Thursday, January 29, 2009

When 'Sticky' Just Won't Stick

I've been working on those 'Birthday Invitations' for Newlywed Girl and it's probably inappropriate for me to complain about a job where the client can read about it but...


There that feels a little better. Now that I've spent an entire day re-doing EVERYTHING I'd accomplished yesterday.

At least I can report that the job is complete.

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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Printer Quest - An Epic Adventure Part Deux

To bring you up to speed, our heroes just finished Day 22 of their quest for a new printer, only to come up empty handed. Things are starting to get tense for our trio as a new printer MUST be acquired for the big 'First Birthday Invitation' job Embee has to complete before the end of the month.

And now back to our tale...

Day 23: The better part of day 23 was spent scouring the internet for every review of EVERY printer EVER made. A thoroughly frustrating task as nearly EVERY printer has a different model number from the one which is reviewed.

Much wailing and gnashing of teeth occurs due to the mental wrestling over what options are most important to have in a printer. The struggle goes something like this... Do you want a printer that prints color? Well yes. Okay, Do you want a printer with a scanner? Well, we already have a scanner so, not really. Do you want a printer with a copier? Um, okay. Do you want a printer with a fax? Hmmmm? I never fax anything so, No, I don't really want a printer with a fax. BUZZ! Sorry, you fail, the printer you're looking at comes with a fax! Um, okay, I'll take the fax thing then. But, may I ask, Does this printer come with cd printing capabilities because NOW I really want that. BUZZ! No this printer does NOT come with that option. You Fail! Then you begin searching for a new model all over again. Then the one you find, that you think you like, has a review which states, "This printer sucks! I've done nothing but try to clear paper jams ever since I turned it on." And then you're back to square ONE!

Evening of Day 23 sounded something like this: "I've decided on model #C6480, yep, I read the reviews, that's the right one." Husband looks up model on laptop and points out an obvious flaw regarding ink style. Half-hour later, "You were right about that last one, I think I want the C4450, yep, that one is a winner!" Guess what, the big box electronic store you got that $200 gift card for DOESN'T SELL THAT MODEL! Round and round it went for hours.

Day 24: Admitting defeat, because I've reached the point at which I just don't give a damn anymore, I send husband and computer boy to the big box electronic store to buy whatever the hell printer they think is the best. I'm DONE with trying to make this decision. Just as they're preparing to pull out of the garage to leave, I run like a mad-woman from the bedroom upstairs, screaming for my daughter to stop them. Just in the nick of time I catch up to my husband and hand him the $200 gift card still in my purse. Because yeah, that would've been just a perfect 'Icing on the Cake' scenario to this whole annoying situation. "Look son, we found the printer, it's perfect, let's go to the check-out and purchase this here beauty. Oh wait?" *mwah-mwah-mwah! You Lose!*

Day 24: Two hours after husband and son leave for big box electronic store with gift card in hand: Cell phone rings. "Hello?"

Husband says, "You know that printer we were going to buy but didn't, the last time we were at the store? Well the day we looked at it, that was the sale price and it's not on sale anymore, it's now a hundred dollars OVER the amount of our gift card. They're telling me there's a sale that starts tomorrow, so NO printer today." *The loud banging you would've heard, were you within earshot? Was from my head repeatedly hitting the wall*

Day 25: Could it be? Is this the day? We'll see! I once again opt to just stay home and read a book as husband and computer boy head out, ONCE AGAIN, to that big box electronic store, this time with the gift card already in hand.

This is the story they shared when they returned after 2 hours.
"We went to the first big box electronic store and what do you think we found? We found the printer we wanted but it wasn't on sale. We asked the employee about the price and he simply stated it wasn't on sale this week." BUZZ! You lose!

"Then we decided to head across town to the 2nd same name, big box electronic store and see what the story was there. When we got there we found the printer we'd decided on but it was still priced at over $300. HOWEVER, as we were standing there, a timid little printer rep lady approached and asked if we had any questions." Husband proceeded to share our printer quest tale of woe. That's when timid little printer rep lady said, "You know, if you go over to the computer department and look online, you might be able to find this printer at another store cheaper and this big box electronic store will match the price." My husband and son kind of hemmed and hawed because they didn't quite believe this could be true or they just didn't know where to start looking.

