Chicken Rolls Recipe (For Carrie)

From the Valentine Post, I give you...

Chicken Rolls (Prepare to dirty EVERY dish in your kitchen!)
1 4 count pkg. of boneless chicken breasts
1 container of whipped cream cheese w/ chives
2 pkgs. of crescent rolls
1 stick of melted butter/margarine
5 slices of bread (crumble in food processor)
1 can of cream of chicken or cream of mushroom soup
1 c. milk

Boil chicken breasts until cooked through. Crumble bread in food processor. Cool chicken and finely chop in food processor. Salt and pepper chicken to taste and add cream cheese until well blended (I usually do this with a fork.) Melt margarine in a shallow dish in microwave. Separate crescent rolls and drop heaping tablespoons into the center of each. Fold crescents and seal around chicken mixture. Roll chicken roll in melted butter and then bread crumbs. Bake at 375 on sheet pan until golden brown (about 25-30 min.)

While the rolls bake, add soup to a small pan. Slowly stir in milk and heat through, making a thick gravy. Serve over chicken rolls.

And now you've dirtied every pot, pan and dish you own. However, if your kids don't mind helping in the kitchen and getting their hands messy they can help roll the rolls in the butter and bread crumbs. Unfortunately for me, my kids STILL get the willies over getting their hands dirty. So for me, chicken rolls have always been a solitary project.

Valentine

Note: I hate calling it V-day because it sounds like a disease.

So yesterday was Valentine's Day and I thought to myself, "Here I sit just perusing Facebook and bopping around on the web, why not post something on the long forgotten blog?" So here I am.... Posting, that is.

Valentine's day for our family is mostly understated. There's never a BIG romantic dinner out, sometimes roses but not always, usually a card from that guy I sleep with every night and Chicken Rolls.

Chicken Rolls? Yes, Chicken Rolls, the most time consuming, dirty dish inducing, recipe in my repertoire, which of course makes it the family favorite. So, I show my undying affection for those I love each and every Valentine's Day by slaving away in the kitchen. I should add it's also the one day out of the entire year in which I set the table with crystal, china and linens. 'Cause it's nice to be classy at least one day out of the year.

Now I wouldn't say my family has come to expect their favorite meal and all it's fanciness and you know why? Because every single year I manage to convince them it's just not happening because I have any number of other things on my plate (on my plate! see how I did that?) And every year they look at me with a mild expression which scarcely manages to hide their disappointment and say, "That's okay Mom, I (we) understand." It's always a joy to witness the fist pumps when they realize I've come through, despite the scheduling conflicts.

But you know something... This whole fancy dinner thing is getting SO much harder to pull off now that we're each running in a different direction. With a soon to be 18 and 21 yr. old in the house and me with an ever changing schedule at the shop, it's a wonder I can manage a 'Family Dinner' at least one day out of the week, which has always been a huge priority until recently.

I have to say that last night lacked the luster our Valentine's Dinners normally hold as 'Computer Boy' had to work until 9:00. So there were only the three of us and a wrapped up plate in the fridge, which tends to lose a little bit of it's flavor when it's reheated in the microwave and the only one at the table at 9:30pm is your mom watching you eat. Kudos to the boy for not complaining.

Maybe next year when he's away at college we'll go out for one of those fancy restaurant meals and I can forgo the Chicken Roll kitchen massacre. Oh wait, that's right, we won't have any money for things like that when he's in college... Hellloooooo, Chicken Rolls.

To Give Is Divine!

My husband and I debated back and forth for weeks, months actually. The kids both wanted laptops... Nay, NEEDED laptops... But 'that much money' as a Christmas gift... For BOTH of our offspring seemed, well, OVER indulgent!

The boy, well, his laptop was well into antique stage... I guess we got him that for Christmas something like 5 maybe 6 years ago. Surely it belongs in some museum somewhere and the noises it had been making every time he used it, led us to believe it just might give up the ghost at any moment.

The girl, well, like most 2nd children she survived on hand-me-downs or just had to do without. MY laptop became her recent 'dumping' ground for ALL those photos she takes and my hard drive was beginning to groan with the strain of it all.

