've got a meeting tomorrow with a group of artists to open a co-op, in a huge shop on Main street, for the holiday season.... Which means there's like a million and one details to consider and a paltry sum of art for me to sell?...... Bingo!

So why am I spending precious time blogging?....... Here's an answer for you, why does a deer freeze in the headlights?

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Wednesday, October 28, 2009


My friend Lori was in an auto accident today... Not focusing on her driving, she ran a stop sign and got hit broadside by a florist van (the same florist who's shop is right next door to the clay studio where Lori works... Awkward!)

Both parties are fine. Though my friend Lori, who sometimes... Okay, a LOT of times has a flair for the dramatic, while explaining the accident was going on about "blood" and "life & limb" and "I didn't say goodbye to my son this morning, what if I died?" However, because the accident took place in the middle of our teeny tiny downtown district, neither car was moving any faster than 20 mph. Yeah, her car is munched on the passenger side and an air bag deployed but 'life & limb' were spared for both parties involved.

I'm not trying to make light of the situation because I'd have been shaking in my boots too... I was just trying to give her a little perspective. The luck of the situation was, I just happened to be driving down Main St. when I saw Lori and her husband and pulled up to say Hi!... Right place, right time (wrong place, wrong time would've been in front of the hospital just 15 min. earlier when she ran that stop sign), I was able to take Lori home and get her calmed down.

Fortunately the guy from the florist shop was extremely understanding and other than a munched up car, everyone is going to be fine. On a side note, the boy almost killed us (okay, maybe I stretch the truth a bit... just a bit) driving to school this morning... So learning to drive in rainy conditions is definitely something he should start practicing........... WITH HIS DAD!!!

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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Suggestion Box

So the old man and I are coming up on 26 yrs. of wedded bliss and we're trying to decide where to go for a one or two night getaway that won't break the bank.

We're talkin' late November folks... Any ideas? And might I add ANYPLACE that boasts 'in room, heart shaped jacuzzi's' will not be up for consideration...

Because, EEEEEeeeWWWwwwwwwww!!!

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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Recipe for Life

As an extended birthday celebration, the family went out to my FAVORITE restaurant on Saturday night... 'Sweetwater Tavern' in Merrifield, Virginia. Even though the place is obnoxiously loud and the wait interminable, the food is so incredibly superior, it makes all other food hang its head in shame.

The most amazing item on their menu... No, I mean ONE of the most amazing items on their menu, is their 'Chop House Salad'... Think, sweet yet tangy buttermilk dressing, romaine letttuce, basil, roasted corn *damn I hate it when I drool all over my keyboard*

So as I sat there extolling the merits of my delicious salad to my sister-in-law, she said, "Why don't you ask them for the recipe?" I explained to her that I had a pretty good idea the recipe was a closely guarded secret. In fact, there were probably ninjas protecting a safe in anti-chamber under the kitchen, along with a 3 headed dog and... Well, you get the idea.

After an appetizer of mouth watering Calamari and the tavern's amazing basket of donut like rolls and herbed butter, the family sat eagerly awaiting the main course. That's when a lovely little Asian woman walked up to our table, introduced herself as the manager and politely apologized for the wait but added the kitchen was just finishing a fresh batch of their redskin, basil mashed potatoes... and did we mind the wait? Even fresher potatoes? Of course not! But that's when my sister-in-law popped up with, "You can make it up to us by giving us the recipe for the 'Chop House Salad'." For a moment I thought the manager might go all ninja on us but instead she replied with, "Well, I can give you a list of the ingredients... Would that be all right?" "YES, YES, that would be wonderful!" I piped up!

Roughly 5 minutes later, after our freshly made potatoes were sitting before us, mine with a heap of delicately roasted chicken... Everyone elses topped with salmon... The manager handed us a tiny 3" square piece of paper, listing the ingredients for the 'Chop House Salad'... But here's the thing...

It's JUST the ingredients...
No measurements...
Just a random list of ingredients...

Yes, it puts me one step closer to being able to make this, oh so delicious salad, in my very own kitchen... HOWEVER, I see this as kind of a metaphor for my life...

It's like yeah, I know what the ingredients are but exactly how much and when and how to mix it all together? Well, that's the REAL question!

So, does anyone know where I can find 'Champagne Vinegar?'

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Friday, October 16, 2009

The Party's Over

Hey All, thanks for the birthday wishes...

I had a lovely day, at the start of which, Nature Girl made me a surprise breakfast... Believe me, there are precious FEW things in this world MORE surprising than Nature Girl in the kitchen! That girl can cook up a mean egg & cheese on an perfectly toasted English muffin, Ill tell you... Topped off with apple slices and a hot cup of chai tea... My belly was happy for hours.

'Computer Boy' in all of his computery goodness got me an adapter for my van so I can now play my 'Kick-Ass-I-pod Shuffle' music wherever I go... Gone are the day of mixed cd's... I now have almost every tune I could ever want whenever I want it... I say ALMOST because my husband gave me an i-tune gift card, so any desired tune I don't already have, I will acquire very soon (once I can figure out how this whole i-tunes thing works... I know, I'm SO old!)

So I didn't get the 47" flat panel screen tv I wanted for above the fireplace (spoiled much?) but I did have a lovely birthday celebration with family and friends. My friend Lori made what shall now and forever be known as my favorite birthday cake... A double chocolate cheesecake! When I took the first bite the words, "Oh sweet mystery of life at last I found you!" swirled around in my head... Come to think of it, there's large chunk of that cake sitting in my fridge right now and it's calling my name...