"Eventually we made their way over to the computer department and plucked at a few sites." they continued. "When to our surprise, the timid little printer rep lady, who had been tap-tap-tapping away at a nearby computer walked over and softly said, "You know, that printer is on sale at Target for $199. You can just go over to Customer Service and have them look up the price and they'll match it." Husband and son could hardly believe their ears... They scurried over to Customer Service and received verification that the price would indeed be matched.

Legend has it that the big box electronic store had never before seen two more agile men make a run for the printer department, grab a box and make their way through checkout, WITH a gift card, in quite the record time, that my husband and son succeeded in attaining. My son says as they made their way out of the store with the printer in hand it was a scene out of that new IKEA commercial. They were both running through the parking lot yelling, "Start the car! Start the car!"

My new printer has now found it's home. No, it doesn't the the ability to print on cd's and yes, it does have a fax but I'm not going to waste time focusing on anything other than the fact that it prints out a damn fine photograph. I'll just have to wait and see how it performs for this 'Birthday Invitation' job I have to complete by Sunday. In fact, I really shouldn't be blogging, I should be PRINTING!

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Monday, January 26, 2009

Printer Quest - An Epic Adventure

Question: How long should it take to buy a new printer?

Answer: Well you would think, oh maybe 20 min. And if you're really choosy, maybe and hour.

Was that your answer? Well, if you live in The Paper Treehouse, you'd be WRONG!

The correct answer is: 25 days.

25 DAYS??? You ask.

Yes, here, allow me to add it up for you.

Day 1: You've already determined you need a new printer, but hmmmm, What kind? and Where should you purchase it? Well, there are those points you've accrued through your credit card company, perhaps you should order a gift card from your rewards points? Yes, because then it'll be like you're getting your new printer for FREE!

Day 2: Consult with husband regarding from which store you should order a gift card.

Day 3, Day 4 & Day 5: Once you've AT LAST made your decision as to the type of gift card, puzzle over the amount you think you'll need.

Day 6: Order gift card from 'Credit Card Rewards Company' online. Discover you've forgotten your password info and give up in frustration.

Day 7: Send inquiry e-mail to 'Credit Card Rewards Company' to verify your forgotten password info. After waiting for two separate e-mail replies, return to 'Credit Card Rewards Company' website and at last order your $200 gift card.

Day 8 thru Day 20: Wait for your gift card to be processed by a tired little man, in a tiny little cubicle, who is seriously considering ending it all due to his dead-end job and meaningless life... Then wait for said card to be mailed via Tibet on the back of an alpaca.

Day 21: $200 of free money in the palm of your hand, you make plans to head off to the big box electronic store the very next day to pick up your brand new printer! Good thing you used ALL that extra time you had, waiting for your gift card, to research which printer to purchase.

Day 22: Because buying a new expensive piece of electronic equipment for the home is an important decision, you bring your husband, who is a computer programmer by profession AND you're techie-genius son along with you to make the purchase of your brand new printer!


There are many, MANY, MANY, other printers available than JUST the one you thought you had decided on. And one of these NEW printers is sleek and black and has a fancy touch screen, which make you feel as though you wouldn't JUST be printing a document but manning the control panel which sends Luke Skywalker off to battle the Deathstar. Yes, this printer is more than your gift card is worth BUT a voice in the back of your head repeatedly whispers "My Precious" every time you touch its shiny black chasis.

However, your husband shakes his head and says, "I dunno, we haven't done any research on that one." Rather than make a decision, the three of you head off to the same name big box electronic store just on the other side of town, to see if there are even MORE models of printers to boggle your mind. And you know what? There ARE more!

At this point your head is swimming AND that sleek black model is still whispering your name even though in THIS store it isn't even plugged in! You begin to ask yourself, "Do I want a printer that prints fast?.... Yes!" "Do I want a printer that has a fax?.... No!" "Do I want a printer that prints on cd's?.... Hell yeah, I never even thought of it before but yes, YES I DO want to print on cd's!"