It wasn't an easy decision for my husband who kept mumbling phrases like, "Wish MY parents had been 'rich' when I was growing up!"... "Laptop bags cost WHAT? I'm not spending ANOTHER penny, this Christmas is just getting outrageous!" (or something to that effect and that's when I had to set him straight by telling him, "Listen, either you go through with this gift, giving it with a generous heart or DON'T bother GIVING it at ALL!"... At which point he acquiesced and never made another derogatory statement.)

Christmas eve morning arrived (the day we give our gifts to one another before venturing off to spend time with family) and we went through our usual routine of the youngest handing out her gifts first, then my son and then my husband and I exchanging gifts back and forth, whilst giving the kids a gift here and there. It was a very generous Christmas indeed and the kids just assumed that the videos, tickets to a show, various clothing items and books culminated this years Christmas 'take'... They were completely flummoxed by the large box my husband and I pulled out from the back of the tree at the end, a box that listed both of their names on the 'To:' portion of the tag. Once they got the tape loosened from the box and made their way through the piles of paper filler inside, they discovered 2 laptop bags. That's when my husband said, "For Someday." My daughter says she immediately thought, "Maybe I'll get a laptop for my birthday" which is in April. My son says he thought possibly the laptops had been ordered but not yet arrived. But then 'Dad' said, "Or you could go look in my office."

The ensuing clamor as both kids jumped to their feet and raced up the stairs left both my husband and I laughing. Especially when we heard my daughter yell to her brother, "No fair, your legs are longer!" Her brother politely stood at the top of the stairs, stepped back and said, "After you." There was a long pause once they entered the office and my husband and I both yelled up, "Hey, open 'em up down here please!" They both came down the stairs much more carefully then they'd climbed them, both cradling their still wrapped gifts.

My husband and I watched as our two wonderful kids opened their laptops with mile wide smiles upon their faces and that's when my daughter looked up and said, "I'm gonna cry." And then, this daughter of mine who isn't one who is easily moved to tears... Her eyes begin to fill up which in turn made my eyes fill up... And all that doubt my husband and I had regarding 'Over Indulgence' went right out the window because we knew how truly grateful our kids really were for the gifts they'd received... We've been thanked dozens of times by both of them in the last few days... And another really big advantage... I can use MY laptop again, without having to kick someone off of it... Well, except for maybe my husband.

Beat The Clock

Is it true, tomorrow makes us only 9 short days away from Christmas? But how can that be?

• I just started MY shopping today.
• I have just half of my Christmas cards signed and addressed.
  
• While we DID manage to get the tree up and the house decorated, my living and family room are littered with storage containers, unused strands of lights and all those magazines I managed to purge which now need to be taken to the recycling center. (It was one of those stupid activities which had me thinking I had an unlimited amount of extra time on my hands.
• Oh and let's see, what else? There's that little matter of landing another front page story in the local newspaper about donating my gift wrapping services to raise money for our local hospice foundation. Either people are going to forget about the article OR this time next week, I'm gonna be up to my eyeballs in gift wrap.
  

Little wonder I don't seem to be able to catch up to the speed of those hands spinning around the face of the clock on my wall... But you know what? I'm still able to take deep cleansing breaths.... It'll all get done... And if it doesn't? Nobody's really going to care because I'm fortunate my kids have reached the age where they're not asking how many days 'til Christmas but instead saying, "Are you freakin' kidding me, there's ONLY 9 days 'til Christmas?... *deep breath* *deep breath*

Gotta' love it!

Post-Halloween Wrap-Up

So Halloween was kind of a bust.

We had a few trick-or-treaters, a few of the really cute little ones who show up in the early part of the evening and are either frightened of the whole idea of accepting candy from strangers OR are ready to walk into your house and check to see if you have anything cool to play with.

However, just as Halloween 'officially' got itself underway, the heavens opened and it rained monsoon style. You know what that means don't you? Yep! A big-ass bowl of Halloween candy is currently sitting on my kitchen counter. Talk about runnin' with the devil!

Anyway, Halloween wasn't a complete wash. We had our friends over for a pizza party and some pool. The best conversation topic of the evening was, "If I were 'hot' what slutty costume would I wear?" Seeing as there's a monstrous bowl of candy currently residing nearby, it's safe to say there are no slutty costumes in my future.

Here are a few of the costumes we came up with, can you think of any others:
slutty nurse
slutty maid
slutty cheerleader
slutty witch
slutty fairy
slutty pirate
slutty bunny (I especially liked the way the title of this one rolls of the tongue.)

