Dyslexic Painters

We're painting the walls in my daughters room two different contrasting colors. Before we started painting the first color we had to make the decision which walls would we paint with Color A and which walls would we paint with Color B (she has a weirdly angled room with more than just four walls.) Having arrived at our decision we began 'cutting-in' with Color A and BOTH of us almost immediately began painting the wrong walls, the wrong color because THAT'S how short our attention span is.

Re-Decorating

My arms ache, my shoulders hurt, my legs are wobbly and my house looks like a cyclone hit it... My daughter and I are re-decorating her bedroom. Yesterday, with my sons help, we wrestled getting extremely tight screws loose from walls with our crappy little screwdrivers because my husband, who is still in Virginia visiting his mom, took the power drill and palm sander with him. I really didn't begin to get upset until I spent nearly a 1/2 hour trying to remove 4 little pin-head, penny nails, that had been used to support 4 little 5 oz. frames, from the 4 2x4's he had nailed them into... It was only once I became engaged in that little task that I began cursing his name in 7 different languages... And I really only know 1.

We were saved when 'The Captain' came by with his power drill and palm sander. It made it SO MUCH EASIER for my son to remove the curtain rod... And let it be now and forever known that NEVER in the history of my life will I allow ANYONE I know place any glow in the dark item to the ceiling with sticky putty! There is a special place in hell for the creators of this item. Thus the reason the palm sander became such a useful tool.

Though the only painting I've done thus far, along with my daughters help, has been the ceiling, my arms are quite literally ready to simply drop right off my body. I'm sure that by tomorrow I'm going to feel a hell of a lot worse!

Hotness!

A week ago we attended a dinner at TNS (my kids school)... Being it was a sort of holiday themed dinner I thought I'd get a little dressier than usual. What with all the holiday fare that has come my way in the past 5 weeks or so, I'm feeling pudgier, to put it nicely, than I did roughly 6 months ago... So much for that 20, even 10 lb. weight loss by 2007... That ship sailed a couple of months ago, au revoir, adios, buh bye!

Anyway, back to the point... For the dinner that night I pulled on my ever tighter jeans, a lace cami and a low v-neck sweater. I left the hair in a mass of curls, threw on some jewelry (which I seldom do anymore, now that I'm so into pottery.) and made do with what the good lord gave me... and all the rest of I've so gluttonously added to it.

While sitting around gabbing with a few of the other Mom's, Amy, the woman who now and forever shall be known as one of my dearest friends, looked at me and said, "God Margie, you look HOT tonight, if I were a lesbian I'd totally DO you!" You gotta know Amy to understand that this was one of the highest compliments one could ever receive... And yes, for the rest of the evening I held my head a little higher, kept my back a little straighter, (which in turn made my boobs look a bit perkier) and I'd swear my pants felt a little looser too (well, then again, they do have a tendancy to do that until I wash them again.)

Thanks Amy for your sentiment made for such a lovely holiday present... And don't worry, I think the other Mothers will tire of talking about us long before the end of the school year.

What the #&%@!!!

True, I've been quite busy and off in other states as of late... And True, it's impossible... Make that IMPOSSIBLE to try to blog from my Mother-in-laws computer while she insists on using dial-up... And True, I haven't tried to log into 'Blogger' since Saturday but c'mon! I tried several times on both Friday and Saturday only to be frustrated beyond belief because 'Blogger' wouldn't accept my password. Something must have changed since then because here I am... And what do I have to blog about?... The same damn thing I blogged about the last time I posted!

The Spirit of Christmas

The other night my daughter and I went out together and finished her Christmas shopping together... Whew!

The next morning I decided to for-go my morning walk and instead wandered down the hall to her room, still in my pajamas, and snuggled up under the covers with her... She often begs me to do this, but I'm more often than not, too busy to take the time.

As we lay there together, under the warmth of the blankets, snuggled up against eachother in her little twin-size bed, we discussed plans for when we were going to get together to wrap her gifts and she turned to me and said with a voice filled with gleeful delight, "Mom, I just can't wait for Christmas!" I asked her if it was because she couldn't wait to see what she was getting. Her reply, "Oh no, I haven't really thought much about that. I just can't wait to have people open the gifts that I'm giving them!"

I'm so proud that my little... I mean, not so little girl really understands the true meaning of Christmas.

Quick Rant

What is UP with Blogger?