Eventually, husband calls his mom to have her check out review on that sleek, black, touch-screen model that is still whispering my name. 10 min. later the call comes back that the reviews are bad, it's a piece of crap! BUT HOW CAN THAT BE??? I'm quite sure that model could be the ultimate demise of the death star and all by the touch of my finger on it's smooth *Precious* touch screen!

Ultimately on Day 22, we leave the 2nd big box electronic store, with our heads completely befuddled with brands and model numbers and yes, we're still without a printer!

Stay tuned for the rest of the story.........

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Friday, January 23, 2009

A Van Load of White Elephants

This morning I dropped off all my closet crap at The Goodwill Donation Center... And I'm wondering, is it just me or does anyone else find this task embarrassing beyond belief?

My husband questions why I should find donating my stuff for others to sift through and profit from, at all embarrassing.

Why? Because it's crap, junk, shit, if you will. I'm probably making it sound like I'm donating the very worst of the worst but trust me, I'm so terrified of the idea that someone will go through my stuff and curse my name (who am I kidding, they don't know my name.)... That they'll curse that woman who drove up in the green mini-van and unloaded a bunch of useless shit, possibly take down my license and either report me to authorities for dumping or hunt me down and run me off the road, all because I used their donation center as a means to dump my useless crap.

SO, in order to prevent any of those things from occurring, I carefully inspect each item I set aside, for wear & tear or whether it's broken or too dusty. And yet, I still am left with this horrible feeling I've dumped a big fat white elephant on the poor and destitute. This terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach probably stems from growing up poor. I detested having to go to the church storehouse to comb through the hideous, ill-fitting clothes people had donated.

My past continues to bite me in the ass like that.

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Thursday, January 22, 2009

Ticking off my Resolution 'To-Do List'

My bedroom closet is 'CLEAN'

Just ask Tangina.

"Yes, this closet IS clean."


Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Vindictive Kitchen Lady

A few weeks ago my friend and I were searching through household items on Craigslist. We happened upon a listing in which a woman was hocking her kitchen, everything... the stove, the fridge, the cabinets, even the kitchen sink. Why? Because she was going to gut her entire kitchen before the bank repossessed her house. My friend said, "Good for her!"


What in gods name is GOOD about that situation?

I understand people are sore, frustrated and angry about the economic situation but seriously, is this the banks fault? Well, yeah maybe it's there fault to provide a loan to someone who couldn't follow through with the payments but c'mon.

Who ultimately pays the price for such vindictiveness? The bank? No, they'll just raise fees or when some honest Joe tries to apply for a loan he'll be turned down. Who else pays? Jim & Sally Homeowner, who live in the same neighborhood as 'Vindictive Kitchen Lady' because repossessed, gutted houses, tend to lower property values and turn once pleasant neighborhoods into squalor. But that's okay, Jim & Sally will continue to work hard to maintain their little parcel of the American Dream.

So, Gutting a kitchen and selling it off... Payback or Stealing?
What do you think?

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Monday, January 19, 2009

A 'Shuffle' To The Dark Side

Seeing people with wires hanging from their ears, completely oblivious to the world around them has always annoyed the hell out of me. It's like they're saying, "The world holds no interest for me, you don't matter, the only important thing is this noise filling my head."

Seems EVERYONE is addicted to their ipod...

Then, on Saturday, while my husband, son and I were out shopping for a new printer, my son offered to buy me an ipod... Seriously? YES! Even HE, doesn't own an ipod but he wanted to buy ME one. "As a late Christmas gift" he said. "Really, Why?" I asked. "Because I think you might like it for when you walk." he said. "Yeah, that might be nice." I sighed, completely denying the voice in my head telling me I'd become on of the 'peevers.' "So, let me buy one for you." he said......... And he DID!

When I came home with my new purchase and showed my daughter she was all, "You swore you would never be one of those people. You always told me if you were going out for a walk, you wanted to enjoy the sights and SOUNDS of the nature around you." She practically spat the words at me like she was my mother or something. I stammered back at her because I really didn't have a good reply, "Um, well, I changed my mind. I think it might be nice to listen to music when I walk. (Complete role reversal? Um, yeah!)

So, do I think it's a bad idea to listen to an ipod while walking?.... NOT ANYMORE BABY!