We had completely forgotten about 'slutty teenager' until my husband and I went shopping yesterday and saw a group of girls wearing THE.... SHORTEST.... SHORTS, I've witnessed since high school, when in 1982 the students in our school staged a sit-in (so 1960's) over the banning of 'Sex Wax T-shirts' and 'Dolphin Shorts' (anyone remember these?)
Now considered part of the Official uniform of the 'Hooters' waitress. So yeah, don't forget the 'slutty teenager' costumes. Oh, and I guess 'slutty waitress' should also be added to the list.

I'm Gonna Make Myself A Hat!

Don't you just love the holidays?

Does the idea of shopping downtown on a quaint little Main street somewhere warm your cockles (cockles?)

How about picturing that Main street filled with holiday charm, each window aglow with sparkling lights and magical holiday goodness?Yeah? Me too! Somehow, because I too cling to this 'vision', you're now reading the ramblings of the Design Committee Chairman for my little home town. The committee, I should add, currently consists of.... wait for it.... wait for it.....

Moi! and.... wait for it........ wait for it.......

That's it! Just Moi!... Me.... Me, Myself and I... And no, that doesn't count as 3 people, it's still just one. ONE, an indivisible number... I am a rock, I am an Iiiii-land.

Today I have sealed my fate as the town idiot...............*pause*
......... You know, I'd like to take a moment here and exclaim that as 'The New Town Idiot', I'm going to make myself a tri-corner paper hat and inscribe on it, with a black sharpie, in a curly serify font, in HUGE CAPITALIZED LETTERS, with a giant arrow pointing straight down... TOWN IDIOT!

Or maybe this one will do:
So, what was I saying? Oh yes, Today I sealed my fate by addressing a gathering of town merchants to implore them to allow ME to 'help' them decorate their shop windows for the holidays... Thereby insuring either my vision of holiday goodness will be fulfilled OR My family will have me donning and cinching up a straight jacket festooned with sparkly, SPARKLY, garland...

I'll keep you posted.

My Love/Hate Relationship with Valentine's Day

It's that time of year again... Freakin' Valentine's Day!

My earliest crappy memory of V-Day occurred just shy of the holiday on Feb. 9, 1971. I was 6 yrs. old, in first grade and had all of my classmates valentines cards carefully organized on a shelf in my room in the house where I lived with my dad and grandparents. At 6:00am I was jolted awake by a thunderous noise and violent shaking. My bed seemed a thing possessed as it shuddered & shimmied its way across my room. I laid there as still as possible, somewhat in shock as to exactly what was going on.

My dad eventually appeared in my doorway, shouting my name. He was afraid I might be gravely injured, since I wasn't moving a muscle, just laying stiff on my bed which had taken on a life of its own. Once I realized my dad was calling me I sat up and in one fell swoop he had me in his arms and was struggling down the hall to get us out of the house.

Both of my grandparents, my dad and myself made it out of the house. My grandpa had suffered an injury to his knee when the washing machine shifted and caught his leg between itself and a cabinet but other than that we were none the worse for wear. I remember well, all of us sitting in lawn chairs in the backyard for several hours, wrapped in blankets to ward off the chill of the cold morning air. My dad and grandpa were unsure if the house was structurally sound or if there might be a gas leak. It was also important to be careful of aftershocks following the quake. So the sun was high in the sky before the men felt it safe enough to go back inside the house.

As for me, my mind was centered on school. Would I be able to go today? (No, not for another 2 weeks due to some damage to the school.) Would we still have a Valentine Party? and did the rock-candy experiment our class had worked on survive the earthquake? All the answers of course were NO.

I don't have much of a memory as to the damage incurred to our home. A lot of broken dishes and food on the floor because cupboard doors had flown open and spilled their contents (kitchen cupboards all across the region were all fitted with latches following the quake.) I also remember the washer and dryer had pulled loose from the wall and were standing in the middle of the kitchen. But! I'll never forget the mess of those valentines scattered all over the floor of my room, some of them damaged when the shelf collapsed and the bed had run over them. It's funny how the littlest thing becomes so important to a child.

It was a while before I understood this type of devastation had occurred:

That's a truck you see crushed under the fallen overpass... And no, the occupant didn't survive.

