Big Boned

Last week I submitted to the dreaded mammography machine. Once I reminded the technician I in fact was NOT Elastic Woman we got along fine and I was pleased to learn the 'girls' are all clear.

Seeing as I'm now 45 my doctor suggested it was time I had a 'Bone Density' screening. Unsure of what that particular procedure involved I went in with some trepidation. However, the test was a piece of cake since all I had to do was lay on a table for about 10 minutes while I had a lovely conversation with the bone density technician. Turns out I'm very good at laying down for 10 minutes. In fact, I'm pretty sure I could lay down for even longer but you know, they needed the machine for another patient.... But I'm willing to bet that next patient wasn't as good as me, at laying around for 10 minutes.

Anyway, yesterday I had my annual 'lady bits' exam and the doctor informed me he had the results of my bone density test. When he looked at my chart he said, "WOW!" Unsure what that exclamation meant I said, "What?" (In an 'oh shit' kind of way) To which he replied, "Well it seems you have the bones of a teenager."............... Let's just take a moment and let that sink in....... I... have... the... bones... of a... TEENAGER! Sorry, I'm a little excited by this because the only thing on me thus far that's even remotely 'Teenager' is my orthodontia and sadly, that isn't the least bit brag worthy.

So yeah, it turns out that a bone density of -1 is considered 'normal'. If your bone density falls into the -2 range, you're considered a candidate for osteoporosis and you'd better start taking Sally Field seriously when she prattles on about the benefits of 'Boniva'. If your bone density is -4 your body is essentially a house of cards. But, my bone density reading was +4! We're talking bones so thick... Well, I don't know they're just really thick!

So this all got me to thinking... That extra weight I've been carrying? It's because of my BONES! Obviously, my bones are SO thick they're adding an incredible amount to my overall weight, they may even need their own zip code.... And I always thought the term 'Big Boned' was a flimsy excuse but now I'm SO going with it!

Stimulating the Economy

Saturday I decided I'd had it! The carpet in the family room HAD TO GO! I've had it cleaned but there's only so much you can do with contractor grade carpet, especially when it's light beige and you live with a dog, a husband and two kids who seldom if never wipe their feet. So yeah, NEW CARPET!

Saturday I picked out the color and style and yesterday my husband and his buddy went and purchased the amount we needed for the room.

Today, our refrigerator broke!

New carpet and a new refrigerator all in the same week?
It's like I won the lottery... Except I didn't and now that little 'nest egg' we've been slowly building upon has toppled out of the tree and now lays broken and oozing all over the patio of our life... However, did I mention I'm getting soft cushy fresh new carpeting and a big shiny new fridge?

Tale of 2 Cameras

On Saturday my husband, Nature Girl and myself took another trip to our favorite photo op place on earth, Valley Garden Park. It's down right impossible to get crappy pics in a place SO beautiful... Right?

Well, unless you have a crap ass camera like my Canon Power Shot S3IS. Seriously, this camera has just made me sad for so long now. It's been rather lackluster in it's ability to capture deep rich color (even after going back and forth on factory settings vs. manual settings), it hasn't performed at all well on automatic focus and the most frustrating of all, macro mode was for shit! Instead of automatically adjusting it's focus in macro, I had to move back and forth until I managed some semblance of focus. Then I would just push the button and pray my bad eyesight was able to compensate for a reasonably decent shot. Good thing it's digital or I would've been wasting reams of film, because I would blow through a dozen shots just to get one half-way good one.

For example, here's a pic I tried to shoot ten times and it's still blurry. Sadly, those flowers were actually blue!

This next shot either myself or my husband took.

I think it turned out reasonably well but you can't imagine how much fudging it took to capture it. 'Fudging' AND a lot of whining on my part. After every pic, either myself or my husband shot, I'd turn to him and say, "See, see what I mean? It's crap, this camera is just CRAP!" Poor guy, I'm such a bitch. However, this is the first time he's ever really tried to work with the camera and even my husband, he of the 'Old School All Manual 35mm Club' seemed surprised with the photo quality. He made a few snarky comments about how 'if I'd only read the manual, I probably wouldn't be having such a hard time' which I chose to ignore. When we returned home that afternoon and loaded the pics on my laptop he seemed surprised that even the pictures he took sucked. That's when he sat down for awhile with both my crap ass camera and it's bore me to tears manual.

On Sunday, my husband informed me he was taking a trip to the Big Box Electronic Store to procure a new hard drive for one of our computers who, by the sound of it, is threatening to give up the ghost. He asked me if I needed anything while he was there. Under my breath I muttered, "Yeah, a new camera." Imagine my surprise when he returned home with this:10X optical zoon, 9 mega-pixels and look at that 'sweet' 3" viewing screen. It only takes 2 AA batteries as opposed to my old behemoths 4 and it's so compact it fits neatly in my purse. I know this camera is fantastic because it's the same one 'Nature Girl' uses. We purchased hers last year for her 15th birthday, so she has a little older model, still, they're pretty much the same, except for my bigger LCD, but her eyesight is still 20/20 so she'll just have to deal.

Yesterday, 'Nature Girl' and I went on a little photo safari to 'Howard's Pond' right after I purchased a carrying case for my new baby. Check out 'this' macro:

This little orange flower was amidst a sea of tiny white flowers, the only one of his kind. Roughly an 1/8" in size, it makes me so happy that he 'dared to be different!' I quite simply love him!

On these next few picks I was struggling with the breeze (which I won't complain about as it served to keep us cool) and fighting the palsy in my hands. Can you see the little bug in the middle of the 'Queen Anne's Lace?'

And look at this one, it's like a little phallyic firework celebration.

I wondered if these berries were edible? They weren't too terribly far away from where the homeless campsite stood, but I wasn't willing to risk searching one of the campers out in order to ask.

And then look who we found... Doh!, a Deer, a female Deer! Now this is a testament to the 10x optical zoom because she wasn't going to let us get too close AND this was a very low light situation.

Gosh I love my new camera!... And Surprises... AND My Husband, Especially My Husband (and not just because he brings me presents.)