I walked 2 miles today and I could've done 3 more (time constraints.) I was pumping away to the music filling my head and I was totally in the zone! To hell with nature when the pounding beat of 'Fall Out Boy's - Folie A Deaux' is keeping me moving (yeah, I'm a 44 yr. old 'Fall Out Boy' fan, what of it?)

I promised I would not wear this thing around family members and take the risk of shutting myself off from others but seriously, it is addictive to have the sound of your favorite music filling your head. I am so in LOVE with my gift.

Take me dark side... I'm all yours!

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Friday, January 16, 2009

Trouble at the O.K. Corral

My husband wants to travel down to the D.C. area for an overnight. He wants to leave tonight and return sometime tomorrow late afternoon. Why? Because his sister is in town.

While I never begrudge him, and honestly, quite often urge him to visit his mom or spend time with his family, this time I told him I thought it was a bad idea and wished he wouldn't go. Mainly because of the Obama Circus that's about to hit D.C.

Now I know the Inauguration isn't until Tuesday but something so massive takes preparation and I've no doubt people are already descending on the district in droves. So I ask myself, why? WHY? go anywhere near such madness? "Because my sister is in town." says my husband. Which yes, I understand BUT she's in town every few months or so. I'm quite sure he can catch her again in March or April.

Folks, I think what we've got going right here is one of them Power Struggles. For, instead of my husband saying, "I can see this worries you." He instead says, "What's your motive for not wanting me to go?" Motive? WTF! I think I made my motivation quite clear. I think it's a bad idea under the circumstances.

I told him he really shouldn't consider the trip and what does he do? He calls his other sister, who lives near the district, to get her opinion. Then he calls his brother to get his opinion. Power struggle INDEED! My opinion no longer matters. Instead he'd rather consult with his siblings over calculated risks.

Just to set things straight. I'm NOT one o
f those women who gets premonitions or acts all illogical and allows my head to fill with absurd notions. I just think it's STUPID to go anywhere near an area which is expected to be overrun with people and logistical nightmares. And yes, I KNOW the actual party isn't until Tuesday but c'mon, you can't tell me that *poof* magically everyone is going to appear THAT day, and all will be smooth sailing directly before and after that period.

The last words spoken between my husband and I went something like this:

All Wise & Prudent Me: "I just think it's a BAD idea."

Stupid Husband: "FINE, I just won't go then!"

All Wise & Prudent Me: "GOOD, because I DON'T think you SHOULD go!"

That conversation took place over an hour ago. He's upstairs in his office working. I'm here on my computer stewing, after slamming a few things around and starting a load of laundry (because you know, shits still gotta get done around here.)

I'm waiting until he comes down for lunch and then I'm going to give it to him with both barrels. That's right folks, High Noon!

UPDATE: While 'High Noon' on Friday was fraught with tension the principals weathered the argument without having to resort to the Big Guns. He didn't make the trip because he respected my concerns for his safety and I didn't hit him when he continued to insist that I was wrong about the possible risks involved.

And life at the O.K. Corral returned to Okay.

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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Law & Order

Today my daughter and I had to be at the courthouse downtown by 8:30am. Since I was 'going to court' that meant getting up early (6:00am) to make myself presentable (hey, it takes a while to pull this body together.) I woke my daughter at 7:00am. ( Since my kids technically don't need to be to school until 11:00am, we tend to be a pretty lazy lot in the morning.) Breakfast was downed, I skipped reading the morning paper and together my daughter and I braved the freezing 9 degree windchill to make our way to the courthouse.

Why were we summoned to the courthouse on a blustery cold morning in January? Because of the bike thief we encountered back in September. My daughter and I received a subpoena back in November to appear as witnesses. I won't say we've been obsessing about it ever since, but it's definitely weighed on our minds. Me, keeping the date on file so I didn't accidentally schedule any other appointments. My daughter, struggling with the notion that she might have to testify and possibly face the thief who lives in our very own neighborhood. I don't think the fear of retributi
on is outside the realm of possibility. Then there's the angst of dealing with questions like, where exactly do I need to be? where am I supposed to park? Going to court isn't exactly something we do often around here. In fact, the last time I was in a courtroom was when I was 10 yrs. old and my parents were fighting over custody rights. That was the day my dad nearly threw my step-father through a third story window, while I watched in horror. So yeah, maybe this going to court thing today, had me a little more freaked than I care to admit.