This is an aerial view of the VA hospital, 35 patients died here.

Authorities feared the San Fernando dam might collapse, causing the evacuation of some 80,000 people who lived in the valley below.

I really shouldn't complain because for some Feb. 9, 1971 was a horrifically life altering event. With regards to my life however, Valentine's Day from that point on, pretty much followed a similar pattern, though never quite as violent, but still leaving me with the same sinking feeling.

If you're interested, here's another personal account I found of the quake.

Partying like it's 2009

Here's a few snippets of family & friends 'Partying it Up'...

This is a picture of my son mocking me... He says I always give this look when I'm being judgmental... NO I DON'T... Okay, maybe I do.


This one I just don't have a good answer for...


The balloon noise makers were loud enough to make my ears bleed!


Thanks be to jeebus, Sam popped his balloon noisemaker.


Cute neighbor Cathy makin' some noise.


I wasn't the only one taking pictures...


It was quite a party alright...

Moderately Motivated

So I woke up this morning, took a shower and looked 'REALLY LOOKED' at my bathroom. Then I walked into my closet and looked 'REALLY LOOKED' at the mess that is my/our closet. Then I looked around my bedroom 'REALLY LOOKED' and you know what? I came to the conclusion that I just can't stand the clutter that is my life. It's not so much messy (my closet excluded) as it is just overloaded with stuff. Our house, while having a fair amount of square footage, is severely lacking ample storage space. Since this is the season for boasting Resolution and Change, let me lay it on the line... I'm making a solemn vow to all you inter-net-ers (like you care), that I have resolved to de-clutter my life... It's a new era. Next year someone is going to ask me where something is and I'm gonna KNOW exactly WHERE THAT THING IS!

Oh, and did I mention I'm also going to walk twice a day and get back on that low carb program which helped me lose all that weight a couple years ago? After my holiday purge, that is.

I'm pretty serious about all this folks and you know how you can tell? Because I'm sitting here on my ass writing about it, instead of ACTUALLY doing something. Yeah, that's motivation for ya.


Update: I put away the old coffee pot, set up the new one and cleaned the grime off the top of the fridge... Woo hoo! I'm really on a roll now eh?

Yummy Goodness!

By popular demand here's the recipe for 'Spiced Pecans'... Okay, by popular, I mean Lime asked, and she's pretty popular.

Spiced Pecans

1/2 c. Brown Sugar
1 tsp. Salt
1/2 tsp. Cumin
4 c. Pecan Halves
1/4 c. Butter/Margarine
1/4 c. Water
2 tsp. Chinese Five Spice Powder
1/2 tsp. Ground Black Pepper

Preheat oven to 350. Butter 2 large baking sheets. Melt 1/4 c. butter in large skillet over med. heat. Add brown sugar, 1/4 c. water and spices; stir until sugar dissolves. Add nuts to sugar mixture and cook until syrup thickly coats nuts, stirring frequently, about 5 min. Transfer nuts to prepared baking sheets, bake until golden, about 10 min., cool. Store air tight at room temperature.

Prepare to enjoy the awesome yummy goodness!

Sickly Desserts

So we're planning to attend my brother-in-laws annual Christmas-eve party. Always lots of good food, Yes FOOD, I'll get the whole workout thing in gear after the new year... June, July? I'm not sure, just some time after the new year... But I digress.

I thought it might be nice to bring a lil' sum'n, sum'n, for the party, so tonight I made one of my favorite recipes, 'Spiced Pecans'... Yummy & Easy, I won't complain about those because they turned out good. However, because I'm an idiot I grabbed a giant tub of 'Pretzel Rods' while I was at the grocery store. I knew I had melting chocolate at home, so I was golden for making some fancy shmancy choclatey gourmet pretzels all covered with chocolate in white, red and green holiday goodness. They turned out o-kay I guess, except the green food coloring looks more like snot from an infected nose and the red food colored chocolate looks a lot like Pepto-Bismol... And you know, nothing says Happy Holiday Goodness like snot and pepto.

If I weren't so tired and lazy right now, I'd take a picture of the pretzel rods spelling out the word FAIL.

