Is it just me?

Or does this guy,
Look a hell of a lot like this guy,
The both of them totally creep me out!

Chivalry

I found this one on the site of a fellow blogger and fell in love with it...

"Jessica. For God's sake," he said. "Allow me to do at least one common courtesy for you. In spite of what 'women's lib' teaches you, chivalry does not imply that women are powerless. On the contrary, chivalry is an admission of women's superiority. An acknowledgment of your power over us." - Beth Fantaskey, Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side

What a beautiful thought to share with both my daughter AND my son. Maybe you'll want to share it with yours.

Thoughts on the MTV Movie Awards

The following are thoughts I had while watching the MTV Movie Awards with my kids.

• OMG Robert Pattinson is SO cute!

(C'mon, I'm certainly not the OLDEST woman to be thinking that same thought!)

• OMG How creepy is it that my DAUGHTER is thinking the same exact thing?

(Get a grip and tame that inner cougar.)

• Andy Samberg is funny... Andy Samberg WITHOUT his pants on is not funny.

• You know, Andy Samberg can make a fart joke and it just falls flat with me but then he flashes that little boy grin and it's just like listening to an 8 yr. old kid do something inappropriate and then look all innocent... You just want to laugh and hug 'em... However if you laugh and tell him he's cute, he'll more than likely grow up just like Andy Samberg... But instead of being a successful comedian he'll probably be getting the shit kicked out of him at a neighborhood bar.

• Kristin Stewart is always grabbing her hair, that must be a nervous habit and it's really annoying.

• I might enjoy Eminem more if I could understand the lyrics to this rap. Seriously MTV, audio is a rather important part of a music channel. Wait, Oh, that's right you don't feature music anymore do you?

• The fact that Twilight is winning all these awards is making my daughter SO happy and thus it's making me very happy too!

• I'm really curious what the folks at MTV think about the fact that their voting/viewing audience is comprised of mostly pre-pubescent girls?

• WHY, WHY, WHY MTV... did we HAVE to watch that guy jacking off with the golden popcorn award? Are you not aware that I'm watching this show with my KIDS? And what about ALL those pre-pubescent girls?

• Thinking maybe this is WHY MTV pushes the envelope on taste. Perhaps this is their method for weeding out the Hannah Montana fans.

• Sacha Baron Cohen with his butt cheeks hanging out? Yeah, seen it before with Howard Stern... How freakin' original MTV and then trying to make us believe that Eminem was all pissed about it... Have you NO original ideas?

• Amy Poehler, come back to SNL... I miss you!

• I wonder how pissed the people are over at 'Harry Potter' that the viewing audience is FAR more interested in seeing the clip from 'New Moon'?

• Jim Carrey, still pretty damn funny and hey, even HE wants Robert Pattinson.

• I rather enjoy this parody of the Oscar's with the presentation of the award for Ben Stiller but I'm getting a little sick of Keifer Sutherland playing his bit so far over the top... Tone it down dude, you're supposed to be going for laughs and instead you're just annoying the hell out of me.

Fortunately my kids are old enough I didn't have to acknowledge the inappropriateness that popped up every now and then during the show. It is however a very unpleasant and awkward situation to witness a guy pretending to jack-off to a popcorn statue while you're sitting between you 19 yr. old son and your 16 yr. old daughter.

Thanks for the memories MTV*


*that's sarcasm folks.

What's in a Name?

This mornings paper had an article about the most popular baby names. The piece listed the most popular boy/girl names from the years 1958, 68, 78, 88, 98 and 2008. I read this all with great interest as my friend Lori and I recently had a conversation about how much I hate my name.

Hate my name? Why yes, always have and always will. What is my name?
Mar-JOR-ie (with emphasis on the JOR.)
I was named after a great aunt. Let me tell you, there's nothing sexier than being named after a great aunt (in case you think the name Marjorie IS sexy, it's imperative you read that last sentence with great sarcasm.) As I read the the most popular girls names from 1968, (closest to the year I was born) I can just picture all the cutest, most popular girls I went to school with. All the Lisa's, the Kimberly's and the Melissa's each one of course dotting their i's with a puffy heart. Every single Lisa, Kimberly and Melissa I knew not only dressed in the latest styles, their hair was always perfect and the smelled like Love's Baby Soft. Not that I went around sniffing these girls, because that would just be weird... But you know, when they walked past you, there was always a pleasant scent that wafted by and well, the light just kind of glowed off their skin.

Back to MY name. My name shortened is Margie, but most people shorten it to just 'Marge.' When YOU think of a Marge, what comes to mind? Marge Simpson? Yeah, I get that one a lot... Blue haired bee-hive, middle-aged mom of Bart, Lisa & Maggie. But before Marge Simpson, what's the image of a 'Marge' for you? For me, it was always a tired middle-aged woman, in a tattered bath robe. She has one of those short non-descript hairstyles which require a visit to the beauty salon every other Saturday. The 'Marge' in my head always has a cup of coffee in front of her, a cigarette dangling off her lower lip and bags under her eyes which match the size of the gigantic black handbag she carries when she shops at Sears for her wardrobe. No offense to any other Marge's out there, but this is a stereotype I've carried around in my head for the last 40 some odd years. Do I fit this stereotype? Well I sure as heck try not to. In fact, for the longest time I refused to drink coffee. I don't smoke, I try to keep my hair long and I hate carrying a purse. As for my clothes? Well, I DON'T shop at Sears. Penny's sometimes but NEVER Sears (I know, big difference, right?)