Anyway, with 21 cases on the docket, the states attorney's office was packed. Fortunate for us, we got there early and settled down in chairs to read, others who came later weren't as lucky. After roughly 20 min. or so we were called back by the Assistant State's Attorney and informed the defendant (Mr. Slippery Fingers Bike Thief Boy) hadn't shown.


The attorney told us she would move our case up to first on the docket and if he wasn't there at the time the case was called, she would ask the judge to dismiss us. She told us to go to Court Room #2 (which looked eerily like the room I remember back when I was 10.) My daughter and I settled in and began reading again (I know it helped calm MY nerves.) Eventually, the judge entered the room and we all rose. Our case was in fact the first one called. Bike Thief Boy's mom and his attorney stood before the judge and stated the boy was absent. His mother explained that he had run away and she hasn't seen him. There was talk of the boy removing an electronic monitoring device he'd been convicted to wear. This is when I began to understand this whole thing was a LOT bigger than a stolen bicycle.

I feel for this kids family, I really do... But dammit I'm mad and I'm getting madder the more I think about it. Time wasted, Emotions spent... This kid did more than walk into my garage and take something. He disrupted our lives. He compromised our trust. He made me get out of my warm bed 2 hours earlier this morning. This isn't the way things would work out if Clint Eastwood had HIS bike stolen.

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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Helping Make 50 FANTASTIC!

Yesterday was my friend Lorie's 50th Birthday (I know, I hang out with old people, what can I say?) Now, when my husband turned 50, Lorie was all like, "What's the big deal? So what, you're 50!" and my husband was all like, "OH my god, it's horrible, I'm old, it's so depressing!" I was all like, "My god, you people are old and you're dragging me down."*

*Actually, no I didn't, or else I might not be here today to tell you this story.

So ANYWAY, let's just say that in the days leading up to Lorie's birthday there was a great deal of angst taking place. In an effort to ease Lorie into this whole 'Old Age' thing we new a party was in order. However, my friend Lorie can be kind of a surprise killer. By that I mean, She has to know EVERYTHING! So, I devised a BRILLIANT plan! We knew she'd like to go out to dinner and we decided to take her to the same place we went last year on her birthday (that would be the night we (Our family & hers) blindfolded her and drove all over god's green earth, so she'd have NO idea where we were going... much hilarity ensued.)

So the task became, how to surprise her THIS year? Well it just so happens that my son had a late afternoon dentist appointment, a fair distance from where we live. So I called Lorie yesterday morning, wished her a happy birthday and told her how glad I was she was born. I also told her to be ready for me to pick her up at 3:00 and to dress nice. She of course asked "Why?" "Where are we going?" Even though she KNEW there was no way I was going to give her an answer... She's hopeful like that.

I picked Lorie up a little later than I had planned, which I knew would drive her even more crazy and then we traveled to the school to pick up my son. Which confused the hell out of her. "Why were we picking up Zak and not [her kids]?" "How were [her kids] going to get home?" Did they have a ride?" I assured her everything was all part of 'THE PLAN' and then my cell phone rang. For the next 20 min. covert phone calls went back and forth with messages like, "The Eagle has landed."... "The Fox is IN the hen house, repeat, the Fox is IN the hen house." To which I would reply, "50 is the new 30, repeat, 50 IS the new 30!" Lorie just sat there frustrated and laughing, while carefully noting every direction I turned and each town I entered.

As I neared the dentist office she shouted, "Oh we're going to Greenville" It should be noted that my kids dentist is located in one of the swankiest towns in Delaware, which might lead Lorie to believe we were headed to some REALLY special restaurant. Imagine her surprise when I pulled up to an office building emblazoned with 'Delaware Dental Associates' on the side. That's when she said, "We're going to the DENTIST?"

I should take a moment here and share with you, the reader, there aren't many people who would be so incredibly.... (not only), gracious but incredibly clever, as to take their friend to the dentist as part of their 50th birthday surprise. But I folks, am just... that... devious!