Let There Be Light

Today my daughter had 4 teeth pulled... Four Adult teeth pulled... Not wisdom teeth, first molars. Her orthodontist has been trying to straighten her teeth for a year now but there's just not enought room in her mouth to make that happen. It seems we, as a race continue to develop a mouth full of large teeth, while our pallets our shrinking... Who knows, maybe our entire heads our shrinking due to the effects of the dumbing down of modern day society... Case in point: T.V. shows like Paris Hilton's search for a new BFF or that WTF show 'Jackass'... Hey, it's Evolution folks!

Wait, did I just suggest that my daughter had to have teeth pulled because she's part of the dumbing down of society? No, that's not true, she's never watched an episode of Jackass or Paris's show. Oh, forget it, now I'm just rambling.

Anyway, between changing out blood and saliva soaked gauze pads, what I really wanted to talk about today is Christmas lights. I LOVE lights. Ever since I was a little girl and my dad would take me to Disneyland*, I would dream of the day I could cover my own trees in tiny white lights, especially lights that twinkle!

Last year I blogged about our pre-lit Christmas tree and how the lights upon it were giving up the ghost. We'd had the tree for 7 yrs. and it was a good run but what fun is a tree which has half the lights dead. Sure you can put other strands on top of the dead lights BUT dead lights on a tree aren't hard to miss and to me they seem to scream 'Pathetic Christmas Loser.'

So, a couple of weeks ago the family, excluding myself, sat around our tree for over 3 solid hours removing all of the lights. Now this may seem like it should be an easy task, but 3 HOURS folks! There were literally thousands of little clips on the tree, securing the lights in such a fashion that a tornado wouldn't be able to rip them off. Though fingers were nearly bloody stumps at the end of the process of denuding the tree, everyone was pleased that we'd saved ourselves at least a $150 for not having to purchase a new tree and did you know that non-pre-lit trees are almost impossible to find?

So, with our 7 yr. old tree now free of dead lights we went to the store and purchased my favorite lighting option, white twinkle lights. Now before I go on here, I'd like to share a memory. Growing up in the 70's I remember helping to decorate the family tree. It wasn't pre-lit, there was a box full of limbs, each limb had a color on it's wire tip which you inserted to a matching colored hole on the trunk, then you spread the branches uniformly. It was a tedious process.

Now the lights, the lights were, in a word, UGLY things. They were the size of door knobs and had every color of the rainbow... Red, Yellow, Blue, Green, Hot Pink (yes, hot pink!), Aqua, Orange, etc. But I'll tell you what, thos UGLY lights worked year after year after year. Sure maybe you had to replace a doorknob size bulb every once in a while, but I sure don't recall my parents rushing out to buy new sets of lights every year.

Which leads me to my lovely twinkle lights.... Half of them are dead! Yes, our Christmas tree is currently half-lit... And if another strand of lights goes, that's exactly what I'm going to do... Get myself half-lit... Because then my eyes will blur and the tree might appear brighter and even if it doesn't, I won't really care.

Oh, and don't EVEN get me started on the lights in the garland on the banister. Grrrrrrrr! Freakin' cheap-ass Christmas lighting.



*For those who might never have been to Disneyland, at night, the trees light up with thousands of white twinkle lights, making the atmosphere even more magical. Disneyland at night, with my dad, is a treasured memory.

The Thanksgiving Tablecloth

There are several things about Thanksgiving we love... The gathering of family, the delicious food, (each family member having a favorite which Mom makes especially for them, my favorite being the butternut squash.) and sharing Christmas gift giving ideas... And we all look forward to the Thanksgiving Tablecloth.

The tradition began in 2000. I think i read about it in Family Fun magazine. It's a tablecloth you CAN write on. The idea being that each family member writes down what they're thankful for. Some family members add poetic verse, some draw pictures, some add silly comments and some just add a "Ditto" (I'm lookin' at you son... He doesn't like to write much. Everything he does write is generated on a computer screen.)

It's so enjoyable to spend a brief period before the table gets set to take time to read the many messages from years past and then take some time to reflect on what we have to be thankful for over the current year. All of the messages are precious, but the ones that really grab my heart, are those my Father-in-law added before he passed away 4 years ago.

This was the first year my 5 yr. old niece was here with us and old enough to add her own mark to the tablecloth... A picture, of Ariel... of course.

When it came time for dinner she especially worried that her dad might slop food on her picture.

The tradition continues.

But it's not even Thanksgiving yet!