Anyway, my friend Lori thinks if I hate my name so much I should choose one I like and just start having everyone call me by the NEW name. Um yeah, somehow I just don't see that really working. I mean obviously if you've spent your entire life answering to the same name, you can't easily answer to something new. Do people actually do this? Well, at least people who aren't in a witness protection program. And I wonder, what exactly should my new name be? There's always 'Princess Consuela Bananahammock' but I think that one's taken. I like Amy, Marissa, Mandy or Mindy (maybe if I stay with the M's it'll be an easier transition.)

But who the hell am I kidding. I don't see myself as a Mindy or a Marissa. I don't smell like Love's Baby Soft. My skin doesn't 'glow' and I AM a middle-aged house-wife. So I guess I'll just be happy I'm alive and I'm ME and I'll just try to be the best damn ME I can be. But someday, if I become a great-aunt? Please don't name your daughter after me... The poor kid.

It is Written

I'm starting a new (fairly major) project and as a result was looking through my book of quotes today and ran across this one:

A handwritten personal letter has become a genuine modern-day luxury, like a child's pony ride.
-Shana Alexander

Here's a suggestion... When you get the chance, write out a letter or jot down a short note. Slip it into an envelope and send it to someone you care for. All it takes is a few moments and a stamp. Trust me, that small effort will add such a bright spot to someones day.

Because,
'The written word remains. The spoken word takes wing and cannot be recalled.'
-Horace

Why?

When I know I have a full day tomorrow, why oh why do I stay up until all hours poking around the web?

Masochism, I guess.

Watching (the original) Freaky Friday

Wow, I remember really liking this movie when I saw it roughly a hundred years ago... Now, it sucks!

How did that happen?

Complete & Utter Indecision...

Okay, here's the thing...

There's this little shop on Main St. It's really cute, a large room, 2 bay window seats look out right onto the street. I was asked to decorate the windows for a group of artisans that would be moving in to sell their wares during the month of December. You see, the shop has been empty for quite a while and the owner offered rent to the Alliance for a mere $400 for the month... Better some money than none at all, I guess.

Anyway, there were a few people interested in renting the shop at $100 a piece. In order to cover the rent, the Alliance paid up front. However, only one artisan has come through. He's happy to pay his portion of the rent, problem is he just doesn't have people to cover hours at the shop. More artisans are really needed to make this work.

Here's where I come in. Because of the help I've given the Alliance this week, I've been offered a share in the shop for NO DOLLARS! Completely FREE! My problem?... I'm not sure I have enough items to sell. I DO have several cards but people don't tend to 'Card Shop' (Thank-you, Anniversary, Happy Birthday, Welcome Baby) when they're searching for Christmas gifts. I have a few framed pieces but surely not enough to put into a shop. The other problem is there's no real semblance of the framed pieces I have. I'm kind of a theme oriented person. I'd hate for the place to look like a mish-mash of junk.... And ultimately, I'm afraid I'll be tied down to the place during the busiest month of the year, just so a warm body is present so people can browse. On the other hand it's an opportunity and it's FREE!

I have a difficult time just trying to decide what brand of toothpaste to buy... Decisions like this leave me completely paralyzed.

WAIT!!! I think I've come up with an idea!!!
Oh, thanks so much for listening!

Right?!

The boy and I have been getting along fabulously lately. We converse, we discuss, we debate topics the likes of -

"Have you eaten?" (He's 6'1", 120 something lbs. and he forgets to eat, it's an issue!)

"Yes, I'm quite sure you DO need a new laptop, have you considered that job thing we talked about?"

And

"I'm not sure why your sister treats you like dirt. Do you really want to drag me in the middle of that again? Don't you think it would be better to work this out with her?"

I call attention to these discussions because I have the annoying habit of ending each of them with "Right?" Sometimes I'll phrase it in other ways, such as, "Don't you think I'm right?"... "C'mon, you know I'm right!"... "You know what I mean, Right?"

Part of my current studies over the last 10 months have included Inter-Personal Relationships and the study of the Art of the Dialectic... Which is fancy talk for 'How to converse well.' It's interesting to note, that the person doing the talking, controls the conversation. Yet, the person who replies with a question regains control.

Therefore, when I'm talking with my son, with whom I'm trying to achieve an Adult/Adult relationship, as opposed to a Parent/Child relationship (see the book, 'I'm Okay, You're Okay' by, Thomas A. Harris, MD.) I simply MUST learn to refrain from trying to maintain control......

Right?!

Know It All

I enjoyed a long conversation over the phone with my sister yesterday. We don't get to indulge in those very often due to the 3 hour time difference and the fact she has two little people who keep her on the run. I was in the middle of cleaning bathrooms when the phone rang and her call was the perfect excuse to take a break from scouring my shower.