My son had just as much fun playing the game by throwing out comments like, "Where are the balloons & streamers and where IS everybody?" as we walked into the dentist office. I explained to Lorie that I brought her there expressly for the purpose to try out the fancy gourmet coffee machine they have available in the waiting room. She was a great sport about the whole thing, laughing and shaking her head and was terribly embarrassed when I introduced her to my sons
hygienist, telling her the whole story as to why Lorie had joined us.

Eventually we finished up at the dentist. All three of us were hungry so Lorie accurately concluded we were next heading to a restaurant. More goofy phone calls were sent back and forth and ultimately we all (both families) had a lovely dinner all together to celebrate, each of us taking turns wearing the extremely large party hat, I offered to Lorie but she initially refused to wear... But the fun didn't stop there!

After dinner we came back to our house for cake & presents... And when I say presents, I mean PRESENTS! When we were trying to decide what to get Lorie for her birthday, my husband said, "What does Lorie like more than presents?" That's when he came up with this idea. "I know, why don't we give her 49 individually wrapped presents, 49, because 50 would just be too depressing!" We decided together that 49 was the perfect number because, WE, US, Our friendship, could be considered the 50th gift (yeah, we're pretty arrogant.)

So when we got back to the house we had gift #1 sitting out on the table (I had each gift numbered from 1 to 49 with sticker numbers, thanks to the scrapbooking supply hoarder I am.) Lorie seemed pleased after she opened the lame 1,000 piece puzzle, which was her first gift. Then I went to the closet and pulled out the gift marked #2. She laughed, puzzled why each gift was numbered and opened a Post-it Note set. Then my husband went to the closet and pulled out #3 present. A desk-set pen holder. Lorie wasn't really catching on so my husband and I gave eachother the nod and together went to the closet and pulled out the entire bin of presents. You should have seen Lorie's face! For the next hour she sat there and unwrapped gift after gift after gift.

The card, which was the final item she opened looked like this:
Inside I wrote something to this effect:"Every year is a Gift. Enjoy every one of them, from your #50"

I later told her that the thought occurred to me as I spent long hours wrapping all those gifts that yes, 'Life is a gift, even though sometimes it can seem a lot like a bunch of shit from the dollar store.'

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Little Time for Blogging

5 - black Hefty trash bags on the curb Monday morning.
1 - Mini-Van full of craptacular items for Goodwill.
2 - Bins of items for the school.
1 fully organized walk-in basement closet.

7 bins of carefully packed away Christmas crap.
1 Afternoon of playing 'Under the basement staircase storage area Jenga' (I can't take credit for this task it was ALL my husband.)
1 table full of wires, widgets, gadgets & gizmos, sorted through by the pack rat son (who is apparently predisposed to holding onto needless shit, just like his mother.)
1 Basement Workshop people can actually walk in.

Add to the mix:
The gallant effort to walk twice daily, no matter how frigid the conditions.
The stamina to withstand carb laden foods.
And of course ALL the other duties which I perform to keep the household running smoothly.
Bill Paying

There's just not a lot of time for blogging.

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Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Because Life Is Like A Circus

If I were to join the circus what would I be?
Well, I'm not a huge fan of the circus, neither is my husband or I should say, 'especially' not my husband. The one time we took the kids to 'Barnum & Bailey's' we did so only because I thought EVERY child should at least have the opportunity to experience a circus, just to see what it's all about. When I told my husband I was getting tickets he asked, "What about the elephant stampede?" Seriously, he was afraid we would die if we went to the circus! An untimely death, squished by giant pachyderm. Though nervous, he did go for it and was eventually relieved to find our seats were so far up the venue, we were above the trapeze even... No way any angry elephants were gonna be squishing us!

So here's my answer to that nagging question which plagues us all... What would I be if I joined the circus? I think my results are pretty much right on the mark! Thanks Lime for sharing this one.

You Should Juggle

You've got the talent to go far in life, but you don't really like to take risks.

You rather practice your well honed skills than put your life in danger.

You are agile and coordinated. You can work magic with your hands.