Remember that Festival of Trees thing I blogged about last week?

I haven't been blogging much because I've been busy decorating Christmas trees...
But we haven't even made it to Thanksgiving yet you say?

Well, the world of Main Street promotional holiday retail begins this Friday... And I'm here to tell ya, it's been a busy week and it's only/already Wednesday!

So far I've decorated 2 trees, twice each. I had to decorate each tree once at home in order to insure I had enough ornaments for each tree. The Paper Treehouse tree, which I created to promote my card business, is made up almost entirely of handmade ornaments. I say almost because even though I've been working on creating ornaments (in my spare time) since September, I didn't have exactly enough to cover a 6 1/2 ft. tree... So yes, you'll see a few Wal-Mart trinkets hanging from the boughs of my creation. I'm all about complete honesty here folks.

Anywho, in case you weren't countin it's only November 12th and I've, in a sense, decorated 4 Christmas trees already... That, and I'm also heading the committee of exactly 3 people (including me) to get several of the shop windows on Main St. decorated for the holidays.

Tomorrow is another day of doing my part to grace this little corner of the world with some sparkly holiday wonderfulness. I'll try to get some pics of the shop windows but 'til then here are some shots of the trees I've decorated and re-decorated... But fortunately won't have to take down and put away because these trees are going up for auction!

Here's the topper for the Paper Treehouse tree
*wrapping that octagonal box was a logistical nightmare!

This is the topper I created for a tree designed for one of the retail shops on Main Street
*It might of been better if the bells didn't sit on top of the box, they're supposed to dangle.

Here's a sampling of some of the ornaments I've been working on for the past month or two.

And here are the results in my very messy living room which I haven't had time to clean.

Happy Halloween

My husband is working from home today.

The majority of my morning was spent picking up the house and knocking out a general To-Do List. While I was in the middle of vacuuming he came downstairs and extended the offer to take me out to lunch. I looked at him and said, "Looking like this?" Sweeping my arms wide so he could get the full effect of my current state of beautification. I hadn't showered yet, was wearing an old pair of sweat pants and a ratty shirt. What was left of yesterday's make-up was barely clinging to my face and I still had my hair in the pony-tail I'd thrown it up in before bed last night. He replied with, "Yeah, you look HOT!" I know very well he didn't mean the Paris Hilton kind of Hot but rather the 'You've been working hard and seem to be breaking a sweat, kind of Hot. I stopped, thought for a moment about not having to make lunch and figured, "What the hell, it's Halloween, I'll go to lunch dressed as a maid."I think everyone I ran into was really impressed with the authenticity of my costume.

Evolution of the 'Perfect' Christmas Gift

When I was 5, the perfect Christmas gift was a puzzle.
















When I was 10, the perfect Christmas gift was a baby doll.


















When I was 15, the perfect Christmas gift was clothes.















When I was 20, the perfect Christmas gift was jewelry.



















When I was 30, the perfect Christmas gift was decor for the house.














Now I'm in my 40's and the perfect gift THIS Christmas, was a set of non-stick,insulated baking sheets.















Ages 5 through 40 are SO disappointed.

Can't get that tune out of my head...

I've been listening to Christmas music all weekend... All day Saturday while cooking and preparing for our holiday party and all day Sunday while I wrapped gifts for shipping and addressed Christmas cards.

Since SO much holiday music has filled my head the last couple of days I decided to compile a list of my MOST Favorite and LEAST Favorite Christmas Tunes. Some of you may agree, some may disagree but nonetheless here they are:

Most Favorite
I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas - The Drifters version

Where Are You Christmas? - Faith Hill

O Holy Night - Josh Groban

Mele Kalikimaka - Don Ho (It's just so much fun to say, let alone sing!)


Least Favorite
ANYTHING by Celine Dion

Same Old Lang Syne - Dan Fogelberg
(I know, it's mean to dis the guy after he just died and all, but that song is so depressing... Like the line, 'Said she married her an architect, who kept her warm and safe and dry, she'd like to say she loved the man, but she didn't like to lie.' I'd rather not listen to stories about fractured marriages when I think about Christmas. I like his other music though.

It's the Holiday Season/Santa Claus is Comin' - Andy Williams
Is it Andy Williams that sings the song with the lyrics: 'It's the holiday season, so hoop de doo and dickory dock, don't forget to hang up your sock, cause he's comin' down the chimney down.'
(I'm sorry but ANY song with the lyric 'hoop de doo' simply must be put out of it's misery.)