What? There are NO calories in birthday cake!


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Four & 1/2 Decades

1. .45 - It's a movie (sorry, never saw it.)

2. Forty-Five - The number of days this little guy was going to have to spend in reform school. (insanity)

3. 45 -
A Local TV station

Free 45 - Vintage baby!!! (I REALLY like Olho de Boi.)

45 Screens - I LOVE Tanzania

45 DAYS Until - Well, less than that now, but for the purpose of illustration, I'm going with it.

7. I'll never forget
this forty-five!

M-45 - Really?... Awesome!

9. A

10. A
scary Forty-Five

Drive it

Too slow?

Something to wear... Cool!

45? - Well shiver me timbers!

15. Time to buy
the t-shirt!

It's the 15th and I'm Forty-Freakin'-Five!


I'm Gonna Make Myself A Hat!

Don't you just love the holidays?

Does the idea of shopping downtown on a quaint little Main street somewhere warm your cockles (cockles?)

How about picturing that Main street filled with holiday charm, each window aglow with sparkling lights and magical holiday goodness?Yeah? Me too! Somehow, because I too cling to this 'vision', you're now reading the ramblings of the Design Committee Chairman for my little home town. The committee, I should add, currently consists of.... wait for it.... wait for it.....

Moi! and.... wait for it........ wait for it.......

That's it! Just Moi!... Me.... Me, Myself and I... And no, that doesn't count as 3 people, it's still just one. ONE, an indivisible number... I am a rock, I am an Iiiii-land.

Today I have sealed my fate as the town idiot...............*pause*
......... You know, I'd like to take a moment here and exclaim that as 'The New Town Idiot', I'm going to make myself a tri-corner paper hat and inscribe on it, with a black sharpie, in a curly serify font, in HUGE CAPITALIZED LETTERS, with a giant arrow pointing straight down... TOWN IDIOT!

Or maybe this one will do:
So, what was I saying? Oh yes, Today I sealed my fate by addressing a gathering of town merchants to implore them to allow ME to 'help' them decorate their shop windows for the holidays... Thereby insuring either my vision of holiday goodness will be fulfilled OR My family will have me donning and cinching up a straight jacket festooned with sparkly, SPARKLY, garland...

I'll keep you posted.

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Tuesday, October 13, 2009


Computer Boy attended a meeting in town with me today. He came along as my representative. His job was to make sure I didn't volunteer for anything and if so, he had permission to smack me upside the head... By the way...Ouch! my head hurts.

Anywho, following the meeting I asked if he'd like Burger King for lunch, "my treat!" (What a stupid question... It would be a cold day in hell before my boy would ever turn down a king size order of chicken fries.) Since I was 'dressed up' for the meeting we attended, he jokingly asked me if I thought I was overdressed for Burger King. I looked at him, sitting there beside me in the van, dressed in an old t-shirt and a pair of jeans the likes of which, I have absolutely no idea when they'd last seen a spin cycle, and I asked, "I don't know, do you think YOU might be overdressed for Burger King?"

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Monday, October 12, 2009

Party for one... Your table is ready.

The whole orthodontia thing is moving along rather quickly. That space I had between my two front teeth, since I was like 7? It's gone now, likewise for that tooth on the bottom row which was beginning to take up residence 'behind' all of my other bottom teeth... Can I just say how amazed I am by that miracle of orthodontic engineering?

So my hygienist asks me the other day, "How long did your orthodontist say it would be until you got your braces off?" I told her he had predicted 20 months. She said, "Well maybe it's like when you go to a restaurant and the hostess tells you it's going to be a 40 minute wait but then calls to seat you after only 10 minutes."

I've got another appointment coming up in a couple of weeks and I intend to use that exact analogy with my orthodontist when I ask him if, per chance, I'm ahead of schedule. It looks like I'm heading out to California for another visit in May and I can't think of anything more awesome than to make that trips sans braces (well that AND a 30 lb. weight loss 'cause if you're going to dream, DREAM BIG, or in this case, dream small.) 14 months vs. 20 months? C'mon, it could happen!... Couldn't it?


Friday, October 09, 2009

Damn Crooked House

So the other night, 'Computer Boy' was loading the fridge with soda cans, when the sodas shifted within the oblong carton on the counter and began tumbling to the floor, one.... after.... the... other. 'Computer Boy' was quite obviously frustrated and said, "Well this wouldn't have happened if this entire house wasn't on a slant!" I said, "What?" and began laughing.

I could tell by the smirk on his face, he knew very well he was just making an excuse for the accidental soda drop but it still didn't stop him from locating a marble to see if it would roll off the counter, which it didn't so consider that myth BUSTED!

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Thursday, October 08, 2009

For Uncle Bill

You fought so hard for so long... Rest in Peace.

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Saturday, October 03, 2009

16 Miles and what do you get?

From Monday to Friday, I walked over 16 miles this week and last night I realized the one thing thinner on me is my ring finger (my wedding band nearly falls right off)... Yes, my FREAKING RING FINGER!!!


And don't you dare say it's because of the Panini's... Don't you DARE!

*I know what the billboard is saying, and it doesn't have anything to do with losing weight in my ring finger but I still think it's hilarious.

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