What used to be a quick and therapeutic 'posting moment' has turned into a frustrating and timely process. I used to be able to post directly through Picasa... That doesn't work anymore! I used to be able to log directly into my posting site... That doesn't work anymore, at least not until I go through 3 pages of passwords! Sometimes I post a picture and it works... Sometimes I have to go through the task of uploading it 2 or 3 times! I used to be able to move my comments out of Outlook directly into my blog but, you guessed it, 3 pages of passwords and log-ins preceed that task.

Am I doing something incorrectly or did Google just totally screw up Blogger? And now they're asking me to update again!?

Finally finished decorating the foyer... whew!

I wish, this pic taken at Longwood Gardens - Kennett Square, Pennsylvania

Two O'Clock in the Morning...

There's no doubt about it! 6:30 am is going to come and I'm gonna wake up exhausted, that is IF I ever get BACK to sleep. I had the misfortune of waking up over an hour ago to use the bathroom, which usually results in my stumbling back to bed, never having fully awakened in the first place... Not so THIS time! THIS time visions of unwrapped gifts, gifts that need to be shipped, boxes that need to be found, bubble wrap that needs to be purchased, unfinished pottery projects (ie. gifts), Christmas cards still unaddressed sitting in the boxes in which I purchased them, A Christmas letter that needs multiple color copies which means a trip to Staples, the thought that in my hustle to help my kids complete their family Christmas shopping I inadvertantly helped them choose duplicate gifts for their Dad, ALL of these things began dancing in my head... Plus I have indigestion and a stuffy nose.

OH what I wouldn't give for a long winters nap right about now.

Inside the Envelope...

My husband is always in charge of the 'Christmas Letter'... You know the one, the letter that's tucked into your holiday cards giving an account of the family's comings and goings throughout the year. I never envy him this task. It's so difficult to find the balance between "We'd like to share with you what we've been up to." vs. "We'd like to let you know... What we bought, Where we went, How simply amazing OUR kids our and how bright and shiny OUR life is and Don't YOU wish YOU were US!" Of course close family members and dear friends are most likely interested in all of those things... However, it's a pretty good bet they're already aware of the details of your year, even as those events transpired.

It's the cards to the people who have been on your mailing list for 10 yrs. or more... The ones you haven't seen since your son was in a stroller... The people you might not recognize if you passed them in the mall... Those are the people you're REALLY writing the Christmas letter for, am I right? Because hey, if there's a Christmas letter tucked inside of a card, I'm reading that before I ever glance at the printed poem or Hallmark greeting... Admit it, you do the same! It's fun to get a glimpse into the lives of others... Especially those people that every so often come up in conversation and you sit back and wonder what they've been up to... Thus the beauty of 'The Christmas Letter'.

My husband has many years of 'Christmas Letter' writing under his belt... It's not really something he enjoys doing... In fact he usually groans when I inform him that it's on his To Do List... But I figure if I'm in charge of the majority of the shopping, wrapping & cooking... The least he can do is come up with a few paragraphs about what our family has been up to. I'll take over getting the envelopes addressed and including a personal greeting.

The point I was beginning to make is this... My husband puts a lot of effort into producing a letter that is creative and unique. There have been letters written from our children's point of view, when they were babies... Letters written from the dogs perspective... And in 2001 my husband wrote a beautiful letter regarding our country and how grateful we are for the freedoms we possess (I had friends share with me that they saved that particular letter because of its poigniancy.) He really is an amazing writer and I'm sure regardless of his angst over this years letter... He'll once again find, what I believe is the perfect balance.

The bright white light...

Yesterday I did my daughter the supreme favor of racing to the pet store to get Rosey Red 'feeder' fish for her turtle. Rosey Red's are small goldfish that sell for 10 cents a piece.