Midway through all of the catching up, our conversation took an interesting turn. We were talking about our kids, her 22 yr. old daughter and my 18 yr. old son (yes, she has a 22 yr. old, a 6 yr. old AND a 2 yr. old... I know, YIKES!) . We were agreeing on how no matter what we tell our kids, they seem to believe they KNOW everything! It's a universal fact. When you're that age, everyone else is an idiot and, quite simply, your not! My sister and I began reminiscing about ourselves at that age. Mostly we were just struggling to survive in a volatile environment and we never considered uttering a word of disagreement for fear of physical retribution BUT, we still managed to believe in our hearts we KNEW everything!

So, I got to thinking to myself... Now that I really DO know everything (Ha! that's a lie, part of being a mature adult is being able to admit you know Nothing, which is STILL roughly 97% more than your young adult offspring.) I should make a list of things I wish I knew then, that I know now. So the following is what I was able to come up with...

Things I Know Now, I WISH I Knew Then:

• Self Confidence will help you weather the slings and arrows of Jr. High & High School.
• Really take time to LEARN the things you're being taught in school, rather than just doing enough to 'get by'... Knowledge is Power!
• Think about your future and make plans to do something with it.
  
• Be outgoing and friendly with Everyone at school, not just those in your 'social circle.'
• P.E. doesn't really suck. Maybe if you invest a little energy in it, you'll set a precedent for your future physical health.
• Be proud of the figure you have, you're not going to have it forever.
• That guy Chuck that you think is so amazingly cute, when he whistles at you, don't be shy, go over and talk to him.
• Don't wish your life away waiting for the next Great moment.
• When at 17, you meet that guy, who at first sight you think is a total dork... Be nice, he's going to be your husband.
• That woman that has made your world a living hell since the day she married your dad... The day is going to come when she won't matter ANY MORE and she'll no longer have any power over you.
  

There are so many other items and moments that come to mind. But I think I hit on the most important things... Self-Esteem, Education, Self Awareness, A Friendly Nature, Live In The Moment but also know when things are going horribly... This Too Shall Pass.

I've tried to TELL my kids these things but they'll be in their 40's before they really know them to be true.

Armchair Ponderings

A few random thoughts come to mind when I'm watching the Olympics:

• Look at the muscles on those men!
• Look at the muscles on those women?!
• How do they DO that?
• That is AMAZING?
• I'm tired from just WATCHING this competition!
• How can I get one of these specimens of strength & endurance to landscape my yard?

It's Yoga and It's HOT!

So last night was my first 'Bikram (HOT) Yoga' class. It started at 7:30, I arrived at 7:45... I was hoping I'd be too late but being the first night of the session it took a while to get everyone signed in so I was right on time... Lucky me!

Having completed my first HOT Yoga class I came away with 3 things and they are:

1. I didn't realize ankles sweat.

2. It really doesn't matter what you look like when you do yoga in a group. Everyone is so into getting their own pose correct they could care less what you're doing. Except for the instructor but he's supposed to make sure you're positioned right. And man, do you want to please that guy... Not because he intimidates you but because he's kinda cute and you want to look like the best damn Yoga Guru you possibly can... Although, there are some positions that are just plain impossible for this body. For instance, laying on the floor, bringing my knees to my chest and crossing my arms over my knees, then grabbing each elbow. This may be an easy task for a 'skinny' girl... A chubby girl, not so much! Perhaps I'll grow longer arms before the session ends?

3. Post Bikram Yoga sleep is the best damn rest you'll ever know. Lately I've been an insomniac. Just the night before last I couldn't shut my brain down until well after 2:00am. So many concerns about the design project I'm working on spin through my head throughout the day and as soon as I hit the pillow all the details begin to make me anxious. Last night however, I was out before I even settled into a comfortable position. However, because of all that water I was drinking I woke suddenly twice during the night with a powerful urge to go. Usually I wake slowly and kind of decide whether it's indeed necessary to head to the bathroom. Not last night! Last night it was WAKE UP & GO! Then head back to bed and fall back into that deep wonderful sleep immediately after the head hits the pillow.

It goes without mentioning that I'm a little sore today. Mostly my back, legs and upper arms (probably from trying to grab the elbows that were wrapped around me knees) but maybe, just maybe, I feel kinda good. Kinda like I did something nice for myself, for this body that although I don't take very good care of it, it takes good care of me. I can't say I'm 'Looking Forward' to my next class tomorrow night (ugh!) but I'm no longer filled with anxiety about the horrors of sweating my guts out. Nor am I thrilled with the idea of the pain associated with holding a position that makes every muscle in my body scream, "What the HELL do you think you're doing woman?" What I am looking forward to is the post yoga experience. The worn out high I felt and another terrific nights sleep.

Word of the Day

Transom

For some reason this word has been swirling around in my head all morning. I love the way it sounds and what it means... A window or panel of light directly above a doorway. It's not only beautiful architecturally but also in a figurative sense.

So put that in your pocket and pull it out sometime when you're grasping for something to think about.