But the very worst, the one song that makes me lunge for the power button on the stereo has got to be...

Christmas Shoes - Don't know who sings it because I never leave the stereo on long enough to find out!
(Yes, the song that regales us with the tragic tale of a man who's disillusioned with Christmas. However, on Christmas eve he happens upon a poor, bedraggled boy who doesn't have enough money to buy his sick mother a pair of Christmas shoes to wear when she meets Jesus in heaven. My son said yesterday (just after he lunged for the power button on the stereo), "What? is there some sign in heaven that says, NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO JESUS!" I have friends who think I'm a cold-hearted bitch for hating this song. Frankly, I just hate the idea of someone concocting a song in order to tug my heartstrings. There are plenty of circumstances people deal with throughout the year that make me want to cry... I don't need some mook with a pen, a piano and a penchant for the dramatic contriving a story to try to make me weep at Christmas... This song is sappy'er than a Vermont maple orchard.)

Now I simply must share the third category I have for Christmas music and that's the WTF? List.
My Christmas 2008 WTF? List is comprised of only two songs but I'm sure you'll agree...

WTF?
Dominic the Italian Christmas Donkey

I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

These are two songs which shouldn't be on any stations play list.

So what are your favorite holiday tunes?... Least favorite? Or another to add to the WTF? Perhaps you'll have some to add to my lists.

Sparing No Expense?

Despite all of the hoopla over my sons lungs, he and I got a little Christmas shopping done at the mall yesterday...Priorities folks, Pri-Or-Eh-Tees!!!

As we were purchasing a 'certain' video for a 'certain' family member, the cashier informed us that the DVD came with a free movie poster. As the cashier slipped the free gift into our shopping bag, I looked at my son and said, "COOL, We can also give 'certain family member' the free poster too!" To which my son replied, "What you mean to say is, they'll be receiving this incredible $30, limited edition movie poster along with their DVD."

A Warm & Fuzzy Feeling...

SO, It would seem I'm not the only Procrastinator out there...

Here I was worried about offending the blog reading world (or at least the 5 or 6 people who stumble upon this insignificant corner of the web) with my pissy rant on those evil do-gooders who get everything accomplished by December 1st...

But what ho?... Quite the opposite occurred and I was showered with praise and yes, Love even (thanks Stacie, I think I love you too in your new kick ass boots!)

So as Lime put it, 'Crastie's Unite, at least at some point when we feel like getting around to it.

My day isn't going to be spent accomplishing much of anything. The family and I are headed out to see 'Trans Siberian Orchestra' in concert and then enjoy a leisurely dinner together.

Maybe tomorrow I'll plan the menu for the Christmas party next week, Get those Christmas cards filled out and sent off, Finish the shopping, Start the process of finding boxes for everything and getting them wrapped, vacuum the stray Christmas trimmings off the carpet, Clean, Cook, Bake all that shit... I'm sure I can get to it tomorrow.... or the next day, or the next, or the next, or.....

When Holiday Efficiency DOESN'T Pay Off...

You know 'em, You hate 'em, You wish you were one of 'em...
Those irritating folks who manage all of their Christmas tasks sometime right after Thanksgiving. They say things like, "Oh, my shopping?, I finished it in July." ... or ... "I sent my Christmas cards out the day after Thanksgiving."... or ... "There were no lines at UPS when I shipped my packages last week." They say all of this with great arrogance and leave you feeling like the worlds worst procrastinator.

Today my friends... Today is the day the procrastinator can point their passive little index finger (or middle finger depending on your level of angst) at Mr. & Ms. Punctuality and say, "HA!" For today my ass-dragging little friends, as I drove across town, I came upon a UPS truck apparently the victim of a major engine failure as the entire front half of the van was completely melted off. Having extinguished the blaze at least a dozen firefighters were off-loading the charred remains of Mr. & Ms. P's productivity.

This is not to say I don't feel badly for the recipients of the toasted goodies which they sadly won't be receiving this year, but c'mon... It's only human to feel some sense of victory for my lethargy.

Note: No UPS men were injured in the events leading up to this post. However, there's one big brown truck that's headed for the scrap heap.