The thing that makes this such a selfless act, is it meant I had to take on the job of scooping the little buggers out of their bag with a little green net and gingerly place them into the tank. This looks and sounds a LOT easier than it actually is. With my first dip the turtle 'Neville', being ravenously hungry grabbed hold of the first fish he could get a grip on... Unfortunately that fish was still inside the little green net. This resulted in a laborious game of tug-of-war that featured me pleading with 'Neville' to just "Let go!" and then he could have his fish... He's a smart turtle so eventually he took my advice. The second dip involved one of the rosey reds leaping out of the net, much like one of those 'Lords' from that annoyingly repetitive Christmas tune. The thing was he lept directly into an empty fish bowl on the floor in front of the tank where his little fishy body stuck to the sides of the bowl... I tried shaking him out but that only resulted in having him smack the other wall of the bowl and get stuck there! After what seemed an eternity of 'smacking' the fish around an empty fish bowl I finally did that thing which I didn't think I was capable of, oh sure I can scour out toilets but THIS!... I reached in the bowl and touched the fish with my bare finger. I flinched and felt bile rise in the back of my throat but eventually got him unstuck and plopped into the tank where he could die a more humane death than that of suffocation... He could instead be bitten in half by a ravenous turtle! I'm able to feel much more at peace with the universe knowing it wasn't be my hand that he went to meet his maker... I was simply transferring him from one container of water to another.... With a minor slip-up along the way, which might have slowed his progress in an effort to escape the jaws of a ravenous turtle... However, I was just doing my job!

I tell this story because as I was purchasing the fish a rather absurd thought jumped into my head. When you go to the fish department and ask for 30 rosey reds the employee takes a plastic bin, fills it with water and then scoops the fish out with (what else!) a little green net. Once the employee has filled the plastic container with your desired number of fish, he/she transfers them to a clear plastic bag which is tied off with a rubber band. I then took the bag o' fish up to the register where I paid $3.00 and the checker placed the fish into a white plastic grocery bag. That's when I was struck with the notion, "I wonder what's going through the fish's head?" I think it goes something like this:

"Swimming, I'm swimming, I just keep swimming."
"Oh NO! What's that green thing?"
"AAAAaaaa, AAaaaa, it's got Moe, it's got Slim, Aaaaa it's got ME!"
"Owww Moe, you just slapped me in the eye with your tail!"
"Whoa, more water.... Whew!"
"Whoa, new tank, it's more crowded but I can see EVERYTHING from here!"
"Hey Slim, you got any idea what's goin.... Uh, uh-oh we're moving again!"
"Whoa... Wha?... We've suddenly been surrounded by a bright white light... So this is the other side, the one that Gimpy spoke of before he went belly-up in that big tank a few days ago."
"It feels warm and a bit peaceful here, that is if it weren't for all these other guys bodies slamming into mine."
"I now have time to reflect on my life... I don't remember too much, I've heard tell that we fish have only a 3 second memory... That must be why I'm always seeing so many new faces."
"So I guess this is heaven."
" Uh, NO wait... Seems we're on the move again... Whoa!"
"Another green thingy... Oh crap will this misery NEVER END?"

You can imagine the rest from there... I embellished a bit since my first thought about the white plastic bag yesterday but hey, those are the types of things that go through my head. Try as you might though, no matter what type of creature you are I guess we're all going to meet up with that white light eventually.

When the milk expires...

I apologize that I keep harping on this Christmas 'time crunch' thing... But it freaked me out when I grocery shopped on Monday and the milk was stamped with the expiration date of 12-25.

So in essence that means I've gotta get all this crap done before my milk expires???

Deep cleansing breaths... In and Out... In and Out....

Kickin' It...

I have a pair of boots that I refer to as my 'Kick Ass Boots'... I actually wrote it on the side of the shoe box because hey, to me they're the 'Ass Kickin'est Boots' I've ever owned.



However, on Saturday night we attended a party where one of the girls was wearing these -



Now THAT's a pair of KICK ASS BOOTS!

They make my feet hurt just looking at 'em.

"Won't you join us?"

While in a meeting with some friends on Friday night my son (such a wonderful lad) piped up and said, "Before we go on with the meeting let me just say what a wonderful time we had last year with you at our 'Christmas Caroling Party' and I was wondering if you might like to join us again this year?"

Our friends said that, "Yes indeed, we had a wonderful time and would love to join you again this year."

Cut to me sitting there with a smile plastered on my face saying to myself, "Oh yes, another caroling party... That would be lovely.... When in the name of heaven am I going to find time to pull this together?... Why didn't Zak warn me that he was going to throw that on my plate?"

Don't get me wrong... It's not that I don't want to have a Christmas party this year. It's just that it's already Dec. 11th and I'm barely keeping my head above water... What with the shopping, the Christmas cards, the gifts I'm trying to make, keeping up the laundry, the house, the finance stuff and on top of all that I have to take the car to get it smogged.

Then I think back to the party last year and how all of our friends joined together in a sing-along and the joy, the beautiful music shared, the fellowship and the pure delightfulness of the evening... It's something I know I'd miss if we didn't host it again this year.