You truly mesmerize people. You don't have to resort to cheap tricks and gimmicks.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Excellent Weight Loss Routine

For those of you who are searching for a NO FAIL weight loss routine... The answer is RIGHT HERE at The Paper Treehouse (whodathunk?)

This is all you need:
  • A full length mirror - A large mirror will do. I don't happen to have a full length mirror but I DO have a mirror that covers nearly an entire wall over the counter in my bathroom.
  • A chair - Place the chair in front of the mirror. I didn't need a chair, I used the bathroom counter.
  • Strip down to your birthday suit - Yes, this means 'Get Naked'
  • Now lean against the chair or the counter, allowing all manner of gut and girth to hang loosely. Once you've assumed this position, look into the mirror.
Trust me, you'll never want to eat again!

Addendum: If you do feel the urge to succumb to any fat or calorie laden food, simply use your powers of recollection to bring to mind the above exercise.

P.S. That money you were going to waste at the gym? Just send it to me.

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Sunday, January 04, 2009

Grin and Drive

Did you ever notice people when they drive... Typically, if they aren't talking on their cell phone (which admittedly is rare), they're scowling... Not even a blank face... Actively scowling. Is driving really so difficult, so utterly terrible, people have to make it appear to be such a chore?

As for me, I LOVE to drive. It's always been a sense of freedom for me. When I had reached the magical age of 16 and was legally able to obtain a liscence, my parents lowered the old 'Catch 22'... "You can get your liscence when you are able to afford your own car and own insurance." Now tell me this, how was I to afford these things without the means of getting to a job which would pay me enough to do so? Sure I had a job, a nowhere job at a shoe store, but once I paid for my own school clothes, toiletries, dinners when I worked evenings and rent to live in my parents house, there wasn't much left over for even the down payment on a used car, let alone insurance. There were a multitude of reasons for me wanting to 'escape' from my parents home.

I started driving after I left home at the age 18. My fiance (now husband) put me on his insurance and lent me his car while he carpooled to work. I eventually got that job 30 miles from my home, which paid enough for me to afford things like a car and insurance. I just had to leave home to do it.

Anyway, back to my original point. Do any of you remember that day you first held a set of car keys in your hand? The keys to the car which YOU were going to drive? Do you remember that thrill? Weren't you just wishing you'd run into (not literally, c'mon guys work with me here) someone you knew? I remember, I remember it SO clearly. It still makes me smile and sometimes, every once in awhile, I clutch my car keys in my hand and am reminded of that sweet taste of freedom and I climb behind the wheel and I smile.

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Friday, January 02, 2009

Overly Resolved

So my husband asked me this morning if I had made any resolutions. I said, "Yes, two of them in fact. "
  1. To Get Healthy
  2. To Get Organized
And then I thought for a moment.... "Oh, and I want to be more creative."

A few hours later I said, "And I want to finally get our bedroom and bathroom painted."

And awhile after that I said, "The laundry room too... I really want to get shelves put up in the laundry room."

And a little later I said, "I want to try some new things in the kitchen."
(FOOD People, FOOD! New dishes, I want to cook like Lime and Wiskeymarie... Get your minds out of the gutter!)

After that I began thinking to myself, "I really want to spend more time reading some of the books on my 'To Read' list."

And as I sit here, it occurs to me that I'd like to get all my 'Quicken' info updated...

Yeah, but Weight-loss, Organization, Art, Home Decor, Cooking, Reading
AND Being financially responsible seems WAaaaaY over the top!

So I asked my husband if HE had any resolutions. His reply, "Yes, I'm thinking I'd like to set aside a period of time for myself each day to do some sort of project... but I haven't decided what that project is going to be quite yet."

*crickets chirping*

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Thursday, January 01, 2009

Partying like it's 2009

Here's a few snippets of family & friends 'Partying it Up'...

This is a picture of my son mocking me... He says I always give this look when I'm being judgmental... NO I DON'T... Okay, maybe I do.

This one I just don't have a good answer for...

The balloon noise makers were loud enough to make my ears bleed!

Thanks be to jeebus, Sam popped his balloon noisemaker.

Cute neighbor Cathy makin' some noise.

I wasn't the only one taking pictures...

It was quite a party alright...

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