Yesterday morning over breakfast I told my son that I was on board for the party ONLY if he would work out a date with our friends, help with the invitations, help decide what food to serve and help get the house cleaned up for guests. My husband and my daughter also agreed to the same conditions. So if you don't see many posts in the next couple of weeks, just picture me like that proverbial chicken with the missing head.

Crunch!

All I have time to say is... This Christmas 'stuff' is really putting a crimp in my ability to getting much blogging done.

Collective Amnesia...

Call to Mom -

Me: "Hi Mom... Question for you... I'm going to get Kathy towels for Christmas do you remember the color of the tile in her main bathroom?"

Mom: "Oh Gee... Let me think a minute... *chuckle* I really can't remember."

Note: We've only been to Kathy & Andy's house half a million times but damned if we can remember the color of the tile in their bathroom.

Me: "That's the problem, *chuckle* I can't remember for the life of me."

Mom: "We'll I'm going to be seeing Andy tonight, I could ask him for you."

Me: "That won't work, I'm standing in front of the bath towels right this minute so I kinda need to make a decision... I'm thinking it's blue so I currently have blue towels in my cart."

Mom: "Well, I guess that'll work and if not, she always has the downstairs bathroom but I can't remember what color the tile is in that one either."

Me: "Yep, I had the same thought."

Later the same day -

Me: "Hey hon, do you remember the color of the tile in Kathy & Andy's main bath? I bought towels for Kathy for Christmas."

Husband: "I laugh that you would expect me to remember something like that?"

Later still -

Me: "Hey sweetie, do you remember the color of the tile in the bathroom at Kathy's house?"

Daughter: "Huh? I'm thinking but I can't remember."

Me: "I'm thinking it's blue."

Daughter: "I can't remember, but I know it's definitly not blue."

Me: "Well, what about her downstairs bathroom?"

Daughter: "She HAS a downstairs bathroom?"

Conclusion - I purchased the blue towels because EVEN if her bathroom doesn't have blue tile... These towels are SO spectacular she's going to want to completely remodel the bath just to have them match... But just in case, I'm hanging on to the receipt.

Snowman on a plate

As demonstrated here, my daughter looks for EVERY opportunity to display her artistic talents... Meaning ANYTHING can be considered a palette

I love that about kids, they don't limit themselves and are capable of thinking outside the box... Check out this video which illustrates my point - http://youtube.com/watch?v=urCkKsCFdos

Behold, the snowman pancake!

Because sometimes it's okay to play with your food.

Who killed Frosty?

During my morning walks I like to admire the houses in my neighborhood... I like the way folks adorn their front porches and landscape their yards to impart a bit of originality... Without these things it's a very cookie-cutter development.

Now that the Christmas season is here it's nice to behold the individuality of the holiday decor adorning the outside of the homes... The wreaths on the doors, The boughs strung along the porch rails and the lights, even though they're darkened in the light of day. The one thing I DON'T appreciate however (AND YOU JUST KNEW THERE'D BE SOMETHING FOR ME TO BITCH ABOUT) are those lawn ornaments deflated on the front lawns... In the light of morning they resemble nothing more than brightly colored trash bags strewn across the neighborhood. I understand that you wouldn't want to keep your 6 ft. tall, fabric, Frosty the Snowman powered up all day... Especially with the added annoyance of having to listen to the fan noise blustering 24 hours a day... But folks, are you aware of how really horrible looking these items appear, collapsed in giant heaps all over your yards? Rather than filling me with holiday glee, my mind is instead filled with visions of WWII paratroopers shot through the heart as they slowly drifted to the ground... Their bodies now shrouded with gayly printed parachute fabric.

It's pretty windy in this part of the country today... There is one home up the street that apparently feels the same way I do about the 'collapsed' blow-up figures in the yard. This particular house keeps their Santa & Snowman fully inflated 24-7... I'm not sure they're aware however, that the GIANT black straps they've attached to the creatures in order to keep them tethered, give off a very S&M feel... Or who knows, perhaps that's what they were going for? As for the rest of the inflatable lawn ornaments? Maybe they've already blown away!

Anna Banana Sunday - Squirrel Patrol

Anna Keeps those pesky critters from stealing the bird seed and plundering the planters on our deck... A stalwart sentinel, on guard to leap and attack... All she needs is someone ready to open the door!

What? I'm just doin' my job!